Donghae was driven to the hospital and he has stayed there for how many days after he collapsed. The doctor said he had a heart attack. It was because he wasn’t taking his prescribed medicines. He hadn’t also visited the doctor for further examination. And it was all because of me. I was the one who dragged him here. Hadn’t I done that, he might not be in the hospital right now.

When I learned about that, I have blamed myself since. And I grew more worried with each passing day. When I saw him lying in his hospital bed, I was so hurt. I was scared that I might lose him.

It’s now 2 weeks before our wedding day. Everything seemed to be almost-done but I couldn’t be happy and prepared for the wedding. I am so worried of Donghae.

Each night when he’s in the hospital, I always pray that he may live long enough for him to be happy, for us to be married. I know his time is almost up but I kept praying that maybe, just maybe he’ll live longer.

 Coronary Heart Disease has no cure; the worst thing about having that kind of disease. But I still hope that maybe someday we’re gonna be married and have a happy family together. I want Donghae to be happy. I want him to fulfill his promise to me.

“Sica,” Siwon Oppa was comforting me in my room while Tiffany and Yoona were in the hospital, paying Donghae a visit. I couldn’t see him. I don’t want to see him so weak. I want to see him strong and able enough. I want when I see him he can still speak, move and hug me so tight.

As tears streamed down my face, I remembered when he said my name a thousand times on the way to the hospital. I feel so sad.

I hugged Siwon Oppa. “Oppa, he’s gonna be okay, right?”

“Shh,” caressing my back, he said, “Yes, of course. Hae is so stubborn, y’know. He won’t let go that easily. He loves you though even if it costs a fight with death. Keep your hopes up.”

The door to my room opened and my parents came in. “Siwon, may I have a moment with my daughter?”

Siwon smiled. “Of course, Your Highness,” he stood up and went out, leaving me with my parents.

They came to me, sat beside me. “Darling,” my mother started. “You should not worry yourself. He’s going to be all right.”

I hugged my mom. Daddy patted my head and said, “Won’t you give your father a hug? I know how to comfort.”

It made me smile. I went to my Dad and hugged him, “Of course.”

“Princess, be strong, my girl. I know your man’s gonna be all right. I saw him and he’s a strong man. He has been strong for you. Now, be the one to give him strength. Be strong for him,” Dad consoled while caressing my hair.

He pushed me a little, wiped my tears away and said, “Will you be strong, princess?”

I nodded. “Yes, I will. For him, I’ll be strong.”

“Though, I know he’s not the one you want to be with forever—“

“What?”

He smiled and said, “I know you love someone so much and it’s not Donghae. I know you love Suho. And I adore that boy also for being strong, leaving you just for you to love Donghae.”

I bowed my head, preventing myself from crying.

“We know, Darling,” my mother added. “We know you and Suho will gonna end up together.”

“How can you say that mother?”

I felt her warm hand on my shoulder. “It’s because me and your Dad had gone through it. We weren’t able to be together not until my fiancée back then canceled the engagement. And seeing you so confused, we took the move to advise you, Darling.”

She tilted my head up. “Be strong. Worry no more of future. If you are meant to be, you would be. Right now, be strong for Donghae.”

I exhaled and said, “Yes. For Donghae, I will be strong.”

This is for you, Hae. Forgive me if I can’t love you as much as how I love Suho. But still, I have feelings for you. And I’ll make use of these feelings for me to be strong for you. You may not be that someone I dearly and truly love, still, I love you.

Let’s be strong.

---

8/21/14#4