March 2007

 

A beautiful day is happening in an urbanized area of Seoul. The blossoms of wild flowers signals the beginning of Spring and the students knows it's the beginning of another school year. Throughout the day, many students go about their usual routines. The usual re-bonding is evident as old friends and classmates rekindle friendships as the day goes on. 

 

And as the first day of school ends, the teenage pupils are looking forward to another fruitful and eventful year. All except one particular unkempt and nerdy student as she waited outside the school alone.

 

"Hey flounder face! Don't you ever get electrocuted with those massive braces of yours?"

 

A young boy teased as his friends chorused in laughter.

 

"Yeah, the freak seems to be all alone this year it seems. Guess your friend got fried huh, Weirdo!" 

 

The laughter and name calling continued on as the girl with mess-up hair with thick-rimmed spectacles and wiry teeth braces ignored them as usual. 

 

In fact it has always been like this for her ever since her parents died at the age of ten and have shut everyone else from her life. The once bubbly and perky girl became an unconfident, timid and meek person who keeps to herself. This is the reason why everyone finds her eccentric and weird to a point that they were always mean to her.

 

"Well, look at what we have here boys." Suddenly a trio of tall boys suddenly appeared in front her. It was the usual school bullies.

 

"Hey boss, looks like Im Yoona's missing her bodyguard friend." The other boy chuckled as Yoona bowed her head in fear. The bullies surrounded the bench where she was sitting and they continued to harass her.

 

"Yeah. Now its payback time. And this time around, the butch black pearl won't be here to save you now, geek. And I'm gonna take it out on you for the humiliation we received from her last year."

 

As the tallest boy readied his curled fists, a hand suddenly grabbed hold of his arms. A young boy, smaller than the trio was glaring at them with a force that caused them to step back in fear.

 

"Ji..Jiyong sun..sunbaenim!" One of the boys stuttered as Kwon Jiyong, the famous student stared down the three bullies with his usual cool and swag stares.

 

"Yah, why are you two cowering there. There is three of us and we can take..." The trio's leader suddenly found himself at the receiving end of a left hook. The punch was so fierce, the larger boy just got his lights out.

 

"We're sorry sunbae! We are so sorry!" The two other boys scampered away while dragging their unconscious leader.

 

Soon, everyone else left the vicinity as they caught Jiyong staring them down in cool anger. Yoona's look of fear turned to relief but that same relief disappeared when she caught Jiyong's cold stares.

 

"Yah, Im Yoona. How many times must I tell you not to let those jerks push you around like that. It's not everyday me and Yuri would be here to protect you."

 

"Mianhae, oppa. I...." Yoona, as usual fumbled on her words.

 

"Aissh! When will you stand up and fight!" Jiyong was now scolding her. "You wanna be like this for the rest of your life?!"

 

"I'm sorry, oppa. I'm so so sorry." Yoona's glasses was fogging with moisture as tears ran down her cheeks. It was bad enough she got bullied every day. It was worst when her oppa scolded her because of that. She doesn't like that. Not one bit.

 

After seeing this, Jiyong's expressions suddenly softened. He quickly took a seat on the bench and hugged her tight.

 

"Hey, come here my dongsaeng." Yoona's head rested on Jiyong's chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I just don't want people teasing my favorite little sister like that. You need not take flak because you are different. You should show them that you are a Kwon."

 

"But I'm not a Kwon, oppa. I'm never gonna be like you and Yuri-unnie."

 

The word "Kwon" has such a significant word for Im Yoona. After her parents died, Yoona was adopted by Kwon Boa, owner and CEO of one of Korea's largest business conglomerate, Kwon Tech Global. As an adoptive daughter, she also became the youngest sibling of Kwon Boa's children.

 

Kwon Jiyong and Kwon Yuri have always loved Im Yoona ever since she came into their lives. They affectionately call her "Yoongie" and they not only loved her as a cherished little sister, they were her best friends. In fact, they were the only friends Yoona had left after her parents died. Even though they showered her with nothing but love, Yoona always felt she didn't belong in their world.

 

"Yoongie of course you are a Kwon." Jiyong assured her. "Hey, the secret to being a Kwon is not about stature or being cold or mean. It's about good character and believing in yourself."

 

Yoona have heard this before. Yuri had always nagged her about this but this is the first time she is hearing it from him.

 

"Confidence is key, my Yoongie." 

 

Jiyong smiled as a pink gushing Yoona smiled back. That word "Confidence" was never in her vocabulary. No matter what other people say, it was a word insignificant to her. 

 

Until it came from his lips. Her Jiyong oppa said it.

 

To her, she has always harbored a special feeling towards him. Yoona's little secret was that she has a deep crush on him ever since she met him for the first time.

 

"There you go. That's my smiling Yoongie." Jiyong smiles were even warmer this time. "So what can I do to make you feel better?"

