JESSICA

I woke up with my head so heavy. I couldn’t even open my eyes but I know I should. I still have to open my bakeshop . . .

I automatically stood up. “WHAT THE HELL?”

The door burst opened and Yoona came with wide eyes. She sat with me and asked, “What’s wrong, Jess?”

“Why am I-I here?”

She scowled. “Why wouldn’t you be here? It’s your house,” she said, as if telling me I’m an idiot for asking why in the hell I have slept in my own room, my own bed.

“No. I was. . . I was—“

“Ah!” She exclaimed. “You wanna know how did you come over here?”

I glared at her.

“Suho brought you here, carrying you even though I know you weigh 70 kilograms—“

I hit her. “Aww! I’m just kidding, you know?”

“I don’t weigh 70 kilograms, okay? I’m lighter. But what? Suho brought me here?” I asked, confirming.

She nodded and smoothed her hair. “Yeah, and he stayed a bit longer, watching you.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. You know what? What happened?”

As she asked me about what happened, memories flooded my head again. The memories from the dinner to the tree flashed in my mind so many times. Then I just found myself shedding tears.

Yoona, who looks so worried, asked me about what happened again. I started feeding her up with the information about Donghae being here after all this time of trying to forget about him and how he never called me.

It’s just too painful to know that, you know? It’s like I didn’t exist in the first place. Was I nothing like a piece of trash to be thrown away? Or ignored.

In the living room, with a legal pad in his hand and a ballpen in the other one, she started to collect information.

“So tell me, he’s really here?”

I glared at her. “Yes. You asked me for the 10^th time now, you know that?”

She bit her lip. “Sorry, I’m just trying to help.”

She sat beside me, facing me. “Are you okay, Jess?”

“Obviously, I’m not. You know what, Yoona? If he really wants to be with me, he should have called,” I said, facing her. “It’s that easy, right?”

“Yeah, maybe,” she shortly said.

I shook my head and tried to erase him from my head but I couldn’t. Damn it! It’s obvious I’m not yet over you, Donghae!

“But I hear—“

“What did you hear?” I asked as immediate as I have interrupted Yoona.

She glared at me. “You obviously still care for him.”

I ignored her and said nothing.

“But okay. I heard he ran away because he doesn’t want to get married with that Kwon Yuri. And, his father, Lee Soo Man, that filthy rich, he’s really rich and owns lots of lands and all. I just can’t imagine living their own lives. They—“

“Yoona, losing it!”

“Oh! I’m sorry,” she apologized, smiled. “He ran away. Other people say it’s because he doesn’t want to get married with Kwon Yuri. They say, Yuri has someone she loves and she cannot just let her parents ruin it. Love, love. It’s so depressing.”

Love.

Everyone is blinded by love. No matter how hard you try to deny it, when love hits you, it hits you like a yellow school bus. And it just sends you away, knocked you unconscious and when you wake up, you feel so much better. It’s like you’re used to make pain comes.

And I was once blinded with my love for Donghae.

I still remember every word he said to me when he approached me, tripping and smiling like a fish.

“Yaah! You fish! You just spilled my coffee on me!” I said, pointing at him angrily.

He stood up and bowed. “Mianhae, Jessica. I didn’t mean to.”

What? He knows me?

I raised an eyebrow when our gazes met. He just smiled at me and handed me a scarf. “Here. You can use that to hide the stain,” he said, digging through his back, he produced a shirt. “And here, Jessica, use this. I’m really sorry.”

He was about to turn away as I accepted those things but I stopped him. “Hey, Pabo,” I called out.

He turned to me and said, “Wae?”

“How did you know my name, you fish?”

Ignoring the name I called him, he said smoothly, “Everyone talks about you.”

I nodded once.

“Mianhae if I did that to your shirt but you need to cover it now with my scarf,” he said. I looked at him. “And I can see your bra.”

My eyes widened. I looked down and immediately covered my s with his scarf. “Stupid fish!” I shouted.

“Huh?”

“PABO BADA! PABO BADA! YOU FISH!!

I ran as fast as I could.

I shook my head.

“Why in the hell are you smiling?” Yoona scowled at me, as if telling me I am crazy. “Did I miss something?”

I shook my head, telling there’s none she missed. “Nope. I just realized how epic our love story is.”

Yoona raised an eyebrow.

“Donghae and I . . . we were really for each other.”

Yoona pretended she passed out but sat straight after. “Are you drunk? I can’t really say one thing that I’m sure of. One minute, you hate him, the next minute; you adore your love story. It’s like telling me you miss him.”

I smiled. “You cannot blame me, Yoong. He’s my first love and always be. He made me feel like I’m his girl, his only girl. And learning that he ran away, because he doesn’t want to get married with that Kwon Yuri, gives me hope.

“You can’t just blame me,” I said and took Yoona’s hand, squeezing it like telling her that I am confused but I am neither stupid nor dumb. “It gives me hope that someday we’d end up together. But I am not fool enough to wait for nothing. When everything is settled, okay, I’d find my own.”

“Jessie.”

“Yoong, I’ll not wait so long. Just when I feel and know everything is settled, I’d find my own. I’d find my own happiness. I promise you that. I will be happy.”

She hugged me tight and said, “I’m worried but I trust you enough to not let yourself get hurt. Okay? When you feel you cannot do it any longer, give up. Give up.”

Smiling, holding back my tears, I said to her, “I will.” I lied. I am not sure.

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