Rated M-18 : ual Scenes

"Haven't you ever gotten a ?" 

"Uhm, that's out of the blue," I said.

"Yes or no." 

"No." 

"Then give me one now."

Damn that seductive voice. It was so brazen. I mean, I know we had been married for a whole two years already but the amount of conversations we'd exchanged for the past two years could sum up to less than 100 lines? Not to mention each line that he spoke would be a less than 10 words. We didn't live like normal couple. We didn't eat together, talk nor went out on dates. Oh, but apart from the certificate that reminded me that I'm his wife, would be the hectic life we had. Not that I really mind, but sometimes, I really think that I'm being abused. I had never told anyone about this since our marriage was an arranged one and lots of people had their eyes on us and I was told not to ever disgrace the family. Hence, whatever hardships I'm experiencing, I could only swallow them down. 

Like every other time, we kissed a little and then I ed his pants and pulled his boxers down a little and pulled out his . I looked up at him, but didn't move, my face nanometers away from his .

"What?"

"I-It's big..." 

We usually did it at nights with the lights off and all so I couldn't really see anything. I didn't expect it to be so... big.

I wrapped my hand around it and put it into my mouth. 

Okays, I told a little lie just now. 

Of course, I did a before. Just... Not a very fantastic experience since I was still a novice back then and it was an experience that I wanna forget.

I started bobbing my head up and down along that length and his fists were clenched, body shaking and after a while, came his first of many orgams for the night. 

He didn't even bother asking or getting curious as to why I would know the methods even though I'd said I didn't. All I knew was I was pulled right back up and onto the bed, with his towering over me, nibbling and leaving marks on my body as he flicked the bedside lamp off. 

Honestly, come to think of it, we didn't even have much s and kissings involved. I was just being manipulated by him. 

Totally.

✺✺✺✺✺

The night dragged on and when I finally opened my eyes to the blinding sunrays, it was already noon. I felt sore and when I turned to my side, my expression softened. 

He was still soundly asleep, looking perfectly serene like an angel. A pang of warmth hit my heart as my fingers involuntarily reached out for his face, wanting to trace his delicate features. 

Kwon Jiyong. He's a dashing young man, let alone a rich one. Every single girl in this world would want him as a husband. Well, I happened to be the lucky (or unfortunate) girl who got him as a husband. I didn't have to work and all I do whole day long was to go around shopping and look pretty.

Oh, and to be ually attractive and be abused by him. 

Looking at his serene sleeping face, I didn't know how should I feel. He looked so innocent and vulnerable and I knew sometimes he really felt that. Being a young man of 26 years old, he's already the chairman of one of the listed companies Kwon Cooperation, a few hundreds employees' rice bowl at stake with his everyday decisions. But he never once showed it, at least not to me. Every day, he came home, bathed and plunged back to his workload in the study room until god knows what hour. If there isn't much work, he would workout in bed, with me. Whether I like it or not.

I know this marriage between us was an arranged one but... I love him. I really do. Hence, despite two years of not interacting much, I didn't want to leave him. I love him, and I still do. But... Should I stop? I feel so tired... Loving someone like him, was a blessing, but I'm beginning to lose my breath. Just like now. He's so close to me but he was wrapping his arms in front of his chest, as though protecting himself from everything. Including me. I never knew what he's thinking and I'm losing the battle already. I once thought I would eventually melt his ice heart with my determination. But it looks like it's never going to happen. 

Kwon Jiyong, have you ever loved me...

✺✺✺✺✺

I realised that I had enough. 

I reached up for my face and realised that I was crying. Yes, indeed, I loved him and would never be able to stop loving him but, it's true that I'm deadbeat. There's no point carrying on in this loveless game. I admit defeat. 

Determined Im Yoona could never overcome Kwon Jiyong the ice mountain. 

I got out of the bed carefully and tiptoed, making as little noises as possible. I got changed quickly and threw in pieces of clothings into the luggage. I was done packing in record of minutes. Before I left, I walked towards the bed and leaned in, planting a kiss on his forehead. 

"I love you, Kwon Jiyong..." 

He stirred a little but made no attempt of opening his eyes. Should I be glad that he'd always been a deep sleeper?

