I saw it.

                        I saw everything.

                        I hyperventilate in my car as I see Kyuhyun and Yoona kissing passionately in the parking lot. At first I was confused who the two people might be but as my car gets closer I recognized them. They were talking and then they kissed.

                        I sat there frozen in my car. I didn’t stay long enough to witness anymore cheesy scene from them. So I get my car in reverse and pull away from that place. My eyes stings as I bit back tears, trying to focus on the road ahead of me. I know these things will happen. It doesn’t matter if Kyuhyun and I admitted that we still love each other. The fact that we were both in a different relationship is enough to prove that what we felt for each other will not change anything.

                        And I’m right.

                        Kyuhyun might love me but he loves Yoona too and no matter how hard I tell myself that what I saw doesn’t bother me, it does because I still care. Because I still love him.

                        I wiped the tears and tried to ignore the throbbing of my heart. It hurts like losing one of its pieces again, making me unable to breathe properly. I can fight for Kyuhyun. I can ask him to leave Yoona’s side and I will leave Taemin. We can both start over but I won’t do that.

                        I won’t take Kyuhyun away from Yoona like a wicked girl.

                        I love Kyuhyun so much but I care for Yoona like a sister. Our friendship meant that much to me. 

                        And Taemin…my Taeminnie. I can’t betray him.

                        I tried to unwind myself in the park I saw. There weren’t any people around and the place feels sad. The silence just made my sadness more pronounced. There’s no one left to talk too.

                        Maria is busy. Taemin will not be pleased to hear my story and Yoona…well she’s with Kyuhyun.

                        Who else? And then it clicked.

                        I went back to my car and drove to the place where I have been many times I swear I can find it with my eyes closed, all I need is to follow my heart. I parked the car in front of a well built house that promises happiness.

                        I step out of the car and stopped at the front door.

                        I felt silly coming to this place. Of all places you choose this?

                        I was about to turn and change my mind when the front door opened. I saw the woman, maybe in her fifties, gasp at the sight of me. She took me into a hug and I closed my eyes. It took all my efforts not to cry.

                        “Tae Hee-ah.” smiled the lady. “It’s been a long time.”

                        I nodded mutely and she led me inside. She must’ve felt that something is wrong because she didn’t even ask me why I’m here, preferring to let me share when I’m ready.

                        “Are you here to see Ahra?” she smiled kindly.

                        Again, I nodded without saying anything.

                        “I’ll call her.” she smiled and disappeared upstairs.

                        Three minutes later Ahra came bounding down the stairs completely delighted to see me. I tried to muster a smile for her sake while Cho umma promised to make my favorite chocolate chip cookies. Cho umma is still the same, she still likes to wear her flowered apron and she still has a warm hands.

                        I missed her like I missed Ahra and Cho appa.

                        We were in Ahra’s room and it’s still the same except for some change of colors but all in all it’s still the same room.

                        “I actually don’t know why I’m here.” I admitted as I looked out the window.

                        “Of course you know why.” Ahra said as she sat on her bed.

                        “No I don’t.” I said shaking my head.

                        Ahra sighed. “You forgot? You always came here whenever you’re sad or upset. It doesn’t matter what the reason, you always come here and umma will cheer you up.”

                        Yes, of course. She’s right.

                        It doesn’t matter if I was upset with Kyuhyun or at school or anything. Back then, whenever I feel down, Cho umma and Ahra will be the one to cheer me up.

                        “Do you think its okay that I’m here?” I asked worriedly. “I mean…I know I’m not…”

                        “Tae Hee, you made umma happy by coming here.” Ahra smiled.

                        I smiled back. The thought of making Cho umma happy wipes some of my weariness. Ahra and I spent a lot of time talking about her life about everything except Kyuhyun. She avoids it like I avoid it because I know she can sense that her brother is the reason why I’m here. Why I’m sad.

                        Cho umma invited me for dinner and she made a little feast because I am here. Cho appa is so delighted with all the food and jokes that they only get to taste these kind of food when I’m here.

                        The dinner was a little awkward, I felt like a friend that hasn’t visited for so long and we ate quietly trying to preserve the moment. When dinner was finished Cho appa excused himself in his study while Ahra said she needs to do something. So here I am standing awkwardly in the kitchen while Cho umma keeps away the left over foods.

                        “Can I help?” I asked awkwardly.

                        She looked up and smiled. “No, it’s fine. Just sit there and I’ll make you a glass of milk in a while.”

                        “Have you been healthy?” I asked as she bustled away.

                        “Yes, thanks to God.” she smiled as she wiped the table.

                        “I’m sorry I never keep in touch.” I blurted out.

                        Cho umma didn’t answer for a very long time and I felt guilty for ignoring them for three years. I looked up when she put the glass of milk in front of me.

                        “I was sad to see you go but happy at the same time that you took your time to heal your heart instead of wallowing in sadness.” Cho umma said gently.

                        I realized that she understood what I did but still I was wrong.

                        “What’s important is that you’re here and I was able to see you again.” she said as if reading my mind.

                        I sip the milk like a lost child and I feel warm.

                        “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Cho umma said. “Sometimes that boy can’t realize things but he always does in the end…”

                        I was confused by her words. I know she’s talking about Kyuhyun but I don’t understand what she’s getting at.

                        Cho umma stood up and went to the sink whispering softly. “In the end I will only have one daughter-in-law.”

                        She bade me goodbye on the door and I promised I will try to visit if I can but I doubt if step foot in the house again because the next time someone will visit her it will be Yoona, her future daughter-in-law.