CHAPTER 56: 

 

 

 

The night passes by I didn't sleep. My first night without my love. Did I really hurt her? Did I really cross the line this time? We both agreed that our relationship will be private. Where did she go? Who is she with?

 

I leap out of our bed, take a shower even though its too early. We have rehearsal this morning and a YGE party tonight. I hope she will come so that we can talk. I have to talked to Gian and squeeze some info from her. I know she knew where Chelle is right now.

 

The other members are still sleeping. I don't care if its only 5 in the morning, I want some answers now! I knocked at Gian and TOP hyungs room.

 

GIAN: "Jiyong is there something wrong?"

GD: "I want to talk to you about Chelle."

 

She didn't answer. Instead she walks inside her room, sit on the bed and glance at the clock. I followed her and sits on the couch. TOP hyung is still sleeping.

 

GIAN: "Its just 5AM! I bet you didn't sleep at all."

GD: "I just want to know where she is, please?"

GIAN: "Did you even know why she left?"

GD: "We both agreed to keep our relationship private. So I said that I don't have a girlfriend."

GIAN: "That's the problem! You said that knowing she's right beside you."

GD: "I caught up in a moment. I didn't know what to say."

GIAN: "You have to give her time to think. She cant stop crying yesterday."

GD: "Who is she with?"

GIAN: "Do you really wanna know?"

 

That hits me! She's with Ilwoo. But I didn't bother to ask. Every blood in my body is gone. Fear runs down my spine. I can loose the girl I love. She cant abandon me at this very moment.

 

GIAN: "You okay! You wanted something to eat?"

 

I feel my eyes got wet. I cant control it. I burst into tears. I feel a stabbing pain in my heart. I want to shout and destroy everything at my sight.

 

GIAN: "Jiyong are you okay? It will be fine. Just give her time."

 

I cant answer her, I just cry and cry. The fear is building up every second in my entire body. I cal feel Gian's concern. My tears wont stop! She stands up, grab some tissue and give it to me. I don't care if I cry like a baby infront of them.

 

TOP: "Jiyong, I didn't see you like this before."

GD: "Hyung, what will I do? I don't want to loose her." 

TOP: "You will not loose her. Give her the time and space she needs. When the right time comes she will come and talk to you."

GD: "What if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if she doesn't love me anymore?"

TOP: "You have to trust her. We all know that she loves you so much Jiyong."

 

Gian hands me a glass of water, pats my back and give me a smile.

 

GIAN: "Don't worry she will be back!"

 

I didn't know what to say. I just buried my head in my hands and cry. TOP hyung and Gian didn't know how to cheer me up. 

 

TOP: "Yah! Kwon Jiyong, stop crying and face the consequences of your actions."

 

After our rehearsal, I decided to go to my condo to think. I drop Seung Ri in our dorm before I went to my place. It's almost dark when I arrived and when I open the door my eyes catches my phone in the table. Thank God my baby is here! But I frown at the thought! I didn't mentioned her my lock code. Then realization hits me. When I turn around I saw Kiko.

 

KIKO: "Hi babe! I miss you so much!" She said while hugging me and giving me a passionate kiss on my lips. 

 

I pushed her away from me. 

 

GD: "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get my phone?"

KIKO: "I always stay here whenever i'm in Korea and I like to remind you that you bought this place for the both of us."

GD: "That's before! We're not together anymore!"

KIKO: "I know you love me. You didn't even bother to change your lock code."

 

She drag me towards my room and push me in the bed. Her sudden attack caught me off guard. She kisses me again in my lips and my neck.

 

GD: "Stop! I don't love you anymore!"

 

She stop and look at me. I manage to push her aside so that I can stand up. She sits on the bed and stare at me.

 

GD: "Where did you get my phone?"

KIKO: "Chelle give it to me! She almost faint when saw me." She said and smirk at me.

GD: "What did you tell her?"

KIKO: "I told her that I was waiting for you to come home."

GD: "How could you?!"

KIKO: "Babe, why are you acting this way?"

GD: "Because she's my life now! And I don't want to hurt her and why are you wearing her nighties?"

