What am I thinking?

          It’s stupid of me to think that Kyuhyun still haven’t moved on after three years. Of course he will have a girlfriend. Am I hoping that he doesn’t? I don’t know. All I know is that this wasn’t a part of my act to ignore him. I know that I gave myself away from the expression of my face. I know he’s not stupid to believe me that I don’t know him.

          Anger burned in me as I walk towards the elevator. I punched the button with an unnecessary force and waited for it. I shouldn’t be affected but I guess a part of me was really surprised.

          I was hoping he’s single. I was hoping that…what?

          I was hoping that he still hasn’t moved on after three years but I guess the past doesn’t matter to him anymore. Why am I bothered with this? We don’t have anything to share anymore, just a painful past that I don’t even want to look back into.

          You should stop caring Tae Hee, I chastised myself.

          I should be happy because at least he’s occupied. Maybe with Yoona around he wouldn’t bother me too much.

          I sighed.

          Im Yoona. Her bubbly and kind attitude really won me over and I have no reason to hate her. It’s not her fault that she fell in love with him. I just hope she doesn’t turn into someone else and I hope she will never learn about Kyuhyun and me.

          The elevator arrived and I got inside. It was about to close when a hand stopped it from closing. I scowled.

          “What are you doing?” I demanded.

          “Tae Hee…I.” Kyuhyun said breathlessly as he gets inside the elevator too.

          “Mou?” I asked irritated.

          “Let’s talk.” Kyuhyun said finally.

          I shook my head. “Mianhe, oppa but I have to leave. If you’re not going to ride the elevator please get out.”

          Kyuhyun looked at me determinedly. “I will not get off until you agree to talk to me.”

          I scowled at him. He’s so damn stubborn.

          I composed myself and shrugged. “Fine, it’s your call.”

          I hit the first floor button and placed myself in the farthest corner of the elevator. I should stay as far away as possible.

          Out of the corner of my eye I can see the Kyuhyun is also uncomfortable with our situation and that made me feel better. At least I’m not the only one bothered by this.

          “Why are you so far away?” Kyuhyun asked me. Ten more floors before I got out of this stupid elevator.

          Why isn’t there anyone riding the elevator besides us? I can use a little help with distraction, even the janitor will do.

          I ignored Kyuhyun’s comment and looked pointedly at the steel walls. I am still so annoyed with him but I almost smiled when I saw him sniffing himself.

          Kyuhyun pointed at me. “Yah! I don’t smell bad. Why are you so far away?”

          “Can you please be quiet oppa?” I asked him back.

          “Mou?!” He asked surprised. “You…”

          Finally we arrived at the first floor. I got out as fast as I could and didn’t stop walking until I’m finally at my car. I was about to get inside when Kyuhyun slammed the door shut and put himself between me and my car.

          “What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.

          “I told you we need to talk.” Kyuhyun said.

          I glanced around, afraid that someone might see us. I don’t need rumors and any kind of publicity so I squared my shoulders and glared at him.

          “Fine. Let’s talk.” I said gritting my teeth.

          Kyuhyun looked surprised that I am giving him what he wants but he didn’t waste his time. “Why are you avoiding me?”

          “Oppa.” I said impatiently. “Haven’t we talked about this many times already? I’m not avoiding you and I don’t have to.”

          “Jinjja?” he smirked. “There’s no reason at all?”

          I met his gaze. “No reason at all. We only met a few days ago.”

          “Fine!” he snapped.

          “Is that all?” I asked coolly.

          Kyuhyun’s irritated face turned softer. “Tae Hee I…about what happened back in the dorm. Yoona and I…”

          I clenched my fist and stopped him before he can even continue whatever he’s going to say. “I don’t have time for this.”

          “But—.” Kyuhyun protested.

          I pushed past him and opened my car. He grabbed my hand and made me face him.

          “Let me explain.” he insisted and that’s when my patience snapped.

          “Look Kyuhyun oppa.” I said emphasizing every word. “I know you’re famous and all but I don’t need to know all about your love life. We will work together so please don’t make things complicated.”

          He stared at me. “Mou?”

          “I’m happy for you and Yoona.” I said my face blank. “It doesn’t matter to me who you’re with. We’re just co-workers after all.”

          I got inside my car without waiting for his reply. I got out of the SME parking lot before I can even see his reaction. Driving away from his is harder than I thought, especially when I look at my rearview mirror and seeing him just standing there, digesting all the things I have said.

          He has to know that I don’t care.

          Do I care?