 

Yoona suddenly closed her eyes and pointed on her forehead. Jiyong knew what she wanted: a kiss on her forehead. To her, she finds consolation when her Jiyong oppa soothes her with that kiss. As the young boy smiles and positions himself for the kiss, Yoona had tears on her eyes once again. This time it was tears of joy.

 

"Yah, oppa! Why is Yoongie crying!" A tan skinned girl with jet black hair shouted as Jiyong and Yoona were startled by her shouts.

 

"Aissh! Kwon Yuri I was about to make my Yoongie feel better!" Jiyong scowled at his sister "And why are you here?! Isn't your new school in the other side of town?!"

 

"Yah, oppa she is 'MY' Yoongie too!" Yuri scoffed "I came here to pick her up because I couldn't trust you to look after her!"

 

Yoona just chuckled softly at the sibling's usual bickerings. Ever since she came into their lives, both Jiyong and Yuri were jockeying for Yoona's attention and affection. Of course Yoona tends to side with Jiyong more which makes the girl known to many as the black pearl beauty very jealous.

 

"Yoongie, is the idiotic Jiyong oppa been mean to you?" Yuri now has a concerned look.

 

"I'm okay unnie. And no, he wasn't being mean. In fact he protected me once again from the usual bullies."

 

Yuri now turns to berate Jiyong "Yah, oppa! See what you've done! If it wasn't for you it should be you transferring to that prep school and not me! Yoongie, you are coming home with me..."

 

Yuri was to about to reach for Yoona when Jiyong grabbed Yoona by the wrist and started dashing away, pulling her along.

 

"Merong! Yoongie is coming home with me!" Jiyong sticks a tongue to Yuri as the now fuming black pearl beauty gives chase.

 

"Yah! Kwon Jiyong, you give Yoongie back to me!"

 

Jiyong laughed maniacally as he and Yoona ran faster away from the pursuing Yuri. All the while, Yoona's face was blushing red because of the way her oppa was holding onto her hands so tight

 

✺✺✺✺✺

September 2007

 

Autumn is finally here and school has been hectic for Yoona. She may be weird, but she was one smart girl. In fact she has always been good with her academics and has been accelarated to the third year. Thus at a young age, Yoona will be graduating senior high school and was about to take the next step in her life.

 

All because of the one word she never thought would help her. Confidence.

 

That was what her Jiyong oppa said.

 

His word had sparked something inside Yoona that a new found confidence became the basis of everything in her everyday life. She started standing up against those catcallers and bullies and they were so impressed in the change of attitude, that everyone was starting to at least respect her. She even have her braces removed and was amazed that she could have such beautiful teeth when she smiles. 

 

And the Kwons were liking it too. Because she was acting like a Kwon for a change. Her adoptive mother Kwon Boa has never been happier and she hopes she would stay that way.

 

Still however, even with renewed confidence, Jiyong still protected her. His Yoongie was so precious to him that when someone tries to bully and again, he comes around to save the day. And Yoona loves how he protects her. This instilled inside Yoona that believing in herself was the key in helping her in life.

 

But her confidence could only go so far and there was one thing Yoona wasn't confident about. Her desire to tell her oppa her deep feelings for him. 

 

All throughout these past months, she has been pondering if she would have the nerve to confess her ever deepening feelings for him. It's pretty complicated because he was notorious for dating a lot of the girls in school. 

 

Still that childhood crush of hers has turned to something more. Much more.

 

Yoona is falling for her Jiyong oppa.

 

Yet she couldn't find the right chance to say it to him until it came when Jiyong just broke up with a fling just two weeks ago. Jiyong was planning to enlist into the army at school's end and desperation is now shifting into Yoona.

 

"This is the day, Yoong. You can do it." Yoona told herself while holding onto an envelope with a red heart shape sticker. Inside is a letter stating her feelings for Kwon Jiyong.

 

"I hope oppa wouldn't misunderstand." She sighed as she waited for him on the usual bench where they usually hang-out. She sat there waiting for him to come as the minutes passed by.

 

However, minutes became hours and still no Jiyong. The wind was getting colder as darkness began to descend.

 

"Maybe oppa is just busy." Yoona exclaimed with a pout. "Oh well, I guess I'll see him tomorrow then."

 

As she clutched her books and was about to set for home, Yoona noticed two people standing on the open field of the school. Curiousity got the best of her as she tried to probe why they were standing there in this cold autumn night.

 

Spazzing a bit, Yoona approached quietly and what she saw surprised her.

 

Her Jiyong oppa was standing face to face with someone as he grabbed the other person's hand.

 

"Taeyeon-ah, I have been crushing on you for so long that I couldn't hide it no more. So let me be bold and ask you a simple question: will you be my girl?"

 

The other person stood there in utter shock. She never realized that the most popular boy in school was confessing to her. She has been crushing on Jiyong since ever. And it's apparent Jiyong has been crushing on her for a long time too. And Yoona knows it as well.