KIKO: "I can feel that she's going to come so I wear this and it worked! Looks like she's going to break up with you then we will be together again." She said while trying to come close near me.

GD: "Don't you dare come close to me?"

 

My mind is spinning. I don't know where she is and how to contact her. I left the room and grab my phone. Before I could open the door, Kiko hug me from the back.

 

KIKO: "Don't leave me! Lets work things out."

GD: "I'm sorry but you're in my past now! I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE!"

 

She lets go of me and said:

 

"I'll find a way to be your present and your future, babe!"

 

I didn't answer her. It will never happen. Chelle is my present and future and I hope she feels the same way too.

 

I went to the YGE hoping that I could see Chelle. The party has started and Chelle isn't here yet. I started to drink, I didn't even bother to eat anything. YB and Dae keep reminding me to stop drinking but I didn't listen to them.  

 

I didnt know what time it is, YB escorts me towards the company car.

 

"I WANT MY BABY BACK!"

 

That's the only thing I keep repeating in my mind. I can still feel the pain even though i'm drunk. When we arrive at home, i'm hoping to see Chelle but the first face I saw is Minho. I vent out all my anger to him. I want to curse and hit him at the same time. I think our maknae is mad at me but I cant hear what he's saying to me. All I know is someone is holding me and put me into bed then in no time i'm asleep.

 

The next day, my head hurts. I didnt know what time it is, i'm still wearing the clothes from yesterday except i'm not wearing my shoes and socks. I hear voices outside talking, they're talking about Chelle. My baby!

 

DS: "Maknae, tell us where did Chelle go?"

SR: "I cant hyung! I promised her I wont tell anyone."

YB: "Spill it out Lee Seung Hyun!"

SR: "No! My girlfriend will be mad at me. She's fine! Don't worry!"

 

I stormed out the room and everyone pinned their eyes on me.

 

GIAN: "You're awake! You want to eat something?"

SR: "Hyung, are you okay?"

YB: "Bro, no more drinking for you from now on."

TOP: "He's right! You better stop drinking too much."

 

I ignore all of them and went straight to Seung Ri.

 

GD: "Where is Chelle? I need to talk to her. I need to see her."

SR: "Hyung, as much as I want to tell you where she is right now but I cant. I'm sorry!"

 

Seung Ri suddenly stand up and went to his room. Before he close the door he turn to me and said:

 

"Its really unfair to Minho what you said to him last night. I wanted to be mad at you but my girlfriend wants me to look after you while she's gone."

 

My heart receives another stab and it hurts so much. She cares for me even though I hurt her. What have I done?

 

My mind keeps replying what maknae said. She's mad at me as hell but her concern towards me never fades. Were at the dressing room for the year end of SBS, we decided Dara noina to replace Chelle.

 

The dressing room is in chaos. Everyone is chatting and teasing. I keep thinking where Chelle might be. I've been asking Gian and maknae for some info but I didn't get anything from them. Suddenly an idea pops in my head.

 

GD: "Noona, dye half of my hair with the color pink."

 

Everyone turn at me!

 

GD: "Is there something wrong? I dyed my hair a couple of times. Don't be surprise!"

 

Noona just smiled and lead me to a vacant chair. This is for you my baby. I miss you. I miss my pinkish girlfriend!

 

The show starts and soon its our turn to perform. I did my best oft our performance. How I wish my baby is with me right now. I hope she's here for our MBC performance. She will enjoy the show because Joon and Thunder will be there. 

 

After the show, I told everyone that i'm going to a bar to unwind. But everyone protested. 

 

YB: "You cant go alone Jiyong. You will be in trouble for sure."

TOP: "If you want to drink, just stay in the apartment. We will join you."

 

I didn't know how many bottles of beer I drink. All I know is that I sleep the whole day after the SBS. I'm so tired but I have to find my baby.

 

Tomorrow is our last show for this year. We're just hanging in the apartment. YB, Dae and maknae are playing video games while TOP hyung and Gian are cuddling in the couch. This two, they cant get enough of each other. To be honest i'm a bit jealous. I miss cuddling my baby too. Of it wasn't me and mu big mouth she will be here with me. 

