“Then marry Jessica.”

I choked when I heard what Tae said. Suho, with great concern written on his face, handed me a glass of water and went near me, rubbing my back.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded my head and said, “Yes.”

We heard Tae’s laugh. We glared at her and that made her stop. “What now love birds?”

Ignoring what she called us, I said, “Tae Unnie, it’s overboard.”

“You can’t just tell me to marry Jessica,” Suho said.

Taeyeon laughed and said, “Why so serious, my brother? Anyway, it’s okay with me if you two end up together. Beca—“

“Noona, don’t be an advance thinker,” Suho warned her big sister. “Jessica might have someone she likes.” He ate his piece of roasted chicken and didn’t say nor add something to the conversation.

“Jessica,” called Tae. I looked at her. “Do you have someone you like? I mean, are you dating someone—“

“No,” I answered almost hurriedly as I could. And I’d answered the truth. Ain’t I?

“Really? I mean, there are many handsome men in town—Are there not?” Her expression changed from really being someone who thinks everything is okay to someone that sleep has been disturbed.

I smiled wryly. “Yeah, there a lot. And I lied when I told you I don’t like even a single man in town. I mean, yeah, I kinda like this one man—“

“Oh, my!” she exclaimed, eyes widened. “Who’s this lucky boy?”

I bit my lip. What the hell? Yes, of course. “Someone I don’t want to disturb his own life. He needs to do something and I cannot risk destroying his plan. He has lots of things to finish and I don’t wanna be a burden, showing up and telling him I like him. And I still don’t want to get involved.” What was that? Am I tellin’ the truth? Who in the hell am I talking about?

Biting my lower lip, I hesitated but Tae unnie is such a good friend of mine. “Donghae left a great impact in me and I’m still going rough about it.”

“Hey,” Suho called. I looked his way. “That Donghae . . . is he Lee Donghae?”

Confused, shocked, name it, but there’s no wrong in telling the truth. Afterall, Suho has been a good person to me. “Yes.”

With worry plastered, he said to me, “He’s back in town.”

“What?”

I felt a hand touched my arm. It’s Tae unnie. I see sincerity in her eyes. Though, smiling, I can see she’s worried. But, about what?

“Jessica, Donghae is really back.”

Memories of us started flooding my head. I heard his voice; his laugh, his sob, his chuckle, his husky voice.

My eyes started to blur and I tried to tighten my grip and hold back my tears that are ready to fall any time. My breathing is ragged, my hands tremble, and my mind is crowded with memories, our memories. His memories.

I came back to my senses when I heard Suho’s voice, asking me if I’m all right. I stood up.

“I gotta go, Tae unnie,” I said and was about to turn away when I heard Tae unnie protested.

“Jessica!”

I ran as fast as I can, crying, thinking, hurting once again. I can only hear my sobbing; no one’s outside except for the vendors in their stores. No one. No one can hear me nor see me crying.

I cannot go home. Not like this. Yoona must still be there. She cannot see me like this, hurting because of Donghae.

Donghae

He’s here. Where could he be right now? Where in this part of town? Where in Jackson?

As fast as I can, I ran to the woods, to my tree. Ignoring the fear emerging in me, I have reached my tree. Through it’s dark, the moon is enough source for me to clearly see my name written on my tree’s branch.

Sooyeon. Jung Sooyeon.

Scraping dirt just below my name, I inhaled and exhaled. It’s tampered with soil, land; moisten land that now seems to be part of the branch. But I know it’s still here.

I scraped hard and there . . . written so hard, so deep, like in my heart.

Donghae

    ♥

Jessica

    ∞

Donghae loves Jessica forever (infinity)

I sobbed, hard but I know no one hears me. I’m in the wood, so thick that no one can actually hear me even though I shout.

So he came back? And without even calling me? Or telling me he’s here? How long has he been here all this time? How long? He didn’t even let me know? He left me and now what? Ignore me like I’ve never been part of his life? Am I that cheap? Have memories and forget about me? Damn it!

All this time, I’m still affected by him. Even that news almost killed me midway. How could I let myself do this? How could I even breathe after he left? I don’t actually know how good I’m doing without him until now. Afterall, he’s my wrecker, my broker, my destroyer. I’m almost there, forgetting about his existence, but hearing and knowing he’s here made me feel the pain I felt when he left me hanging there, expecting so much but in reality, he never called nor came back for me.

And now what Jessica? You’re letting him get the best in you?

He came back . . . and I’m sure as hell he didn’t come back for me. ‘Cause if he did, he could have contacted me as he took a single step in Jackson.

My head pounded as hell and I tried ignoring it. But how much I try; it gets even more painful like actually someone’s banging my head hard.

“Arghhh!!”

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