Kyuhyun’s POV:

          I stared in disbelief as I stood there thinking of what she just said.

          It doesn’t matter?

          I kicked a rock in frustration not just because of what she said but because of me thinking that she cares. Really, Kyuhyun. Why the hell do you have to explain to her? My brain mocked me.

          There’s a reason why she’s doing this and the message has been clear since you saw her again. She wanted to be left alone and she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

          The image of Tae Hee back in the SNSD’s dorm flashed back to me. I’m not delusional or anything, I know what I saw. It was hurt that I saw in her face when Sunny introduced me as Yoona’s boyfriend. That’s why I ran after her even though I know I shouldn’t. It turns out I don’t have to explain things since she refuse to know me.

          I should just leave her alone. That’s what she wants, right?

          My phone rang and I answered it unconsciously.

          “Yeoboseyo?” I answered.

          “Oppa, did you left already?” It was Yoona on the other line.

          I cursed silently for leaving this long. “Aniyo. I’m just about to go back there.”

          “Arasso.” she answered.

          I hang up and put the phone back in my pocket.

          “I should be going back to Yoona’s side…” I told myself.

          I arrived back in their dorm and it was Tiffany who opened the door for me. I entered absentmindedly as Tiffany called out for Yoona.

          “Oppa!” she greeted me. “Did you talk to Tae Hee unnie?”

          I smiled back to hide my feelings. “Neh.”

          “What do you have to talk about anyway?” she asked innocently.

          I shrugged. “I just asked something Leeteuk hyung wants to know.”

          “Does Leeteuk oppa like Tae Hee unnie?” Sunny piped up from the sofa.

          I almost answered Sunny in an irritated tone but I caught myself. “I don’t know.”

          No need to add that Tae Hee doesn’t like Leeteuk hyung’s type. And who does she like? Me?

          I shook my head trying to clear my mind.

          “Gwenchanna, oppa?” Yoona said watching me.

          I put my smile back. “Neh just tired.”

          “Oh, mianhe.” she pouted. “I won’t keep you long. Go back to your dorm.”

          “Mianhe.” I apologized. “I’m just really tired.”

          “Aniyo, its fine.” she said as she led me to the door. “You have to rest.”

          “Arasso.” I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Good night.”

          “Good night, oppa.” she beamed.

          I walked back to the elevator and thought about Yoona’s smiling face. Yes, I should just focus on her. But I still couldn’t shake off Tae Hee’s reaction. I just hope I don’t cause any trouble for Yoona and Tae Hee.

          I arrived at our dorm and found Leeteuk hyung sitting on the couch together with the others. They greeted me when I said my hello.

          “Where have you been?” Donghae asked.

          “I came to see Yoona.” I replied and dropped on floor to sit beside Sungmin.

          “You’ve been to their dorm again?” Leeteuk hyung scolded me. “How many times to I have to tell we’re not allowed there?”

          “I just went to say good night.” I said defensively.

          “Aigoo.” Shindong complained. “You’re so stubborn.”

          “I won’t go there again.” I promised.

          I excused myself and went to my room. They were all puzzled that I didn’t even argue but I don’t want to explain myself. I need to rest my mind and be alone.

Tae Hee’s POV:

          What was Cho Kyuhyun thinking? I thought as I buy myself banana milk in the nearest convenience store. Why do I have to learn about his love life this way? And what’s bothering me is why I react this way. I shouldn’t be bothered by this anymore. I don’t care, that’s what I told him.

          I paid for my bill and sipped my milk on my way outside. I stopped and sat on an empty chair outside. Why does he always have to bother me?

          I hope he will just stop hanging around. I’m so tired of controlling my feelings when he’s around. There’s no way I’m going to get rid of him, but still I hope that I don’t have to do this everyday. I don’t like these confrontations with him and I don’t want to have any complications with working with Yoona and with the rest of SNSD.

          I emptied my first banana milk within a minute and I opened a new one. I remember Taemin, this is his favorite drink since like forever.

          I smiled despite of myself. Thinking of Taemin makes me happy. He’s so innocent and pure. He’s a grown up now too and he’s changed a lot from his physical built to his confidence.

          I’m so glad I have a friend like him. Almost like a brother.

          I should stop sulking. I decided that tomorrow I will just be Kim Tae Hee. I’ll stop bickering with Kyuhyun if I can avoid it. I’ll do my job, finish my contract and go back to Japan. That should be easy.

          “I can do that.” I said convincing myself. “I’ll deal with Kyuhyun coolly.”

          I have to do that.