“I can’t believe it’s already been 100 days since you’ve been married,” I said.

We had just finished watching the episode of WGM where they celebrated it. They were so cute the whole episode too I almost couldn’t handle it. Holding hands, feeding each other, Sooyoung even prepared an event for her where he serenaded her with a guitar. Waah~! Who knew that he could even play guitar, because I for sure didn’t!

Damnit! Why couldn’t Taeyeon and I have been on that show? Ugh! At least something good came from it though. I looked at Sunny, who was typing away on her phone.

“Is that Sooyoungie?” She hummed. “You like him.”

“What are you even talking about? It’s for the show Tiff.”

“Uhhhuh. He likes you too, you know.” I saw her hesitate in her movements. HA Lee Sunkyu! You’re caught!

“Whatever, just shut up and watch the show.”

I grinned as I excitedly turned back to the television. The episode of Invincible Youth TYS was on aired tonight as well. While I was excited to see Taeyeon being a dork, I was even more excited to see how Sunny and Sooyoung interacted with each other while not on WGM.

The show opened up to show Sunny and Amber riding on donkeys. I laughed aloud. “Sunny what the hell?”

“We were exercising them.” I was still laughing. Omo, that was just so random.

“Yah, tell Amber to be careful, she just got cleared with the doctors not long ago.” I totally forgot about her injury until right now.

“Tiff calm down we were like a foot off the ground, see,” she nodded toward the screen. It cut to where the girls were now all being crazy and talking to the hosts.

“Sunkyu-yah. How was America,” Shinyoung, the MC asked.

“It was very exciting. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here though.”

“Ah, ne we missed you a lot,” Boom chimed in. “Some more than others,” he pointed to Shinyoung.

“Ne, but to make up for me being gone I brought some friends today.”

“Friends?” “Guys?” “Idols?” The other girls shouted out. I began to get excited too, I loved watching Taeyeon on variety shows. He was always so funny, even when he wasn’t trying to be. Sunny called for the boys to come in and all we heard was an ‘annyeonghaseyo’ followed by gasps and oohs from the other G7 members.

“Why are they here,” I heard Yewon of Jewelry ask. She started fixing her hair too. In fact everyone there was in sort of shock, except for Sunny and Amber. Bora from SISTAR wasn’t too overwhelmed, but she still seemed a bit flustered. “Jinjja, you should have told us,” she called out again. I grinned.

I was sort of proud? I’m not sure if that’s the right word for it, but it felt nice to know that my boyfriend made other girls act that way. At the same time, they needed to stop right now because it wasn’t going to happen, but, I took a deep breath, it still felt good. For now.

“Ne, TYS is here! Since you’re all here let’s start off by having you sing a song,” Boom cried out.

They did so, while the camera kept showing the girls reactions. That Suzy girl looked a little too happy when Taeyeon was singing. Ugh. She was cute too. I told Taeyeon not to tell me what happened the day of filming because I wanted to be surprised, but I’m definitely regretting that now.

“Yah, Sunny. Does Tae get paired up with that Suzy girl?”

“I don’t remember. She wasn’t in my group, I was with Soo.” My eyes grew again. Ooooh!

“Jinjja?”

“Oh shut up.” Applause rang from the TV.

“Besides Sunny and Amber our G7 isn’t the same today, everyone’s so shy. I’ve never seen them this quiet.”

They then went on to tell them that the mission today was going to be a cooking challenge, something to do with clams? I’m not too sure. They were just getting to the part that I cared about the most though.

“Today it’s going to be one TYS member and two G7 members,” Shinyoung explained. “We’ll be-“

“There are seven of us though?”

“Ne the one that doesn’t get picked will be on a team with Shinyoung and I,” Boom explained. “So we’ve prepared a game. Wood splitting,” the two MCs called out at once. “The member who can chop the log in half in the least amount of will be the winner.”

“Oh god,” I said aloud. “Taeyeon failed right?” It’s not that he was weak, he just wasn’t necessarily strong. At least not compared to Sooyoung and especially Yuri. They were both pretty muscular if I remember correctly, and I did.

“You’ll see~,” she called. Gosh, I seriously hate you right now Lee Sunny. You can’t even tell me one thing. Ugh!

“Alright let’s start with Taeyeon,” the MC called. Uh oh. Boom brought out a log as Taeyeon picked up the axe.

“Now, TYS’s fate depends on this,” Shinyoung joked.

