“Class!” your biology teacher yelled. “Settle down!”

The chattering class that had been goofing off quickly quieted down. It was Friday and everyone was excited for the weekend.

“Good.” Mrs. Jung smiled. “Now take out your books and continue with yesterday’s lesson. I won’t be here for the rest of the period. If you finish, read the next section in the textbook and start on the questions. Remember, you have a test on the previous chapter on Monday, so make sure you do your review and study hard. Suho is here, so if you have any questions you can ask him and he will explain it to you.” She told the class. “Oh, and don’t give the supply teacher a hard time. If I receive any negative comments about the behavior of this class, then I will deduct 10 marks off your tests!” she threatened.

The class nodded and Mrs. Jung left, telling Suho that the supply teacher would arrive soon.

You quietly took your books out and Baekhyun did the same.

“Do you get what we’re doing?” Baekhyun asked.

“I think….” You replied, opening your textbook.

Suho was at the front of the room, helping the students there. He had breezed through 11U Bio with a 93%, so he was a great help to the class.

The supply teacher arrived and did what all supply teachers do: Tell the class to shut up and do their work. Then proceed to sit at the desk lazily, read the newspaper, and do the crossword.

“Hyung!” Baekhyun called. Suho looked at him from where he was standing. “I need help! Can you come here?”

Suho nodded and held up one finger, signaling that he would be there in a minute. Baekhyun put his hand down and smiled at you. “Hyung will be here to help us!” he said cheerfully, and then his tone turned into an annoyed one. “Our teacher just gives us textbook pages, tells us to read them, and then expects us to answer questions and understand the concept. Not caring that the textbook makes absolutely no sense unless we go through the lesson first!”

You nodded, not paying much attention. You let your eyes travel over the words, but nothing sunk in.

“What do you need help with?” Suho asked as he came to your and Baekhyun’s table.

Baekhyun asked his questions and you paid attention at first, but then couldn’t find the energy to continue. So you put your head on the desk.

“Get it, now?” Suho said after explaining the cell cycle (which he should have remembered from grade 10 science) to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun nodded and smiled. Suho turned to you and peeked at you anxiously. “Haerin?”

“Hmmm?” you mumbled as you opened your eyelids a bit.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Mhmmm.” You answered, opening your eyes completely.

Suho glanced at Baekhyun, who shrugged as if he was saying ‘What can I do?’

Suho decided he would just have to get the whole telling-Haerin-Hoya-had-a-night-job-at-BTD over with as soon as possible. Delaying it wouldn’t be doing him any favours.

Suho cleared his throat. “Ummm, Haerin?”

“Yes?”

“Um, do you think, uh could I…. talk to you for a couple of minutes at lunch?” he asked, fiddling with his fingers.

You gave him a confused look. *Suho wants to talk to me? Why?* But you nodded anyways. “Sure. But why?”

“Oh, just some, uh, stuff.” He said.

“Oooookay.” You said unsurely. *Weeeeird.*

“Suho oppa!” a girl’s voice called from the middle of the room. “I need help!”

Suho nodded and gladly went to her, avoiding any more questions from you.

You picked your pencil up and began reading through the pages. Nothing was making perfect sense, but you managed to write down a few nonsense answers to the questions. 

After a tiring 1 hour, it was time for Chemistry.

“I’ll see you in hospitality~!” Baekhyun said as he packed his things.

“Yeah.” You nodded and gave him a small wave as he left the class.

You slowly packed your things and got out of the class.

“NOONA!” a voice greeted you the second your foot stepped out of the classroom.

You jumped again, startled. Se Hun was standing there, looming over you and giving you his bright smile.

“Ready for your next class?” he asked. You nodded.

“Are any of hyungs in your chemistry class?” he asked, putting his hands in his pocket.

“Chen.” You said quietly.

“Ohhhh, Chen hyung is really good at chemistry. He likes it a lot, he told me he wants to be a Chemist.” He told you.

You nodded *I can imagine him doing that.*

“Nono, he can be a cheNist.” He said and then burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“OMG, CHENIST! PUAHAHAHAHAAA!” Se Hun clutched his stomach and you could see the water in his eyes. He would have collapsed right there in the hallway if you hadn’t steadied him.

“Don’t you get it noona?” he looked at you and was still giggling. “Instead of being a Chemist he should be a Chenist!” then he burst into some more hysterical laughter.

