Guard Down & Advance Move

Chapter 26

Tiffany POV

I look from a far waiting for a certain figure to appear from my sight, we had been waiting like usual for Taeyeon at the gate. It’s about time she’ll make a turn and will finally appear in my line of sight. And then she did appeared, her figure still blurry from the distance but I can never mistaken her to anyone in the crowd, I almost memorized the silhouette of Taeyeon from near and far. But her figure is not walking alone this morning, somebody is walking beside her. I could see they’re talking happily teasing perhaps. And then I saw that other figure place her arms over Taeyeon’s shoulder and the latter did the same too. I was really starting to feel frustrated not knowing who is that person.

When they were finally near, enough for anyone to see them clearly. A jolt of pain suddenly pierce through me. Why are you suddenly feeling like this Tiffany Hwang? Why? When they continue to smile and laugh at each other and pinching cheeks. I need to keep my cool or else I might suddenly act reckless and pull out all the hair of girl, first in the rooftop now here.

It should be me! Not her!

“Now you’re JEALOUS don’t you dare deny it I’m your friggin MIND for God sake I know what you feel but your HEART knows more than I!”

Fine  I’m Jealous happy now?

“Just be HONEST now Stephanie and it would be alright. Follow your heart then I’ll follow you to keep you sane okay! No need to worry too much.”

Why am I even having this stupid conversation with my MIND!?

“It’s because you already KNOW what I KNOW and what your HEART KNOWS! You’re just afraid that’s all!”

But that’s the problem! I’m afraid! I’m too damn afraid! This way too alien to me! I never felt like this before! How do you want me to react!

“Then follow your second thought you’re thinking inside YOU’RE MIND! TALK TO SOMEONE DAMN IT! Don’t continue talking to your MIND in your HEAD or else you’ll gonna end up in an asylum way before you even finally admit it!”

Damn why is this so complicated!

“It’s not complicated; YOU are the only one making it complicated!”

Why does I never actually WON against you, when you’re just my stupid MIND?

“Because I’m you STUPID STEPHANIE HWANG!”

Fine I’ll talk to someone. Maybe later after school I’ll take Jessi away.

But how can she act so sweet and all lovely towards that girl? How can she look so calm and cheerful this morning when I was having a typhoon in my head last night because of what happened to us? And now I was having another war against myself. How many more unknown things I would feel because of you Kim Taeyeon?  

I quietly walk ahead of them to our classroom; Taeyeon is busy sending away the maknaes I could see her smiling because of something Seohyun is telling her. For the whole morning classes I could see Taeyeon keeps on glancing at me but I continue to ignore her. I’m too afraid that if I start to talk her, my anger would just burst out I would lash out on her. And I know I won’t have any excuse or reason to tell her why I’m mad at her right now.

The bell finally rings, I saw Taeyeon get up her seat to approach me but I moved more faster than her trying to avoid whatever she’s planning to do. I turn to my right and went straight to Jessica.

“Jessi, can you come with me for a while please?” I went to execute my plan earlier.

“Mmmm Okay Tiff, but how about lunch?” she looks hesitant to go with me.

“We’ll just catch up to them.”

“Okay let’s go.” Jessica suddenly drags me away, is she only faking her expression earlier because she looked more eager than I am about this sudden invitation?

Jessica drags me to the school’s backyard and made me sit in one of the benches there before sitting beside me.

“So what’s the catch Tiff? Come on you can tell me now. Whatever that is bothering you, tell it all to me. I promise I will listen. And base on what I’ve been seeing you lately I probably already had a hint about what this girl talk is about. So for once just let your guard down and be honest to me okay” She looked straight into my eyes.

“I.. You.. How… How could you