“What are you talking about,” Sooyoung pretended to argue. “Why is our fate on this log?”

“This is very important,” Boom kept the joke going.

“Our fate’s on this,” Taeyeon asked softly.

“Ne, record sales, popularity…”

“Well sorry guys,” Taeyeon said toward s causing everyone to laugh.

“Very well, now G7, if you want to be on his team, before he goes to chop the wood call out a fighting for him. We’ll do that for all of them. Got it?” A round of yesses were heard. Good. This is what I needed to see.

He lifted up the axe and then I heard multiple voices call out ’fighting.’

“Hold on , hold on. Wow! Four of the seven members just said they wanted to be on your team, how does that feel?” He laughed.

“It feels great,” he said as he grinned. That punk!

“So we have, Woori, Jiyoung, Suzy, and Yewon, that all called out for you...” I stopped paying attention for a minute.

“Yah, why didn’t you want to be on Taeyeon’s team?”

“Because I didn’t care what team I was on? I didn’t call out for any of them.”

“..Ohh!” I turned back and it looked like his axe got stuck in the log. Aw, poor baby. I pouted.

Sooyoung then got it on his first try. Aish… Yuri’s axe got stuck as well though, so I didn’t feel too bad.

A few minutes later they were finally picking teams. Sooyoung, picked the two obvious choices, Sunny and then Amber, but I knew that was going to happen, I was more worried about the next person. It was Taeyeon’s turn.

“Alright Taeyeon, all four girls that cheered for you are left, who are you going to pick?”

Please pick Bora, I repeated in my head. At least I knew she wasn’t a threat.

“Uhm, since she was the first person to cheer for me, I’ll pick Suzy-ssi,” he paused. Damnit Taeyeon. The one girl I didn’t want you to pick. ”and Jiyoung-ssi.”  I guess I was alright with that one since I knew Jiyoung was too innocent to try anything. I don’t know much about Suzy though. MissA has only been debuted for a few months, so I don’t think I’ve even met her yet. Not that I can remember at least.

Yuri then picked Bora and Woori, who he got really shy in front of. It was actually kind of cute. Thank god Jess wasn’t here she would have thrown a fit.

The next ten minutes or so consisted of them digging for clams, which by the way looked disgusting. Taeyeon’s group then started sneakily going around and stealing everyone else’s clams. It was really funny actually. I couldn’t stop laughing at him. He and Jiyoung seemed to get along well together though, I figured it was because Jiyoung was still a kid and Taeyeon acts exactly like one.

They then played a quiz game to get more ingredients for their dish they were making later on. Suzy and Jiyoung had started to playfully argue about an answer when Taeyeon spoke up causing everyone to laugh.

“I’m going deaf. Wah~ they’re so scary,” he called out as he threw his hands up. “So violent!”

“Ahh,” Boom called. “Taeyeon-ah is scared of G7!”

The rest of the show was just as funny. Taeyeon and Jiyoung kept up their antics of stealing and bartering for ingredients, while Suzy stayed sort of quite. She did get pretty excited though when she fed Taeyeon a bite of the food they were making. Taeyeon didn’t seem to notice her blushing though, which made me happy.

The more interesting thing for me to watch however was Sunny and Sooyoung. I guess Amber had to leave about half way through, because it was just the two of them cooking. I could tell that she was playing up her cuteness for the show a little bit, but I could also tell that she was genuinely enjoying it.

I guess that’s what I get for knowing her for so long. I could tell what she was feeling based off her actions and reactions, and she definitely was feeling him. The way she kept playfully hitting him and laughing at the silly things that he said, and since it was Sooyoung that happened often. Yeah some of it was fake, but I could tell that she liked him. I don’t know why she still wouldn’t admit it.

The last fifteen minutes of the show was just the judging of the food, where there was no surprise. Sooyoung took first and then Taeyeon came in a close second. Yuri’s team however… Let’s just say they made fun of them for a while.

And just like that, the show was over. “Sunny-ah, I hope the fans screen captured you and Sooyoung making that heart when you displayed your food,” I teased.  I did really hope so, though. They were so cute. Aish!

I’m also just really glad that she’s not clinging on to Hyomin anymore. Ugh, I never did see what she saw in the guy. Okay, maybe he was slightly, very attractive, but other than that, he has nothing.        

“Tiff, how many times do I have to tell you? I was only acting that way because of We Got Married.”

