By the time I got back to my house, I’m already emotionally drained. I didn’t know how many times I have to pull my car over the side to let the waves of tears subsided. It’s a miracle that even made it home.

                When I got inside my house all that I was able to do is sit on the bottom step of the stairs and cry. It was late at night and the silence of my house is killing me. There was a knock on my door and I look at the clock with disbelief.

                It’s almost midnight. Who the hell would want to visit at this hour?

                I paled. Is it Kyuhyun perhaps?

                I tiptoed towards the window in my living room and peeked at the curtains. It wasn’t Kyuhyun…it was Yoona.

                There’s a knock again and I hastily wiped my tears away. I struggled to make up an excuse because I know that I couldn’t let Yoona stand in my porch like that, not in this cold.

                I sighed and opened the door for her.

                “Unnie.” Yoona mumbled, shocked at my appearance.

                I offered a smile. “It’s kind of late to visit. Is there anything wrong?”

                She winced at me like I have gone crazy. “You’re the one I should be asking that question.”

                “I know.” I replied. “I’m a mess.”

                She moved inside without being invited and engulfed me with a hug. I’m like a robot as she led me inside of my own house. She made me a cup of tea and helped me clean my face. She didn’t ask once about why I am crying. She just sat with me while I mull things over.

                “Thank you for staying here with me.” I mumbled after some time.

                She gave me a bright smile. “It’s okay, we’re friends, right?

                “Neh.” I nodded. “How did you know I’m upset though?”

                “I didn’t.” she frowned like she’s thinking what brought her here in the first place. “I just have a hunch.”

                “Huh?”

                “I was doing something earlier and then you came into my mind.” She explained. “So I drive here to check on you.”

                “Oh, arasso.” I said, puzzled.

                “I do that all of the time, you know.” Yoona smiled sheepishly. “I mean check on people when I feel like something’s wrong.”

                I smiled. “It must be helpful.”

                “It drives them crazy.” she laughed. “They said I’m imagining things.”

                “This time you’re not.” I whispered.

                Yoona patted my hand in a sisterly way. “I’m just here okay?”

                I nodded.

                Looking at her I was tempted to tell her the truth but maybe I’m just selfish that I wanted to keep our friendship like this and that means keeping her in the dark. I realized I don’t want to lose her too. Yoona tucked me into sleep and weariness gives way, I was asleep within seconds.

                When I woke up next morning, my eyes were puffy and my head feels like exploding. I went downstairs and saw Yoona making breakfast.

                “Good morning.” she smiled.

                “Morning.” I mumbled. “Where did you sleep last night?”

                “In the couch upstairs.” she smiled brightly but I was horrified.

                “But that wasn’t comfortable!” I protested. “You should have gone home.”

                She smirked at me. “And leave you? I don’t think so unnie.”

                “B-but…” I stammered.

                Yoona pulled me towards the table. “Let’s eat. I didn’t make this for nothing.”

                “Yoona!” I said putting my hands on her shoulder. “Gumawo. I don’t know how to thank you.”

                She surprised me by laughing. “You should stop acting like this so that I won’t be worried or else you’ll find me popping out of nowhere to check on you.”

                I smiled. “Arasso.”

                I waved at her on the porch when she said her goodbye and I was struck how ironic our situation was. Here I am hurting over my past with my ex-fiancé and of all the people who would comfort me it was Yoona, Kyuhyun’s girlfriend.

a}�e.�����n’t mention auditioning because I never imagined that they’ll accept me and with all the wedding preparations I wasn’t able to say anything about it.”

                 I paused and she gave me the look that tells me that she’s beginning to understand. She’s beginning to understand the worst.

                I forced myself to continue. “They gave me a few weeks to decide. I need to under go trainings before debut and they said that I couldn’t focus on that if I’m going to be married already. I need to make a choice.”

                “And you choose your career.” Tae Hee said, disbelief written all over her face. “Is that what you’re telling me?”

                “No!” I answered hurriedly.

                “Then what?” she asked, new tears forming in her eyes.

                “I was confused.” I mumbled weakly. “You know how much I wanted to become a singer and then the opportunity came up. I didn’t know how to tell you to put our wedding off for a while and…”

                “So you just cancelled on the exact date.” she stated it like a fact.

                “Aniyo.” I replied. “I was confused that day and I wanted to talk to you but they said you’re leaving and they won’t tell me where you are.”

                “They did the right thing.” Tae Hee said finally and left me there.

                I sat in that room for a very long time, mentally exhausted. I replayed our conversation in my head over and over and none if it comes out good.

                Sungmin appeared in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

                “You’ve been here for four hours.” Sungmin said. “It’s already dark outside.”

                “Did they suspect anything?” I asked, talking about the crews.

                “No, I took care of it.” Sungmin replied and I nodded my thanks. I don’t want Tae Hee to be caught up in another bad situation.

                I didn’t make any desire to move and Sungmin decided to sit with me.

                 “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

                “Aniyo.” I replied.

                I was looking at my hands and then my vision got blurry. I wiped the tears away, refusing to be seen like this.

                “You still love her don’t you?” Sungmin asked quietly. “That’s why you still care. That’s why you couldn’t walk away from her.”

                I bowed my head.

                “Yes.” I whispered fervently. “Yes, I still love her.”

                But none of this matters. This is the consequence of what I’ve done.