You are pacing steps by the shore, letting yourself get drown by the sound of the waves and the feel of the soft sand, crumbling on your toes. You’ve been walking back and forth for an hour and you felt yourself get tired which made you sit on the sand and place your notebook beside you, while you adjust your crumpled dress to make yourself comfortable on your seat.

You took a deep breath and smiled when you felt the sun radiating against your skin. You let the waves swallow your feet as you tried to write something on your notebook.

Well for you it is just not ‘another notebook’.

Each page compiles your bucket list and your reflections for the future. You’ve been writing on this notebook way back when you were just a kid, confined with the same disease

You don’t know that this little notebook of yours would live for a couple of years. This has been an evidence of your hardships as a child, being a sickly kid and all.

And now it’s here again.

And you want to re-write some stuffs yet leave some dreams that you wish to fulfil when you were young. Way back when you were innocent and gullible about your disease.

You dig in through the pages as you looked at your childish scribbles. What made you even smile more is how cute your handwriting was as a kid.

It’s funny how life is like a person’s handwriting. You vaguely knew that it changes drastically as time flies, either for better or for worst.

Each has its own difference no matter how hard we try to copy other’s handwritings. The difference is what makes us as a person. It is our own personality.

You suddenly stopped to a certain page. A torn page. The upper and lower part were missing, showcasing the crisp, jagged lines framing a phrase written in uppercase letters..

"I WANT TO TURN BACK TIME"

You heard a voice from the back making you shift your attention from the notebook to the culprit of your attention. You knew that voice.

It’s Woohyun’s.

"What is this?" He asked as he sat behind you, spreading his legs making a room for you to be welcomed by his enveloping presence.

"Uhh.. Some kid stuffs" You looked at him as your lips curled into a smile. You let the wind blow the strands of your hair as it conceals the tiny blush you have on your cheek.

"Kid stuffs, huh?" He raised an eyebrow as he looked at you before he shifted his attention on your notebook. "Can I read it?"

You bit your lip before saying ‘yes’. You don’t have a choice anyway because it’s not like he’ll stop there once you said ‘no’ because you know he isn’t as consistent as that.

He grasped the notebook and opened it to read its contents inside. You examined his face and you are bracing yourself for a taunt from him but all you received was a serious face.

He looks focused.

"Stop the time" He whispered as he tore his eyes through the notebook. He doesn’t give you any second glance making you feel nervous.

You grabbed the notebook from him and hugged it on your chest. You bit your lip and lower your gaze.

"Hey! Why’d you get that? I still haven’t finished reading it. Give it back" He shouted, with incontentment on his eyes.

"Well you’re not saying anything, I-" You stopped and looked at his expression. He looks sincere and reliable.

"Sorry.. It’s just, that’s not the kind of expression I’m expecting from you" You finally said.

He blinked softly, seemingly not getting what you mean. “What do you mean?”

"I-I mean this seems to be so childish. I thought you’ll laugh at this or something…"

"Laugh at what?" He chuckled softly. "Look if this stuff seems childish to you then for me it is not. This thing comprises who you are and this thing helped you get through the pain you were experiencing back then. And I’m so glad that you still have this thing around you after all the things that happened to you. That shows how much you really treasure this thing and you shouldn’t call something childish just because it was some old stuff, you used long ago.."

He cupped your face and said, “It’s cute..”. He smiled sheepishly, “I mean everything you wrote here is cute. It’s like I’m meeting the ‘young’ Wonhee. The fragile one. The innocent one”.

"Now if you would let me, Can I borrow this stuff for a moment? I mean this is just simply, amazing" He looks at you, hopefully.

You looked at him hesitantly for a moment and then at the notebook before you smiled at him. “Sure”

He held your hands tightly and smiled at you. He wrapped his arms around you before he whispered, “You know you should eat first. I am done preparing our lunch”.

His eyes traced your back as you started to jog inside the house. He looked at the page he stopped.

Your childhood bucket list

[] Dance with my dad
[] Spend a day with Chandoo
[] Make my family happy
[] Fly
[] Sleep under the stars and Wake up under the sky
[] Touch a real life star
[] Stop the time
[] Leave happy

Promise to myself:
No matter how sick I am, I swear I don’t want to die in a hospital

We’ll do this and fight this together. I swear Wonhee, I'm always here for you