“Oh shut up Sunny, you know you two like each other for real,” I argued. To my surprise however, she didn’t argue back this time. I smiled. “Do you want anything to drink? I’m thirsty.” I started toward the kitchen.

“Sure, get me orange juice.” Good that’s what I was getting too. I smiled and got two cups from the cabinet.  Opening the fridge I saw that there was just enough orange juice for two cups too. Woo! My lucky day! Thank goodness no one else was here today.

“Hey Sunny, when is the grocery ahjumma coming?” Every week or so there is a very nice lady who goes grocery shopping for us since we obviously can’t and our manager is usually busy with us. It’s not just us though; everyone under SM has someone that does it for them. The same lady that buys ours also buys for f(x) since our buildings are so close.

“Tomorrow or the next day I think? Why?”

“We’re out of juice,” I said as I held up the container. “I’ll text oppa and tell him to add it to the list.” I pulled out my phone looking for our manager’s contact. 

Text Message
To: Manager Oppa

Oppa we need juice too. Don’t forget to tell ahjumma!

I went to hit send but stopped.

“Sunny-ah, are we out of anything else?” I might as well just make another mini list for him while I’m at it, I thought.

“Uhm,” she paused. “Tell him to get more fruit this time, we ate the last bunch so quick.”

“You mean you did,” I teasingly accused. “I think you’re totally picking up traits from Sooyoung.”

“I know,” she laughed. “I think I’ve started to gain weight too.”

“Anything else,” I asked while still laughing.

“Not that I can think of.”

“Oka-“

“Oh,” she interrupted. “Tampons, we’re almost out and mine just started.”

“Oh right. That’s a good one.” I typed in my phone as I started thinking about it. Damnit. Mine was about to start too I think. I hit send. Ugh, now this was going to bug me.

“What day is it?”

“The twenty~……fifth,” she elongated her words. “Yep, the twenty-fifth I just checked.”

Okay so if today is the twenty-fifth and my last period started on the… when did it start?

It was definitely before we went to LA. It was before the concert in Seoul too though, but that was over a month ago. Oh. My. God. All the air seemed to have evacuated my lungs completely. It can’t be. No, I wasn’t.

“Sun-Sunny-ah,” I questioned. She hummed, still focused on the television. “It’s normal for your period to be late right?”

“Of course. Since we’re always under so much stress I’d be surprised if it was normal,” she laughed. “Or your pregnant,” she said as she laughed even harder.

There it was. The words that I did not want to hear. Everything around me seemed to slow down as I took a quick seat at our kitchen table, for I didn’t think I could stand up much longer. I felt weak. I felt lost. I can’t be pregnant. I moved a hand to my stomach. Could I be? Oh my god. What if there was a little… thing, in there right now? No. it can’t happen. It’s not going to happen. You’re just late Tiffany.

But what if? Oh my god. My breaths were short.

I ruined everything. SNSD is ruined. I’m ruined. Oh no. Even my Taeyeon is probably going to be ruined.

Oh, Taeyeon. Just thinking about him made me feel better, but at the same time it made my heart hurt a little. I felt tears b in my eyes. What would he say about this? Would he still want to be with me after this? After I ruin his career that he loves so much. Oh no, I can’t lose him. I put my hands over my face. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Why was I so stupid? I should’ve made sure we used protection. I am so freaking stup-

“Tiff, oh my god.” Sunny was by my side. When did she get here? “What’s wrong Tiffany?” She was bent over beside me now caressing my back. I couldn’t tell her. No, I had to tell her. If I was, she’d obviously find out anyway in a couple of months when... when.

Oh my god. I’m going to get fat. I cried even harder, wrapping my arms around Sunny.

“Su-Sunny-ah,” I tried to talk, but I couldn’t.

“Seriously Tiff, you’re scaring me. Is it your mom’s birthday? Do you want me to go get you a bowl of ice cream? I think we have straw-“

“Ani,” I said cutting her off. She was trying to cheer me up and she didn’t even know that I could have just ruined our career. I had to tell her. I moved back and took a seat once more so I could look at her face. “I…I’m….” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word, I quickly found an alternative. “My period is… is late.”

She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. “Oh jesus christ Tiffany you really had me scared. I thought it was something serious.” She took a seat next to me. “Like I said before, stress really affects that kind of thing for us. Flying around these past weeks probably didn’t help either.” She put a hand on my arm. “And plus you actually have to have to get pregnant Tiff,” she teased.