 

Kim Taeyeon was the school president. She is everything that Jiyong has wanted for a girl. She is smart, pretty, bubbly and a bit of a dork. And she has one thing Yoona has been struggling to have a long time: an abundance of confidence.

 

Yoona was devastated as she saw it unfold. She just stood there frozen in her place, still clutching on the letter she was supposed to give to Jiyong.

 

Still unaware of her presence, the couple continued on with their romantic love. Yoona on the other hand quietly left the place and went home.

 

✺✺✺✺✺

 

So evening deepened inside the Kwon mansion. Yoona sat dazed and confused on a chair inside her room when Yuri barged in.

 

"Yoongie, you'll never know what happened to me today!" Yuri squealed in excitement. "Youngbae oppa finally confessed his love to me! Can you believe it?!"

 

Yuri continued on her spazz tirade, oblivous to Yoona's blank gaze towards her.

 

"..and you should have seen how cute that shy boy really is. If it wasn't for that idiot Jiyong oppa calling that he finally..."

 

Suddenly, Yuri stopped as she soon realized that Yoona was staring at her blankly.

 

"Yoongie, what's wrong?" Yuri then saw the envelope that Yoona was holding, and quickly discovered what it was.

 

"Omo, is that..." Yuri did not finished as her dongsaeng suddenly burst into tears. She was bawling and howling like she lost everything and was crying her heart out. Yuri quickly hugged her tight while Yoona finally realized that her oppa will never see her more than just her nerdy dongsaeng.

 

✺✺✺✺✺

February 2008

 

Yuri is standing in the waiting area of Incheon International Airport. The cold and dreary winter afternoon couldn't compare the emotions she is feeling right now. Recollections of memories have been pouring in her mind as these past few months have been a strain for her mentally.

 

It has been nearly six months since the revelation that her beloved Yoona has been harboring feelings for Jiyong. The once confident Yoona has reverted back to her timid and unconfident self. Ever since that night,she has been constantly avoiding Jiyong because she doesn't want to confront him about her feelings. 

 

Her brother, though happy with his relationship with Taeyeon, was likewise saddened with the way Yoona has been avoiding him. Even until his enlistment, he still doesn't understand why his beloved Yoongie was distancing herself away from him. Yuri wanted so bad to tell him but her dongsaeng made her promise not to tell.

 

And so Yuri just kept quiet about this. It's sad enough to see her brother enlisting to the army sad because of Yoona and it is even sadder to see her cherished Yoongie leaving for America lonely as well. And the saddest part was, Yuri was saddened to see Jiyong and Yoona drift apart like that because Yoona could not tell her feelings.

 

"Are you sure about this?" Yuri's voice was in an obvious sad tone "I'm sure omma would be glad to finance your schooling here in..."

 

"I'm sure unnie." Yoona did not let Yuri finish. "It has been my dream to study in America. And I appreciate everything that you and omma did for me. But if I am to make it in this world, I want to strike it on my own."

 

"But you'll be all alone in America? Who would protect you? I'm sure there are a lot of..."

 

"Unnie, please. I'm a big girl now," Yoona interrupted her again.

 

"But Yoongie?" Yuri wanted to cry. But Yoona gave her a smile and quickly hugged her unnie.

 

"I'll be fine unnie. I'm sure if I want protection I know you'll come to me right away."

 

Yuri gave her a smile. She couldn't hide her tears though as Yoona was crying as well. As they hugged there for while, Yuri couldn't help but let out her bottled up feelings to Yoona.

 

"If only you could have told oppa about your feelings, you wouldn't leave us like this."

 

"Anniyo, unnie." Yoona tried to give a smile "I wanted to leave because I wasn't meant for him. I just want him to be happy with his life."

 

"But how would you know if you don't try?"

 

"I'm sorry, unnie. I'm not ready yet." Yoona quickly smiled. "Besides, I've got you right?'

 

"Fine." Yuri playfully smirked as she let go of Yoona. 

 

"Hey, don't forget to call me every day. And be sure to eat lots of food because I don't want you to get sick. And try to find a guy there okay?"

 

"Neh, ahjumma." Yoona laughed as Yuri playfully slapped her dongsaeng on the shoulder.

 

"And one last thing Yoongie. I want you to be more assertive and confident. Stand your ground. Don't let anybody push you around. And try to remember that you are a Kwon, arasso!"

 

Yoona nodded like a child. She tried so much to tell herself that if she believe in herself she will achieve almost anything.

 

Almost.

 

Yoona knew she couldn't achieve all the things she wants. Especially the one thing she desires most.

 

And that is her oppa's love.

 

As Yoona waved goodbye to Yuri and made her way to the departure area, she couldn't help but think about what would have happen if she did try to confess her feelings to Jiyong. She knew that that if she did, there was a chance that the one thing she feared the most might happen.

 

Jiyong rejecting her love.

 

And so with a heavy heart, Yoona sets off to America to leave behind those precious to her and let fate decide on her path moving forward.