I am in my room, thinking about what mess I’ve done this time. Donghae isn’t only my boyfriend but he’s my fiancé, too. But I really love Suho; I don’t wanna lose him. What the heck? How can I tell him? I don’t want him to get hurt. He sacrificed so much for me, for us, this relationship but, Suho…what now, Jessica?

*Tok! Tok!

  Sudden knocks interrupted my thought. I fixed myself before saying, “Come in.”

The door opened and I saw the person I trusted the most but now I kinda hate. I do not know if it was okay to feel that way but whenever I see her being close to Suho, I just can’t help but to feel jealous.

“Hi, Sica,” she called.

I stood up and went to my closet, “What’re you doing here?”

I grabbed a cardigan and wore it, then went to the dresser to fix myself, wore the bracelet Suho gave me. I saw Yoona through the reflection, staring at me. “Stop staring at me, Yoong.”

“That’s Suho’s silver bracelet,” she said. I stiffened. How did she know about it? “Carved on it is Joon Myeon ♥ Soo Yeon. Isn’t ‘Soo Yeon’ your real name?”

I looked back at her, trying to find a hint of what she was feeling but I couldn’t figure it out. I stood up and walked near her. “How did you know?”

She smiled which made me feel guilty. But she said, “Sica-ah, sorry for trying to distant Suho from you. It’s not like what you think.”

I was stunned, really but I managed to control my emotion. Moving towards where she was seated, I asked, “And why would you do that? I mean, wh—how did you know about me and Suho?”

She just pulled me by hand to make me sit beside her. She gave me a tight hug and whispered, “It’s pretty obvious, y’know?”

We giggled and I almost cried remembering that she sacrificed so much for me. She even came here with me and it was just so foolish of me to even think badly of her moves. Yoona has been with me all this time, though she knows I am a royal girl. She’s my bestfriend! For god’s sake, Jessica! Stop ruining your relationship Yoona. She’s the most amazing person living on earth. Yoona is the sister I wish I had.

“Yoona,” I held her hand. “I’m sorry for thinking so badly about you. I love you, best friend.” I wasn’t aware I have tears streaming down my face.

Smiling, she gave me a light hit on my head. “Pabo! You’re crazy, Sickal! You’re supposed to trust me!”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” I said, nodding.

“Hey! You tell me about you and Suho! You selfish best friend,” Yoona complained before pinching my cheeks.

“Ahh~”

I started feeding her the details of our (SUHO) secret relationship. I told her first what I felt for Suho back at Jackson. When Suho and I met, I know we’re gonna end up relying on each other. There are so many things that we are alike. It felt like he was the God-given gift for me and no one else could even be so alike to me, only him.

I always knew back then that I have appreciated his presence, his attention, his care for me. He never made me feel worthless, ordinary and unwanted. The times I was with him were always filled with smiles and happiness. Though, sometimes I never told him nor spoke about it, I felt it. It’s because happiness is not expressed verbally. Happiness is felt; words aren’t adequate to tell how much a person is happy. 

“And yes, we are dating,” I finally concluded.

Yoona was silent for a while, but she managed to say, “As much as I wanted to be happy as you are, I just can’t.”

“What do you mean, Yoong?”

She exhaled. “Sica, you know yourself you’re cheating on Donghae Oppa. I just can’t be happy knowing it’ll hurt Oppa. Sica, I’ve grown up knowing him, we’ve been friends for too long and knowing that you’re cheating on him, it just makes me feel guiltier.”

“It’s right. I’m guilty, too. But I just don’t know how to tell him. I don’t know if he’ll understand or get mad. I also don’t want to hurt him. I—We’re getting married. . .” Slowly, I looked at Yoona. “, I’m getting mar--ried?”

Tears started streaming down my face with no certain reason. Maybe because I was really doomed, or maybe I was a great coward, so I cried in Yoona’s arms. 

Once again, I was back to Jessica who was so lost in the world. This time, I’m all grown up. I’m choosing between two who matter so much to me. In the past, I choose between my kingdom and my dream. Though it was so hard leaving my kingdom, I chose my dream. I’m back to that hardest time.

Who to choose: Donghae or Suho?