Oh god, I really should have told them. I don’t know why, but I decided to keep it to myself that Taeyeon and I had finally taken the next step. I figured there would have been non-stop questions about it. They didn’t really need to know did they? Well I guess they do now. I closed my eyes.

“I know.”  I heard her gasp and her grasp tightened on my arm.

“You didn’t?”

“I did,” I admitted.

“Stephanie Hwang Miyoung! And you didn’t think to tell any of us about it?” I opened my eyes to find her staring back at me very intently. “Well?”

“Well what?” She didn’t want me to give her the freaking play by play here and now did she?

“How was it?” She laughed.

“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe this was happening right now.

“What? I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine Taeyeon putting it to anyone,” she laughed again.

“Yah! Don’t you think we have bigger issues to worry about,” I questioned. I still didn’t know what to do about this thing that might be in me.

“Oh , You’re right.” Her face changed completely. “You used protection right? You shouldn’t be worried about it if you di-“

“We didn’t.”

“Tiffany! Seriously?” I weakly nodded. “How could you be that stupid?”

“I don’t know Sunny! I was caught in the moment and I didn’t even think about it.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Well, it was only once so there’s still a good chance that you-“

“Uh,” I interrupted.

“Oh my god are you kidding me? Twice then?” I shook my head. “Three times,” she asked with her eyes wide open. I held my hand up with the right number as I looked away. “FIVE? I mean, ahem, five times?” I hummed. “You were gone for three days Tiffany good grief.” I shot her a glare. “Right. You didn’t use any protection at all? Ever?” I shook my head ’no.’ She let out a deep breath. “Were going to have to get you one of those tests, you know? The ones you do at home.”

I appreciated all the help I could get right now, but we obviously couldn’t do that.

“Sunny, neither of us can go out and buy that. Tomorrow’s headlines  ‘SNSD buys pregnancy test’ I can see it now.”

“Damnit you’re right. Should we tell oppa?”

“Even worse. He would literately kill me, or tell your uncle and I’m not sure which one is actually worse at this point.”

“You’re right.” She stood up and started pacing a bit. I really had no idea what do to. I mean I guess we could go to the doctor, but my manager was allowed to see my results, and the fact that if I was tested it would probably show up shot that idea right out of the sky. “Ahha!” I jumped from her sudden outburst.

“What?”

“Taeyeon.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Let’s give one more round of applause to Taeyeon-ssi and Sooyoung of TYS for being here today,” the MC said.

“Ne, thank you so much for having us,” I replied. “Next time we’ll be sure to bring Yuri with us.” He couldn’t be here due to filming yet again. It was a good thing we were done promoting ‘No Other.’ He was our visual after all.

With a few more bouts of applause the ‘On Air’ sign turned off and we were done. Whew!

“Thank you for your hard work,” I repeated to all the crew members I saw on the way out of the studio.

“Good job out there boys,” Hyung complimented as we stepped in the elevator. “Your fan base has seriously grown so much. The questions were coming in by the thousands.”

“Jinjja?” That was crazy to even think about. He hummed. “Wow. That’s amazing. Oh hold on.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket just as we stepped out of the elevator. “Yeboseyo?”

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany’s voice was soft, but that might just be from all the fans that were waiting outside the station’s yells were drowning her out.

“Hold on a second, I can’t hear you very well, let me get in the van.” I quickened my pace, trying to get Soo and hyung to hurry as well. Swiftly taking my seat I pulled the phone back up to my ear again.

“Okay, I’m in the van.” No response. “Fany?” She hummed. Crap, was she mad? Why could she have been ma- Omo. “I didn’t encourage Suzy at all. I promise.” I had totally forgotten that IY2 aired tonight.

Suzy wasn’t even that flirty, she was more so awkward with me, which made it seem like she liked me even more I guess. That’s what Sunny said at least. There were a few things that she probably wasn’t too happy about, one of them being Suzy feeding me on multiple occasions, but I couldn’t deny it. One it would have been rude, and secondly in variety shows I was always taught to just roll with whatever happened. Obviously don’t let it get too out of hand, but that was meaningless. To me anyway.

“A-ani. I don’t care,” she replied. Her voice was still weak. Hmm so it wasn’t the loud crowd.

