® — Foolish Beauty
«ғᴀsᴛ ♦ ᴇᴀsʏ» ᴀᴅ & ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ ᴀʀᴄʜɪᴠᴇ
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Foolish Beauty
story link | Author Link
Review by: zogeumie
Title: 5 over 5
The title was unique and is very fitting with the story. It captured the very essence of the story. It’s quite catchy, too. It was the first one to come up when I searched for it :)
Poster & Background: 9 over 10
I love your poster! It looks amazing—I even had my sister rate it too and she said the same thing. I took off half a point however because you don’t have a background, which is not such a bad thing because your layout; the font style and colour, were very mild and pleasing to the eyes.
The other half point I took off was because of the tagline in the poster, the one behind Luhan’s neck: This is the price for beauty.
The grammar was off. It should have been between these two:
1) This is the price of beauty, or 2) This is the price you pay for beauty.
Description & Foreword: 9.5 over 10
There is nothing much for me to say, your description is amazing—except for some errors I spotted. Quoting Lao Tzu was a step to close in on your story’s theme. Using Belle and Ariel as well was a great way to really give out the gist of your story.
And you said that Sica is so beautiful… I totally agree! (I’m being biased, otl)
Plot: 35 over 35
I love it! That’s it—I love it. It had such a great start and it kept me guessing what the end game would be. I never thought that there would be murder (spoiler) and though I got the feeling that Luhan knew of what SuAh (or Sangchan) did, I held my horses and waited until you revealed it in the end. And you didn’t fail me! Again, I love it.
Flow & Consistency: 13 over 15
You have some points wherein you abruptly changes POV.
Ex. The sentence that killed Sangchan… (This here is in third person’s POV)
–a few more sentences in between-
…The three nurses rushed out of the room and left my mother standing there in shock. (Then this was written in first person’s POV, the word ‘my’ being the indicator.)
It had repeated a few more times over. (Refer to the end note of this review)
Reader's response: 4 over 5
Another great story undiscovered. I only saw two comments which was very saddening. I should have taken more points off but seeing that you
The title was unique and is very fitting with the story. It captured the very essence of the story. It’s quite catchy, too. It was the first one to come up when I searched for it :)
Poster & Background: 9 over 10
I love your poster! It looks amazing—I even had my sister rate it too and she said the same thing. I took off half a point however because you don’t have a background, which is not such a bad thing because your layout; the font style and colour, were very mild and pleasing to the eyes.
The other half point I took off was because of the tagline in the poster, the one behind Luhan’s neck: This is the price for beauty.
The grammar was off. It should have been between these two:
1) This is the price of beauty, or 2) This is the price you pay for beauty.
Description & Foreword: 9.5 over 10
There is nothing much for me to say, your description is amazing—except for some errors I spotted. Quoting Lao Tzu was a step to close in on your story’s theme. Using Belle and Ariel as well was a great way to really give out the gist of your story.
And you said that Sica is so beautiful… I totally agree! (I’m being biased, otl)
Plot: 35 over 35
I love it! That’s it—I love it. It had such a great start and it kept me guessing what the end game would be. I never thought that there would be murder (spoiler) and though I got the feeling that Luhan knew of what SuAh (or Sangchan) did, I held my horses and waited until you revealed it in the end. And you didn’t fail me! Again, I love it.
Flow & Consistency: 13 over 15
You have some points wherein you abruptly changes POV.
Ex. The sentence that killed Sangchan… (This here is in third person’s POV)
–a few more sentences in between-
…The three nurses rushed out of the room and left my mother standing there in shock. (Then this was written in first person’s POV, the word ‘my’ being the indicator.)
It had repeated a few more times over. (Refer to the end note of this review)
Reader's response: 4 over 5
Another great story undiscovered. I only saw two comments which was very saddening. I should have taken more points off but seeing that you
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