People were starting to stare but Se Hun didn’t seem to notice. You and Se Hun arrived at your Chemistry class at the same time as Chen.

Chen stared at Se Hun and then you, “What happened to him?” he asked, blinking.

You shook your head and Se Hun tried to string a sentence together. “H-Hyung! Y-You-PUAHAHAHAHAAA Sh-should PAHA be- HAHAHAA-a- HAHAHAHAHAHAAA CHENIST! PUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!”

Chen furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” You said. “Let’s go inside. Se Hun go to your- what do you have?- English class.”

Se Hun nodded and waved, still laughing.

“What happened to him?” Chen asked, as the two of you made your way to your seats.

You shook your head again and Chen shrugged, “I guess it would be better if I didn’t know why he was laughing so hysterically like that.”

You nodded in agreement as you sat down. The rest of the kids came in as the final bell rang. Ms. Choi entered and did attendance. Then she started the lesson.

Again, you spent the class with your head on the desk and playing with your pencil in between your fingers.

“You have a test next week.” Ms. Choi reminded the class two minutes before the bell would ring. “Prepare well, a lot of you are going lower and lower in this course.”

The class groaned. *That makes two tests* you thought as your remembered the biology test you had next week as well.

The bell rang and you put your untouched stuff back in your bag. Chen also put his notes away and the two of you left class.

“I’ll see you at our table. I have to talk to my math teacher before I go to the caf.” Chen said.

“Okay.” You replied as he went the other way. You started going to your locker when Se Hun appeared in front of you.

“Hey noona!” he greeted.

*How does he always find me?* you wondered. But you nodded at him.

“Let’s go~!” he said and went to your locker. You followed him and when you got to your locker, you held the lock.

But then you completely forgot your combo. It was the same lock from your old school, Infinite had gotten everything from it (including the lock) before you moved to Seoul High.

You stood there, and then looked at Se Hun.

“Er,”

Se Hun shook his head. “90-91-93.”

When he had said your combo, the flash of Hoya in front of your locker before he died appeared in your head.

"Er, my combo?" you asked, giving him a nervous smile.

Hoya shook his head. "90-91-93"

 The way Se Hun had shaken his head and had casually been leaning against the locker next to yours, was exactly the way Hoya had done it.

You let go of the lock and looked down, suddenly not wanting to even look at it.

“Noona, you always forget it! I’ve seen you stand here staring at your locker lots of times before!” he lightly bopped your head. He bent his head to your level and peered at your lowered head.

*Eh? Did I say something wrong?* he puffed his cheeks out a bit and decided to open your locker for you.

He opened it and you were still looking down. “Noona?”

Your head snapped up and you saw that your locker was open. “Oh, thanks Se Hun.” You put your books away and got your lunch.

“Haerin!” a voice called. You turned and saw Suho. He had been running so when he arrived at your locker he stopped to catch his breath.

Se Hun looked at him, “Hi hyung, thanks for acknowledging me.” He said sarcastically.

“Hey Se Hun.” Suho said. “Me and Haerin have to go do some…… biology review.” He told Se Hun. “So for like 10 minutes me and Haerin will go to the library and you can go to the others and tell them we’ll be there in a minute.”

Se Hun nodded, not catching the lie small mistruth. It was so easy to lie tell him small mistruths. He would never suspect a thing. Extremely gullible, as his friends and classmates put it. “Okay! I’ll see you guys later!” he waved and walked away.

“Are we really going to the library?” you asked, you didn’t have anything against libraries, but they were so quiet. They could be really eerie sometimes.

“We can go where you want to go.” He offered.

“Could we go outside? To the garden in the back?” you asked, you liked that place. Besides, it had hoyas.

“Ahh, so Se Hun took you there?” Suho smiled. “Okay, let’s go.”

You nodded and fixed the straps of your backpack.

“Soooo,” you looked at him. “What did you want to tell me?” *What on earth would Suho want to tell me? I’ve known him for like 2 weeks.*

Suho was starting to have second thoughts when a pin drop silence came between the two of you. He looked at your dark circles and the red outline of your eyes. He noticed you were pale and had this dead look in your eyes.