“Are you sick Fany-ah? Do you want me to come over with food? I can bring Soo so it won’t be suspicious.”

“I-I’m not sick, but can you come over? Sooyoung can come too.” She sure did sound sick, well maybe not sick, but off?

“I’ll see, Hyung can-“

“I need you to stop somewhere and buy me something first.”

“Uh, okay…” She was being secretive and I didn’t know why. I kind of hated it actually. “What do I have to get?”

“I can’t tell you yet. Just call me when you get a car. Your manager can’t come. I love you.”

“Tiffa-“ I heard the phone click. Moving mine away I saw that she hung up on me. What the hell?

“What was that about?”

“I really don’t know,” I replied. “Hyung, can I borrow your car again?”

“What is it? I can just drive you while were out.”

“Aniyo, I have to do this alone. Well, Soo you can come too.” I still wasn’t sure why though, what am I a spy? I laughed to myself. This totally seemed straight out of a movie though. Next I would have to go pick up a secret package or something right?

“I guess. Just be back in the dorm by 11. I’ll have the doorman report to me. Yuri doesn’t have to film tomorrow so we’re going to be recording all day. Arasso?”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“ he’s calling!”

“Answer it then idiot,” Sunny snapped. I didn’t move. “Ugh,” she snatched the phone out of my hand. “Yeboseyo? Ne, she’s right beside me. Want me to tell him,” she asked as she moved it away from slightly.

“Ani!” I jumped up and grabbed my phone from her hands. “Taeyeon-ah?”

“Fany, what’s the matter? What do I need to get?” I exhaled. Here goes nothing. Ugh, he sounded so concerned too.

“I need you to get apregnancytest,” I said quickly.

“What was that? I couldn’t understand you.”

“A-a pr…pregnancy test Taeyeon.”

“What,” he shouted. Oh god he was angry. “Are you, are you serious?”

“Yeah,” I said trying and failing miserably to fight back the tears again. He totally hated me now.

“O-okay. I’ll be there…I’ll be there soon Fany,” and just like that he hung up. I lost it. Letting my phone drop to the ground I laid face down on the sofa.

I have seriously ruined everything. “I ruined it all.”

“You haven’t ruined anything yet Tiff. We don’t even know if you are or not.” She sat beside me and caressed my back again. There were too many things going on in my head right now, I didn’t even know where to begin thinking. My brain flashed to the call that just happened and to Taeyeon’s loud voice as my stomach dropped again.

“He was mad.” I sat up again and leaned against Sunny. I needed to be held. Taeyeon was obviously preferred, but Sunny was next in line.

“Taeyeon?” I hummed. “I doubt it. He was probably just shocked. How would you react if your girlfriend called and told you to pick up a pregnancy test,” she laughed. I shook my head though.

“You didn’t hear him. He sounded so upset.”

“It’s fine Tiff, we’ll see once he gets here. Drink this.” She handed me a giant cup of water. I seriously didn’t even know we had a cup this big in our house.

“I don’t want to.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Yah, what took you guys so freaking long,” Sunny asked as soon as she opened the door. “We talked to you an hour ago!”

“Sorry,” Soo started. “It took us like forty minutes to find a store where the cashiers weren’t young. We finally found a tiny supermarket outside of town that some really nice ahjumma ran,” he explained. Which was true, we couldn’t have anyone recognizing us either. It would have been catastrophic for SNSD to be seen buying one, but it would still be pretty bad for us too. “We bought snacks at all the failed stores thought, want anything?”

“Shut up Soo, where is she?” I didn’t see her welcoming us.

“Sofa. She cried herself asleep.” Another punch came to my stomach. If all of this wasn’t already bad enough, now my Tiffany was crying like that. ”She thinks you’re mad at her.”

“Oh no,” I said before swiftly making my way to where I know the sofa to be. I dropped to my knees beside her. I could see where her make up ran. I brought my hand up and caressed her cheek. “Fany. Fany-ah.” Oh god why did I feel like crying all of a sudden?

I placed a kiss on her forehead and then shook her shoulder a little. “Tiffany wake up.”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she started blinking. “Tae, Taeyeon?” She sat up. “You’re-you’re here.” I laughed. Her face was full of shock.

“Of course I’m here babe. Where else would I be?” I smoothed out her now blonde hair. “I really can’t get used to this hair color though,” I said before placing another kiss on her forehead. For their new album concept coming out next month Tiffany and Sunny were now blonde. It didn't look bad, but I preferred her darker hair for sure.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? I’m kind of to blame too aren’t I?”