I walked away before my tears could fall on his face and left the room, leaving a short note for him before leaving the house.

I'm tired. 

✺✺✺✺✺

Just like that, a year passed.

Things were extremely hard at first. After leaving our house, I drove all the way (in tears) to the airport. I didn't know where to go, or where could I go. I checked the flights and chose the nearest departure time available. It turned out to be a flight to Los Angeles, thousand of miles away from Seoul. It would be a perfect getaway. I needed a break from Jiyong, from my failed marriage, from everything. I didn't think much and boarded the plane just like that. 

I was born an orphan but I had worked hard all by myself and before I met Jiyong, I was actually holding some mangerial position in his rival company. Under some fateful circumstances, I got to know his parents and before I could make sense of anything, I quitted my job and was stepping into the cathedral, getting married to Korea's No.1 qualified bachelor, Kwon Jiyong. Since I was an orphan, I didn't have to bother about worrying them and as for friends, I had little acquaintances to begin with, let alone friends. I only had a close friend since childhood and well, it just so happened that she had migrated to LA after her marriage and so I visited her and told her about my circumstances. I thought everything was going to turn out well. You know, a life without Kwon Jiyong. 

How utterly wrong I was. 

I felt like dying. Initially, for the first two days, it was all fine. My close friend, Yuri knew my troubles and she and her husband, Dong Youngbae, was more than happy to have me in their house. Yuri even showed me around, helping me to adjust to the lifestyle. I changed my phone number and was determined to cut off contacts from everyone and everything in Korea. 

But as time grew, I was lovesick, or whatever you called that. I could be reading for a moment and the next, images of Jiyong flashed across my eyes and out of no reason, I would burst into tears, scaring the hell out of Yuri and Youngbae oppa. Yuri told me that it would definitely hurt because I was totally in love with him and that time would heal everything. Youngbae oppa though, was putting in good words for Jiyong. He said that perhaps, Jiyong might be frantically looking for me now and I shouldn't have left without any words. (Actually, I did, I left that two-worded note for him. I know that didn't imply anything but hey! A note is a note alrights!)

Of course, that earned him slaps across his arms from Yuri. Oh, call it coincidence. Just like Yuri and I, Jiyong and Youngbae oppa are good pals since childhood and they had been in contact always. That's why Yuri told him to swear that he would disclose nothing to Jiyong if he asked. Not that he ever asked anyway. 

So, days passed and well, Yuri was right. Time would heal everything and months passed, I was picking myself back up. I told myself that I would be alright and life would go on even with Kwon Jiyong by my side. Getting back into the workforce helped me a little and even though every now and then, I would stumble something that would remind me of him, I moved on with a smile. I'd even began going on dates with some male co-workers who was interested with me but we never got pass the stage of a friendly peck on the cheek after they dropped me off.

Why? 

Because Youngbae oppa would act like a strict father, standing outside the door to wait for me every time I'd a date. It's pretty cute how protective he's acting and being afraid that Yuri would find out about his doings, he's found stupid excuses for himself. For example, every time I'd a date, he would coincidentally be watering the flowers in the yard or taking a stroll around the yard when I got home and before the guy could do anything, he would just shout for my name and that guy would bade farewell embarrassingly. It ended every time with a cheeky smile from him and I could only return with a chuckle and shook my head.

But on this day, he stopped me at the doorstep, grabbing my wrist. 

"Yoona, this would be the last time I'm doing this."

I looked at him, eyebrows raised. 

He didn't say anything thereafter. 

✺✺✺✺✺

I didn't give much thought to the conversation and returned to my room. I showered and sat on my bed. I noticed a SIM card on my table and walked towards it, picking it up slowly. Actually, it'd been there since forever. 

It just that I didn't have the courage to look at it. But I knew it was time. A year had passed and I should be brave enough to face this on my own. I replaced the card with my current one, and powered the phone back on, eyes closed.

Would it have thousand of messages? Or would there would be nothing at all? 

The latter sounded more convincing. Jiyong wouldn't have cared about my whereabouts. And even if he did, it'd been a year... He wouldn't have the patience to wait that long. 

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. 

It was the first prediction. 

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