♦ With you. Always (C)
♦​ GukUp_ge

Genre: Fluff | Romance 
Main Characters: Kai | Krystal

She was weak, and fragile always crying.
He happened to see her weakness, embrace her fears, and wipe away her tears.He had never noticed her or knew her name, until that day.He looked only at her, and mesmerized her name.

Title: 4.5/5 

Your title isn't that unique but it's not common too. It really fits the story so four and a half points for you. 

But maybe you should do it like this... 

With you, Always. 

I dunno, I just think it's better xD Just a suggestion! ^^ Don't feel pressured into changing it. 

 

Poster and Background: 5/10

It's a good thing that you have a poster but I feel that it's lacking. (No offense.) 

It screams drama and romance but not fluff... I guess what I'm saying is, your poster could look a lot better. You should also get a background. 

These two things are very, very importants. 

Here are some shops that I highly recommend:

♦ IceCream Graphics 

♦ Chocolat Poster Shop

♦ Dark Heart Graphics

 

Description and Foreword: 4/10

Your description is very eye catching but it has wrong grammar and spacing. Even if it seems interesting, some readers might not check it out at all.

I will show you an exact replica of your description. (lol, this was hard... It didn't allow me to copy paste)

She was weak, and fragile always crying.
He happened to see her weakness, embrace her fears, and wipe away her tears.

He had never noticed her or knew her name, until that day.He looked only at her, and mesmerized her name.

Here is a revised version: (This is just a suggestion. You don't need to do it like this.)

She was weak and fragile... always crying. He happened to see her weakness, embrace her fears and wipe away her tears. 

He had never noticed her or knew her name until that day... He looked at her and mesmerized her name. 

And here is an exact replica of your foreword. 

" You are pathetic" he chuckled eyeing her up and down " look at yourself, crying like a baby because of a jerk" he looked at her disgusted, feeling stupid.
"You really didn't know he was cheating on you from the first!" he raised his voice in anger. She kept crying while listening to his harsh words.

" i said stop crying... Its already over " his voice went louder making her shiver more, she kept crying.He messed his hair in frustration, he got tired and he doesn't know why is he with her now listening to her sobbing and crying over that jerk.

They aren't close friends she is just his classmate, and they barely talk to each other but as he looked into her eyes he can feel the pain in her eyes, she looked miserable.

He sat on the bench beside her and hugged her; a friendly securing hug."You'll be ok... You are a strong girl... Lets go" they walked together, under the same moon, in the same path.

Here is a revised version: (Again, just a suggestion.)

"You're pathetic," he chuckled, eyeing her up and down. "look at yourself, crying like a baby because of a jerk." He looked at her disgusted, feeling stupid.

"You really had no idea that he was cheating on you from the start!" he raised his voice in anger. She kept crying as she listened to his harsh words.  

"I said stop crying. It's already over." His voice went louder, making her shiver more. She kept crying causing him to mess up his hair in frustration. He got tired and he doesn't know why he is with her now, listening to her sobbing and crying over a jerk.

They aren't close friends... she's just his classmate and they barely talk to each other... but as he looked into her eyes... he can feel the pain that she was feeling. She looked miserable. 

He sat on the bench beside her and hugged her, a friendly securing hug. "You'll be okay... you're a strong girl... Let's go..." They walked together, under the same moon, in the same path. 

And then use a paragraph divider to divide your author's note from the story itself :) 

 

Plot: 28/35 

The plot is really cliche. I've read many stories with the same plot as this. No worries though! You're only starting so you could add plenty of twists later.

 

Flow & Consistency: 7/20.

I think that you rushed things. I wished that you could have shown more KrisTal moments and how Kris starts paying attention to her less. Jongin would notice but would figure that it isn't his business so he'd stay out of it. 

Kai's interest in her is too sudden. So he see's her crying, that doesn't mean it changes anything. I guess what I'm saying is... Kai should have been more uncaring and stuff. Then he would feel guilty every time he would see Krystal sad and then eventually, it would eat him up and he'd approach Krystal himself. 

Your font isn't really consistent. Your font in chapter two is different from the other chapters. Also, you sometimes use the horizontal line and sometimes you don't. 

I really suggest the use of paragraph dividers to emphasize that the scene has changed. Not only will the readers understand that it's a different scene, it will also add design to the story. 

 

Readers responses: 3/5

You have 4 up votes, 10 comments and many subscribers. Good Job! ^^

But still... it needs more responses and fans. Visit ad shops or you could advertise this story yourself. 

 

Gram