“I forced myself on you tho-“ I bent over in laughter.

“Tiffany, I’ve wanted to do that with you just as long as you have, maybe even longer. We’re both to blame.”

“Did you get the test?” I nodded. “Give me it. I drank like a whole gallon of water a while ago, I really need to pee.”

“Right!” I stood up and picked up the bag in the kitchen. “Here, I bought four. So we could be uh, extra sure.”

“Okay, good idea.” She awkwardly took the bag from me.

“Do you, do you need any help?” I knew it was a stupid question, but I didn’t want to just sit around. She smiled for the first time tonight just then, it quickly faded though.

“No thanks Taetae. I got it.”

“I love you,” I called as she stepped in to the bathroom. Once the door was closed I started freaking out. “Omo, omo, omo. Sooyoung what do I do?”

“Uh wait?” I looked at him. “What Tae? I don’t know how this stuff works.”

“He’s right. The tests are going to take anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour to complete, so all you can do right now is wait.”

“Yah, why couldn’t have you said it like that? Thank you Sunny” He made a face at me.

“And make her calm down. She was driving me nuts earlier, going on about her ruining everything and you hating her, ugh. I almost killed her. You’re lucky it wasn’t Jessica stuck with her, she would have been done for.” That did bring up a good question though.

“Where is Jessica?”

“And Seohyun,” Sooyoung added.

“Jess went to her parents’ house and I texted her and told her to stay there tonight, and Seohyun had a few classes. She should be back around ten.” I looked at my watch. Good it was only about eight. We had plenty of time until she came back.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Opening the door I was met with Taeyeon’s gaze staring back at me. “Oh! You startled me.”

“Mian,” he smiled. “Come here,” he said before pulling me in to his arms. I took a deep breath. It felt so good to be here. “I’m not mad at you or anything like that you know,” he said like he was reading my next thought. I pulled away from him.

“But Tae I dompf-!” His hand went over my mouth.

 “Ani, let’s sit down first.” I nodded and then let him lead me to the sofa. “Now what were you saying,” he asked as he took his hand in mine. Ugh, how could he be this happy right now? Did he not fully grasp the situation? 

“I was saying, that I… That I might have this thing inside of me that is going to ruin both-“

“Wait, wait , wait,” he cut me off again. I looked at him in confusion, what could it possibly be now? “By thing you mean baby, right?” I winced.

“Don’t say that word Taeyeon. Please,” I begged.

“Tiffany,” he started. His voice was different now though. “What are you going to do if you actually are pregnant? Are you just going to throw it away? What if you do have a baby in here,” he asked as he moved his hand to my stomach. “Ani, not just a baby, OUR baby,” he emphasized loudly. Omo. My breaths were getting shorter. I don’t know what to do! I’ve never see Taeyeon this upset and especially not at me.

I noticed Sunny and Sooyoung had stopped their conversation in the kitchen too, for now their eyes were on us.

I was completely frozen, inside and out, I didn’t know what to do or say. I closed my eyes as I felt Taeyeon’s hand start caressing my stomach. “We might have a baby,” he said with his voice weak.

My eyes shot to his at that. I could see his eyes glistening as he continued to caress my stomach.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” My hand quickly covered my mouth. I didn’t mean to yell that out like I did, but how was he still not freaking out? The only screaming he did was to defend the th- baby, that we don’t even know is there or not yet. Omo, did he…did he want to have it?

 “Of course it scares me Fany, who wouldn’t be scared to have a baby?” He moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, letting his hands rest on my stomach once again. “But I love you and you love me, and since that baby is a part of both of us, I know I already love it.” He kissed the side of my head. “Are you scared?” I nodded as I replayed the last thing he just said. My heart was probably on fire from his warm words.

Seriously how could he be so loving and caring right now?

“Taeyeon, it-it could ruin both of us.”

“Why? Because were not married?” I hummed. “That’s an easy problem to fix then don’t you think?”

“Taeyeon! That’s not the only reason,” I whined. Ugh, I can’t believe he was so nonchalant about getting married too.

“Then what else? What else could there possibly be? Is having a baby going to affect either of our voices? No. Dancing? You should be able to dance just fine afterward. Yeah, we’ll be busier, but we can make it work Fany-ah. We can get a baby sitter or my parents can move to Seoul. We’ll find a way.” He did have valid points, and his sincerity was so touching to me. I really did love this man, there was no doubt about at this point, as if there ever was.