 

To kill my boredom I open my twitter account. Its been days since the last time I check my DMs. My attention got caught by Dara noona's retweet. It's from Ilwoo's account. My heart beats faster. The first one is a pic. A pic of Chelle's back siting in a shore while watching the sunset. Damn! I'm right! They're together! They are trap in an island? Just the two of them? I immediately open the second retweet and found a video.

 

I watched it and I almost punch my laptop. Ilwoo is singing in the stage while Chelle is standing in the corner, crying. The message of Ilwoo to Chelle makes my heart aches again. He really loves my girl and he's willing to wait for her.

 

I immediately shut down my laptop. I went to the kitchen to get a beer and locked myself inside our room. Damn that man! He's taking advantage of our situation.

 

When I was inside her room, realization hits me. If I will not make a move right now, I might loose her. FOREVER! I stare in our corner and found her skates missing. Oh God! I comb my hair with my hands. After all the heart aches and pains I cause het, she still cares for me. She still make sure I eat on time and take a rest. She ask our maknae to look after me while she's gone. She even still care about us. She take her skates. The skates I gave her. I hurt her and she still cares for me. I'm a fool. I'm a damn fool!

 

I reach for her phone and start staring in her pics again. Chelle! I'm sorry for causing you so much pain. You don't deserve it! And i'm dying right now knowing you're with another man.

 

I drink another beer and heard a knock on the door. I didn't bother check who it is. Someone enter the room and when I lift my head I found umma and appa standing infront of me.

 

UMMA: "Oh my God Jiyong! What happen to you?! You look so devastated. Did you look yourself in the mirror?"

APPA: "We heard what happen. Your umma ask me to pay you a visit. She's so worried about you."

UMMA: "Where's Chelle?"

GD: "I don't know umma." I said and breakdown on my mom's arms.

UMMA: "Jiyong-ah you cant blame her. She's been hurt! But I believe she'll come back. She loves you. Give her time."

APPA: "Your umma's right son! She'll be back. So go and fix yourself. You haven't shave. Look like you've aged."

GD: "Thanks umma, appa! She is my life and I don't want anyone in my life except for her. She's all that I need. She's all that I want."

UMMA: "Then fight for her. Win her heart back!"

 

Right after the talk I had with my parents, my spirit lifts up. I'll get her back!

 

I went to the bathroom, take a shower, shave and make sure I look good again. I walk umma and appa and thank them for visiting me. I ask YB for the thing I asked him to get in Chrome Hearts studio when he went back to New York.

 

I went back to our room and take a rest. YOU'RE MINE CHELLE! ONLY MINE! I will do everything to win you back.

 

I feel asleep with a smile and a hope on my face.

 

The following day everyone look at me puzzled.

 

YB: "Yo man! Glad you're back!"

GD: "Thanks guys for not giving up on me. Sorry I messed up! And SeungRi I owe you one."

SR: "It's okay hyung, don't worry about me. Just tell me if you need help."

GD: "Thanks Ri! Can I have Minho's number? I want to apologies to him for what I did."

TOP: "Alright! Let's rock MBC tonight!"

DS: "Hyung, do you want me to buy flowers for Chelle? Cake? Ice cream?"

GD: "Thanks Dae but I already have a plan."

GIAN: "Wow Jiyong wow! That's the spirit. If you have her back make sure you wont hurt her anymore. If you do, i'll help Ilwoo to win Chelle's heart."

GD: "Hyung, your girlfriend is ruining my mood!"

 

Gian tap my shoulders and give me a hug. I know she's kidding. We were preparing to go to our year end perf. I went back to our room to get her perfume then someone door bells. Gian went to her room while talking on the phone. SeungRi open the door and found President Yang standing in the door step. All of us look at each other at the same time. Uh oh! I'm dead!

 

The five if us sit in the couch.

 

PRES.YANG: "I like to talk to all of you. Where's Gian?" 

 

TOP pointed Gian's room and we watch sanjangnim enter the room. Gian went out and shrugged her shoulders when we ask about sanjangnim. After a few minutes he went back to the leaving room and give Gian her phone.

