Nothing could still stop you from getting there as fast as you could. Harshly you pushed other people who were in your way aside to get forward, not once did you look back and apologized. At this moment you didn’t care about all those people who shot you angry glares and some screamed after you that you had to look out where you were going, the could all go to hell. You dragged your legs with you since they were starting to feel heavy from all the running you had done already. Your lungs were burning and you had the desire to stop and to just sit down and catch your breath, but there wasn’t any cell in your body that let you do that. You couldn’t stop now, not now that you were almost there. If you would just go on for another five minutes then you were there and then you could stop. But now you had to do everything you could to reach that person that needed you the most right now, the person you had said of you would never visit again, but hey, times change right?
 

Kim Joonmyun had been your boyfriend for three years and you had been very happy with him. But two weeks ago he had broken up with you over the phone, giving you the excuse he didn’t have time to come to you and say it in person but that he did want to have this over with. You had been so hurt and you had felt as if he didn’t have any respect for you, if he didn’t even want to make any time to break up with you then what were you to him? You had told him that you hated him and that he was the biggest you had ever met. Also you had added that you had wished you had never dated him and that you even had never met him because then you would be much happier now. After a while you had started to regret saying those words but you had cheered yourself up by saying that he deserved it.

But now that you knew what was going on at this moment you wished you could take it all back. Because the words you had thrown his way during that phone call were probably also a factor that made him do this, and you couldn’t let it happen. Even though he had been a horrible man for dumping you like that you were sure he had an explanation for it, and you should have through about that sooner. Joonmyun would never let you down like this without having a great reason to do it and now you were going to find out what that reason was. You ran past the last turn and saw the SM building appear right in front of you. In pure horror you looked straight up, your neck hurting form how much you had to throw it back to see the roof of the building, that was how high it was. What you saw made you find the new energy to spring into the building, pushing all the buttons to make the door open, you knew how hard it was to get in here.

Fans who had gathered around the building spotted you, and of course the recognized you as the ex-girlfriend of their idol. You had never been able to stand each other very well, you had stolen their bias from them after all, but today’s situation seemed to change that. One noticed you having a hard time with getting in and she rushed to your side, helping you with opening the door. “Thank you!” You puffed and she nodded her head with a serious expression before pushing you inside. She was right, you had no time to lose and you had no time to waste. Joonmyun was waiting for you, well, actually he didn’t even know you were coming yet but that didn’t matter. After Kai had called you and had told you what was going on you hadn’t hesitated for one second and you had sprinted away from your work and had immediately gotten here. You didn’t care if he disliked you being here, if he realized it or not, he needed you.

As fast as you still could you began to run up all the stairs, why did this building had to be this bad and had it so many floors? You hated stairs but the elevator wasn’t an option right now, you would go crazy in that metal box. When you reached the last stair and the door to the roof, you pushed it open and almost fell on the floor from the power you had used. Some looked around to you and the members quickly let you through, some less important people were standing in the back, looking at the scene in horror. You ran forward, ignoring everyone, eyes only pointed at one thing, at Kim Joonmyun. You halted and lifted your head so you could take him in, his skin was pale and his eyes looked heavy like he hadn’t slept in days. In one word he looked horrible and you wondered how it possibly came this far? What had happened that the famous leader of exo had sank towards the bottom? “Myunie?” It only came out as a whispered and you were scared that he hadn’t hear you, but the cue nickname you had made up for him made him look down on with you with big and surprised eyes

You ignored the questioning look you could see in his eyes and focused yourself on which was truly important, of which was lying deep inside of his brown oceans. There you could see all the sadness, the tiredness and the hurt that had been building up inside of him, that had chewed on his insides and had forced him to stand here at this very moment. At the rooftop of the building of his company, at the edge, ready to throw himself off and to end it all. His eyes still hadn’t loosened from yours as they filled with tears and he shook his head. “You should leave, I don’t want you to see this.” He mumbled but you ignored him, no, he needed you right now so you weren’t going to leave. “Joonmyun baby, come back down and talk to me, hm? Tell me what’s wrong and I’m sure it can be solved.” This was the best suggestion you could give him right now but he didn’t take it and stubborn as he was he stayed where he was. You had never seen him like this before, he almost seemed depressed. In front of you he had always worn his smile but you had never noticed that it was a mask and that behind that he was hurting.