 Here I was with the one thing that could literately ruin his career and he’s here right beside me telling me how much he wants it. I couldn’t believe it.

“No one’s going to want to watch an idol that’s already a mom Taeyeon. My fans would literately disappear. So would yours. All your fan girls would give up hope.”

“I don’t care.” All three sets of eyes tuned to him again. Aish, there he went yelling again. Mental note; never piss Taeyeon off. “I don’t care about any of it,” he said, softer this time, as he moved and looked in to my eyes. “I only care about you. You and our baby,” he said with a small smile. I could see the excitement in his eyes too. He was genuinely happy about this. I was still dumbfounded by his ability to be so okay with this. I wasn’t ready for my career to be over. I wasn’t ready for any of this. I couldn’t be a mom.

I guess it was better than the alternative though.  I really don’t think I could handle him breaking up with me, nor did I ever want to figure out if I could.

“Do you guys want tea? I’m making it,” Sunny said. Omo Sunny… and Jessica and Seohyun. If I was ruined I would bring them down too.

“Ani, I’m fine. Fany-ah?”

“Sunny,” I stood up and went to her to pull her in a hug.

“You could have just said yes pabo,” she laughed.

“Ani, if I’m… If I’m-“

“Knocked up?” I looked at Soo, almost opening my mouth to say something, but I guess he wasn’t wrong.

“Right, wouldn’t it affect you guys too? If I ruin my idol status I don’t want to bring you three down too.” I could feel my tears start to fall again. “I’m so sorry.”

“Tiff, calm down. We don’t even know if you are or not yet. Let’s worry about that when we figure it out okay?” I nodded. She was right. We could all just be overreacting. I might be baby free. “How much longer do we have to wait?”

“The boxes said an hour and it’s only been like ten minutes?” I sniffed.

“Yah! Why’d you pick out the ones that take an hour? There are ones that take thirty minutes!” Taeyeon stood up.

“Well sorry! It’s not like I buy them often! I just bought the most expensive ones because I figured they would work the best.”

“Yah!”

“Quit fighting,” I interrupted. “Ugh!” I walked toward my room and quickly found my bed.

All these thoughts were in my head making me go insane. I needed to lie down and think. Ugh, I also needed Taeyeon. I looked to the door, and like magic it opened, revealing a cute little wiggling its way in. I smiled as he turned around with his hands full of different kinds of snacks.

He dropped the bag of potato chips that he was holding on to with his teeth next to me. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I replied. I patted the spot next to me and he quickly dropped the rest of the snacks. “Take your pick!” I laughed as I looked at the various assortments.

“Why do you have so many snacks? Your manager is going to make you work out for a day straight for this,” I teased. I was trying to push all the other buzzing thoughts to the back of my head.

“Ah,” he fed me a bite of a choco pie. “When we stopped at the stores to buy the, uh, well you know.” I nodded. “We decided it would be weird if we just went in and left at the ones with younger cashiers. So we bought snacks.”

“That’s smart.” He tried to feed me again. “Yah, you eat it too. Just because I might get fat soon doesn’t mean I need to right now.”

“Fine. Jeesh,” he said as he finished it off. He pushed the rest of the snacks off the bed and laid down. “Plus you won’t get fat Fany, you’ll be getting prepared,” he laughed as he pulled me in to him again. Oh my god, now he was joking about it?

“You really want this don’t you?” He looked a little taken back, but I guess I did sound kind of angry. “Ani, I didn’t mean it like th-“

“Shh,” he cut me off. He cupped my face with one hand and pulled me in for a kiss. “I don’t necessarily want it, not right now at least,” he replied. “But, if it does happen why shouldn’t I be happy about it?” I looked at him curiously. I had no idea where he was going with this. He laughed. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s just that I know I want to marry you one day and have kids and everything, so maybe it’ll just happen a few years sooner than we’d like.”

Did he really just say that he wanted to marry me, and have children with me? Plural? My heart was beating at an unreal speed. It was crazy how he made everything seem so simple with just a few words though. His thoughts were so pure and innocent. I was in awe.

“Do you…Do you want the same thing?”