“Um, let’s get to the garden first.” He said, *No! You can’t chicken out now! This is going to go on forever, you have to tell her and get this over with!*

You shrugged and the two of you continued walking. When you reached the garden, you were once again mesmerized by the beauty of it. You made your way to the hoyas.

*Hi oppa.* you thought in your mind as you stared at them.

Suho stood behind you, but you didn’t notice. *Those are hoyas…….* he thought.

“Haerin.” Suho called softly. “Come, let’s go sit.”

You turned away from the hoyas and followed him to the benches.

You sat down, and suddenly there was a knot in your stomach. You started to wonder what Suho wanted to say that was so important.

“So, uh,” Suho played with his uniform *Hurry up! Tell her and get this whole thing over with!* “M-My dad owns lots of restaurants and cafes.”

You nodded and waited for him to continue. “He opened one in the area you used to live in. It’s called BTD, Before the Dawn.”

You nodded and your eyes rounded a bit in surprise. “Oh, really? I went there once, with-” before you could say his name, you bit your tongue and looked down.

“Yeah, so um, it’s a new café. It’s mostly open at night though.” He said. “And we hired young people to work there.”

“Oooookayyy.” You said, not sure where this was going.

“So, um,” Suho didn’t know how to put it. “I, uh. Um.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Okay, I’m just going to say it.” he took a deep breath. “Your, brother, Lee Howon. Hoya. You showed me a picture of him yesterday. Yeah, he worked there.”

You stared at him, but then looked away. “No, I think you have the wrong person. Oppa,” you took a deep breath. “Oppa worked at a CD store called Evolution.”

“Yeah, but he worked at BTD at night.” Suho said quietly.

Silence. Then you spoke, “No, I think you're mistaken. Oppa worked at Evolution in the day and slept through the whole night. He didn’t have some night-job. I think your confusing him with someone else. ”

Suho shook his head. “No, it’s your brother. You showed me the picture yesterday and that confirmed it. I’m sure I would recognize him, I saw him at least once a week.”

You stared at him. Then the flash of the time you and Infinite had gone to BTD went through your mind. You could see Suho’s face clearer now.

Suho continued. “He told me not to tell you. I didn’t know who you were or what you really looked like. All I knew was that Hoya had a sister, who wasn’t supposed to know about his nighttime job. He begged me to keep it a secret, so I did. Remember when you and those other boys came to BTD?” he asked.

You nodded, the blurred image of the man that owned BTD was now clearing up and Suho’s face was clearly visible.

“Remember how Hoya hastily stood up and took me away? That’s when he told me his job was a secret and asked me to keep it like that. And I did.” He said and then his voice went down a notch. “Then Hoya didn’t show up for a week, and I got worried. But I was caught up in school so much that I couldn’t do any investigating. So I asked the manager of BTD, Hyunki, to give me Hoya’s contact information. Then, you came along as Se Hun’s stepsister and I thought you looked familiar. But I passed it off as a coincidence. When I actually got a chance to read his emergency contact info, I saw your name. I still thought it was a coincidence, but it was bugging me a lot. Yesterday, at the business party, I noticed how you looked like Hoya so much. I wanted to confirm it and when I did, I didn’t know what to do. Hoya told me not to tell you, but now that he’s……..gone, I didn’t know whether I should tell you or not. Then I thought about how if I were in your situation, I would want to know. So I decided to tell you because you deserve to know, especially now that’s Hoya’s dead.” he said it really fast and he avoided your eyes.

Your mind became hazy as you processed all of that. It made sense now, why Hoya had suddenly become so tired sometimes and would just collapse into bed when he came home from school. Hyunki. You had seen that name before.

"Oppa! Can we buy a smoothie?" you asked. "I'm thirsty."

Hoya smiled and nodded. The two of you went into the nearest cafe and you got a mango smoothie while he got a mixed fruit one.
 

"Haerin-" Hoya was about to ask you about the necklace but then his phone rang. It was Hyunki. You looked at the caller-ID. *Hyunki? Who the heck is that?*

Hoya hastily picked it up and put the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
 

~Fast forwarding the flashback~
 

"Who's Hyunki?" you asked the minute he hung up. Hoya gulped.
 

"Oh uh. No one. Just a friend. " he replied. It wasn't a lie. He'd known Hyunki from before and had done him some favors before too.
 