“You don’t have to do this Joonmyun-ah! Fleeing in the dead should never even be an option, the dead doesn’t solve anything! It only makes the people who you leave behind even more sad. Please come down and let us help you.” You wished you knew what to say and it made you frustrated that you didn’t know how to change his mind and to get him back to you, to make him want to live again. “Live for who? My member are all leaving me one by one and you hate me.” You could see his expression flinch in pain as he thought back about your break up and you quickly shook your head. Like you had said before, now you hated that you had said those things to him. “No, that’s not true! I was angry and hurt, I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t hate you for who you are, I hate you for pushing the love I feel away from you and for carrying all your pain by yourself. Your members love you and them leaving has nothing to do with you. You have always treated them much too well, you spoiled them and they should be very grateful for having such an amazing leader.”

Very carefully you reached out for his hand and grabbed it, but he tried to push it away. “Don’t touch me.” He wailed and that only made you do something very stupid. Everyone gasped as you stepped up the small stair he was on and with that made that you were only one step away from your own doom. Joonmyun’s eyes widened as he noticed what you were doing and his fighting against your hand stopped, one wrong movement and you would fall. “_-_______-ah…” He stuttered. “What are you doing? Get down!” He panicked and you smiled up at him while shaking your head. “I’m only going down if you’re going too.” The struggle was visible on his face and you placed your hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears that had streamed out already. It had been a while since you had been this close to him and your heart longed for him, he couldn’t leave you, you wouldn’t let him. Very slowly you took a step forward, closer to him and you could feel his hand tighten around yours. He was afraid that you would fall, he didn’t want you to fall, he still cared for you.

“Joonmyunie, I know that at this moment it seems as if everything is lost and it looks as if nothing can still change that, but that’s not true. Not everything in your life is bad but you’re wearing a black pair of glasses. The people who love you will help you to look through the other glasses again and they’ll be with you at each step of the way. Doing this will not solve anything, it will only make things harder. Don’t give up just like that but fight for it, fight to have your life back and fight to be happy again. Everything is going wrong right now but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain, or a little bit a lot of rain in this case.” A small smile broke out on his face as he listened to your words and it told you to keep on going, you couldn’t stop now. “I love you, and you can’t leave me. Do you know how scared I was when Kai called me to tell what was going on? Also, Kris and Luhan are completely freaked out and they took the first plane to Korean to meet you. You see, everyone loves you and no one blames you for anything, only for giving up. Now please get down and then we’ll talk about it, for every problem there’s a solution one that is much better than this one.”

Everyone waited in silence, holding their breath as Joonmyun thought about his answer. If he still wanted to jump now then you didn’t know what else you had to do to stop him, you had tried everything. When he looked up at you, your hear began to beat even faster than it already had been doing and you shot him a begging look. He let out a trembling sigh before intertwining his finger with you and nodding. “Yeah, let’s go down and talk about it.” He whispered and you heard the people around you gasp in relief, you had done it. Before he could change his mind you hopped off and pulled Joonmyun with you, who didn’t struggle this time and landed on the spot next to you. As soon as his two feet were safely onto the ground again you threw yourself into his arm, hearing him puff as he caught all your weight. Slightly you sobbed in his neck, loving the feeling of his arms around you. “Don’t ever do this again. We’ll find a way to get through this, just hold on.” You muttered in his ear and he nodded holding you tightly against him as you lifted your head and pressed your lips against his for a passionate kiss. His nails almost dug into your waist as he tightened his hold around you again and kissed you back. He pecked your lips once more before pulling away. “Thank you _______-ah, thank you for being here for me. I love you."