I froze. Did I want the same thing? I thought about it. When I tried to see myself with other guys, I couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. I only saw Taeyeon. The thought of him dumping me could literately cause me to have a heart problem. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Omo. Does that mean I want to marry him though? All the signs pointed to one answer.

I nodded.

“Jinjja? Even the kids? I want two or three Fany-ah,” he started.

“Taeyeon, Tae,” I interrupted. “Let’s see what happens tonight first.” Hell, he might already have one of them. I internally sighed. “How much longer do we have?”

“We still have like forty minutes Fany, calm down.” He snuggled in closer to me. I let out a groan. Jesus, why was time going so slow. “Fany?” I hummed. “If, if you are pregnant wh-what do you want it to be?”

His hand moved to my stomach once again, which made me smile. Even if I was knocked up, it was only what? One month ago? Maybe not even. He wouldn’t be able to feel anything for a while. It was pretty adorable though. No! Stop!

You’re not pregnant Tiffany Hwang! You cannot have a child right now! You are 22!

“I don’t know Tae,” I said faintly. The more we kept talking about it the more real it seemed. It couldn’t be. I wasn’t.

“I want a girl first.” What?

“Why? Wouldn’t a boy be better?” ! Tiffany!

“Ahh! So you do have a preference,” he kissed my forehead. “But I want a girl so she’ll grow up and be as cute as her mommy,” he laughed. “She’ll have all the boys at the playground falling over from her deadly little eye smile. A smile grew on my face. “Ah! That’s the one, right there,” he said as he pinched my cheek.

“Oww Taeyeon. Yah! Then what if it’s a boy, he’ll have his daddy’s cute little grin that makes all the girls fall for him.” I saw him smile. “Omo, and if he gets this dimple it’ll be game over. We’ll have to send him to an all-boys school.”

“Yah,” he laughed.

“Oh god, I hope he doesn’t get your ahjumma laugh though.” I saw him pout.

“I thought you said it was cute!” I hummed. “Fine then I hope she doesn’t get your loud voice.”

“Yah,” I protested loudly. “Er, well yeah. Me too actually…” I looked in his eyes as he looked back at me and suddenly everything before seemed so small. I loved him, and whatever life had planned for us, I was more than willing to accept it if he were by my side.

Although I still didn’t want a baby, like at all.  I’m only 22 for christ’s sake. I could barely even take care of myself. I fall on stage almost all the time. Oh god, I couldn’t even imagine having to hold a baby all the time? I would most likely drop it 8 times a day.

However, I wasn’t 100% against it like I was a little while ago, maybe just 80% now and that was solely because of this wonderful guy beside me.

“Tae,” I called softly. He hummed. “I love you.”

“I love you too. You should rest though. I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

“Jinjja?” He hummed again. “Sounds good to me,” I said as I snuggled in to him just right. He was always able to soothe me to sleep. I just felt so relaxed in his arms.

“Yah, Tiff. Tiffany!” I sat straight up.  Jesus, I’ve only been laying down for a minute! “Good, you’re up. It’s been past an hour you know. Have you gone and checked it yet?” Damnit Taeyeon!

“Ugh, Tae, you were supposed to wake me- Oh.” He was asleep too.

“Yeah, Sooyoungie fell asleep too. He said they’ve been working really long hours on their new album or something. Just get up and go check, it’s making me anxious and it’s not even mine.”

“Right, right,” I said still not fully awake. “Tae, wake up,” I called as I shook him. ”Taeyeon!”

“Hmm?”

“Get up, we have to check the tests.”

“Oh. Okay.” He sat up and started scooting to the edge of the bed. “I really missed sleeping with you Fany-ah,” he said as he pecked my cheek.

“That’s what got us here in the first place,” Sunny commented. “Go look. Hurry!”

I watched Taeyeon take a deep breath. “Alright. Let’s go Fany.” He held out a hand for me, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want it to become a reality. “Tiffany?”

“I can’t go. You go and tell me.”

“What? No way. I’m not going without you,” he said. “Sunny, you go.”

“Me,” she almost screamed. That was a genius idea though.

“Yeah! Sunny you go and tell us. Please~,” I whined.

“Uh, fine. I guess.” She took a deep breath. “Here I go.”

Taeyeon quickly sat down beside me, wrapping his arm around me. “We’ll be fine. No matter what.” I nodded as I watched Sunny finally step in to our bathroom across the hall. Oh god.

I saw her looking at one of the boxes before setting it down. Oh no. This was it. This was it.