"How come I've never heard of or seen him?" you inquired. Hoya closed his eyes *Damn, why must you be so curious and persistent?*
 

"You have. You probably don't remember though. Let's go eat burgers, you like those right?"

*So, that’s who Hyunki is. The manager of the café that oppa worked at in the night. The café he worked at as a second job because we didn’t have any money.* Your eyes were due for a nice washing, and now seemed like the perfect time as the guilt sunk in even more.

“H-Haerin?” Suho looked at you worriedly.

“Why.” You whispered. “Why did he work there and not tell me?”

“Well,” Suho looked down. “He said you guys were having trouble with money so he had to get a second job. He didn’t tell you because, well, he knew how you would react and he didn’t want that. He thought he was doing the right thing.”

You stayed silent as you glanced at the hoyas again.

“So let me get this straight.” You said in your normal voice. “Oppa got a second job without telling me. Moreover, he worked at night. He worked a second, night-job because we didn’t have much money. He overworked himself in his senior year, the most important year of his life. He told me we were doing fine when we were doing so bad that he had to go and get another job. He gave himself so much emotional and physical stress because he was trying to make ends meet for us.”

Suho looked down again. Then he took an envelope out of his uniform pocket. He put it on your lap. “This is yours now, I guess.”

You stared at it and gave Suho a tearful look. “Why didn’t he just tell me? I could have gotten a job.”

“He didn’t want you to work, he wanted to make sure you were completely focused on school.” He said quietly.

“School wouldn’t even be an option if we were having such big troubles that he had to get another job. He should have told me, I could have helped. I’m so stupid. How could I have been so naive that I didn’t notice he was working really hard and barely got any sleep? I'm so selfish. He was working so hard day and night, while I was getting my 8 hours of sleep and having fun. Actually, I did notice. I noticed he seemed more tired, and I noticed that he had a lot on his plate. But I didn’t do anything, I just thought it was the workload of school and carried on being a lazy, good-for-nothing lump. I let him carry the entire burden, I’m such a selfish brat!” you screamed as you felt hot tears spill onto your face.

Suho’s face went from worried to very worried.

“So he died because of me.” You whispered. “And when he was alive, he suffered because of me.”

“Haerin.” Suho said, patting your arm. “Haerin, don’t-”

“Thanks for telling me Suho.” You interrupted him. “I appreciate it, really. You made me realize what kind of a person I really am. You can go eat your lunch with your friends now. I’ll stay here.”

Suho looked at you, not sure whether he should leave you here like that. But he guessed you wanted to be alone now.

Feeling like a -as Lu Han would put it- bum, Suho picked his bag up and left you to be alone in your own world of dangerous thoughts.

 When Suho left you cried even more. It was a good thing that the garden was empty.

*I hate myself. I created so many troubles when oppa was alive, I’m the reason he’s dead, and now I find out that I was even more of a bother when he had been alive. * Your uniform was soaked now. *I’m so ugh. I disgust myself.  I don’t even have a right to miss him or regret. *

 You didn’t even bother wiping your face. *I just want my old life back! I don’t like any of this drama! * You sobbed even more. You spent the whole afternoon in that garden. You skipped your next two classes and spent your time crying, staring at the hoyas, and drowning in your guilt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hehehehehe, hiii~~~~ 

It’s been… quite a while, eh?

Déjà vu

 I really am sorry for not updating for like what, 3 weeks?

I guess it was like an unofficial hiatus.

December was busy~~~~~

But now the holidays have started and I’m going to update~!

 But it’s okay, cuz you guys had much better fics to read than mine, right? :D So I’m sure you didn’t miss me too much (:

 I did feel very guilty though.

 I don’t think there will be more “hiatuses” like that anymore.

 Onto the fic~!

I feel like this chapter is a bit…… meeeehh I dunno how to explain it.

It’s one of those chapters again, the kind I’m all :/ about.

 Tell me what you think though~

 Again, I’m not good at writing about how you feel when someone you love dies or whatever. So excuse me if it’s not good D:

 I’ll shut up now~!

BYEBYEEE~!

Remember to comment comment and comment~! :D

I’ll update soon~! I’ve even started on the next chapter =D

PS  I dunno why the top part isn't in colour O.O stupid computer -_-  but LOLOLOL OMG CHENIST! DID YOU GUYS GET IT?! OMG I LAUGHED SO MUCH. sorry if you didn't find it funny =P I did :D