 

PRES.YANG: "You look well Jiyong, i'm shocked! I thought when I go here you will look so devastated and lost."

GD: "I feel energized sanjangnim!"

PRES.YANG: "Good thing! I just spoke to Chelle. She's in a very good condition."

GD: "Is she coming back?"

PRES.YANG: "I don't know, Jiyong! It's up to her."

 

I sigh! I hope she still loves me.

 

PRES.YANG: "What you did in that show is ridiculous!"

GD: "I'm sorry sanjangnim! It wont happen again!"

 

All of them look at me. I'm telling the truth! None of this nonsense will happen again. I will no longer hide our relationship. I wont take another risk to loose her in my life.

 

PRES.YANG: "If you do anything wrong, we will never help you again! Remember that!"

DS: "Chelle really loves you, hyung! So its your turn now to express how you value and love her."

GD: "I've decided not to hide our relationship anymore."

PRES.YANG: "Are you sure about that? I don't want any drama Jiyong! Like the one you did in London."

SR: "Omo! My poor laptop!"

 

Everyone laughs to what Riri said.

 

GD: "I already bought you a new one, remember?"

YB: "Chelle's been easy on you Jiyong."

PRES.YANG: "If I were her, i'll kick you in between your thighs when you told everyone you're single."

TOP: "Ouch!"

 

TOP hyung said while holding his precious one. As if he's been kicked. Gian slap his shoulders to stop what his doing.

 

TOP: "Why? It hurts so badly when someone kicks us there."

SR: "TOP hyung please stand up! I'll show Gian your expression when I kick you there."

 

TOP hyung stand up and said:

 

"Daesung, Youngbae hold maknae. Hon, i'll show you our maknae's expression when I kick him. Everyone count with me. Hana! Dul! Set!"

 

SR: "Yah! Let me go! Sanjangnim help me." He said while running towards sanjangnim.

 

We all laugh. Ri puts a pillow in his lap.

 

PRES.YANG: "All of you stop! Goodluck to your performance later. SeungRi I heard you bought a dog? I want to see it!"

SR: "My daughter is with her mom sanjangnim. Princess Panda is so beautiful. I'll bring her yo YGE next time."

PRES.YANG: "Okay! I have to go. I have a company to run. Take care and Happy New Year!"

 

When sanjangnim left, we all wait for manager Lee to arrive while teasing and bullying maknae.

 

When we arrive at the backstage, everyone is energized from us to the stylist, makeup artist even to the security team. I'm thankful that after how many days, i'm back! The legendary Kwon leader of Bigbang!

 

While waiting for our turn, me and the other members keep teasing each other. Taking pictures and post it to twitter or Instagram.

 

Everyone in our dressing room is just siting around.i notice that our maknae is keep staring in the mirror, making odd poses while saying "Why i'm so handsome?" "Mr.Pogi!" I just shake my head and try my very best to hide my smile.

 

"Bigbang members I need you in the backstage in 10 minutes." The floor director said to us.

 

I gather the Bigbang members and said:

 

"I'm thankful that I met the four of you. We are not just a group and we are not just friends, we are brothers not by blood but we're one. We don't need to belong to the same family but we are one in making music and giving people the best music. Bigbang is a group to beat. We excel this year so we have to double or triple our efforts in the year to come. More success and unbeatable Bigbang 2013!"

 

We hug each other and went to the backstage.

 

Again the performance was a blast. Girls screaming, banners waving, applauses and cheering heard all over the venue.

 

After the perf the group decided to go to the apartment to celebrate. We were in the parking area when I check on my phone. I hope she'll read it. I sign in my twitter and go online.

 

"Happy new year baby!"

 

After sending the tweet I saw Dae emerges from the elevator. I called him and ask one of the staff to take pic of us wearing the same jacket.

 

I twitted the pic again, put the phone back to my pocket while waiting for others.

 

Then suddenly my phone vibrates. I took it out again to check who texted me and found it was from Dami noona congratulating us on our performance and greeting me a Happy New Year! I texted her back and told her that the group will be in the pension tomorrow. I decided to read my mentions and was almost jump when I read Chelle's name on my TList.