`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 1/5

If I saw this on the front page I would not click on it, that’s the whole idea.  Even if it relates to the story, it’s just a rather boring title.  But I’ll give a point for relevancy.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 8/10

My first impression when I saw the format was oh god this story is going to be confusing or it won’t have flow.  I saw the mature parts so I’m quite glad this isn’t a story that wants me to drop dead.  Gosh people and their terrible grammar and wrongly spelled titles…

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 4/10

You gave info on the story (which really nobody actually reads) and the actual foreword, the description was okay.  I only hoped it would get better as the story began.  Which means you don’t really have a hooker in the foreword, even though it’s ‘intense’ it’s not really enough for me to keep reading.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 8/15

This story is nowhere near cliché, it’s among confusing but it’s still very interesting.

Though it seems like you’re trying too hard.  Though I believe in the end your plot will be completely ridiculous.  Think about your plot for a second and if the main character actually has a reason to be hated, a legit reason that would get anyone hated in this world, and actually seems plausible.  Then you’re doing well.  But it just seems like those step-daughter stories.  NO MOMMY I KNOW IM NOT YOUR CHILD SO YOU CAN HATE ME.  Of course I could just be reading the story wrong.

BUT, if you don’t know what you did wrong, not even an inkling.  You are either naïve or did nothing wrong, and I’m pretty damn sure the protagonist isn’t naïve.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 6/10

You characterized all characters pretty well.  I expected whatso DBSK member to be gentle to a female but he actually wasn’t.

However you’re female is amongst the brink of originality, since she’s rough but gets beat up.  Where is the hypocrisy here?
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 3/10

Unbelievable. So if a girl gets beaten up, she's automatically a boy? Am I suppose to take this offensively? Plus, he's making me feel uncomfortable; he's in my personal space, oh how I would kill this guy if I could actually move a finger. "I don't know. Maybe those guys from earlier thought it'd be funny to glue a ing wig on my head and chop off my ing balls."

I was going to say damnit, how come people in these story can’t fight.  Till you reached a bit of a contradiction, where I am flabbergasted and can’t even seem to state this contradiction.  WTF was she beat up, when she is clearly here ‘strong as evar’ like she knows how to fight?

I dislike these types of stories, they’re always so contradicting.  Like the protagonist clearly can’t do jack and defies the face of the world.  Self-defense to the minimal-inkling doesn’t exist.  I know this is Korea, but police really don’t exist there too?
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 10/10

Even if I was the daughter or the King, assassin, or spy, we meant no harm to you.

Even if I was the daughter of the King, assassin, or spy, we meant no harm to you.

All things you’d pretty much be able to notice with a read over.

Though you could add the scenery to the scenery, I’d actually get the feeling of the story more.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 10/10

You started off with subtle mentions of things, of which I felt like I caught all of them, btw.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 12/15

I’m sure you would have been better off writing in a regular format instead of being overly complicated.  Because this is where I always notice the author is being overdone!
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 5/5

Sure, if I wasn’t reviewing and giving you my constructive criticism, we’d be getting somewhere.
`Total : 67/100

`Bonus : 3/5

-Quotes are pro.

Overall Total: 70/100

Believe me, this is a high score.

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 1/5

If I saw this on the front page I would not click on it, that’s the whole idea.  Even if it relates to the story, it’s just a rather boring title.  But I’ll give a point for relevancy.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 8/10

My first impression when I saw the format was oh god this story is going to be confusing or it won’t have flow.  I saw the mature parts so I’m quite glad this isn’t a story that wants me to drop dead.  Gosh people and their terrible grammar and wrongly spelled titles…

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 4/10

You gave info on the story (which really nobody actually reads) and the actual foreword, the description was okay.  I only hoped it would get better as the story began.  Which means you don’t really have a hooker in the foreword, even though it’s ‘intense’ it’s not really enough for me to keep reading.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 8/15

This story is nowhere near cliché, it’s among confusing but it’s still very interesting.

Though it seems like you’re trying too hard.  Though I believe in the end your plot will be completely ridiculous.  Think about your plot for a second and if the main character actually has a reason to be hated, a legit reason that would get anyone hated in this world, and actually seems plausible.  Then you’re doing well.  But it just seems like those step-daughter stories.  NO MOMMY I KNOW IM NOT YOUR CHILD SO YOU CAN HATE ME.  Of course I could just be reading the story wrong.

BUT, if you don’t know what you did wrong, not even an inkling.  You are either naïve or did nothing wrong, and I’m pretty damn sure the protagonist isn’t naïve.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 6/10

You characterized all characters pretty well.  I expected whatso DBSK member to be gentle to a female but he actually wasn’t.

However you’re female is amongst the brink of originality, since she’s rough but gets beat up.  Where is the hypocrisy here?
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 3/10

Unbelievable. So if a girl gets beaten up, she's automatically a boy? Am I suppose to take this offensively? Plus, he's making me feel uncomfortable; he's in my personal space, oh how I would kill this guy if I could actually move a finger. "I don't know. Maybe those guys from earlier thought it'd be funny to glue a ing wig on my head and chop off my ing balls."

I was going to say damnit, how come people in these story can’t fight.  Till you reached a bit of a contradiction, where I am flabbergasted and can’t even seem to state this contradiction.  WTF was she beat up, when she is clearly here ‘strong as evar’ like she knows how to fight?

I dislike these types of stories, they’re always so contradicting.  Like the protagonist clearly can’t do jack and defies the face of the world.  Self-defense to the minimal-inkling doesn’t exist.  I know this is Korea, but police really don’t exist there too?
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 10/10

Even if I was the daughter or the King, assassin, or spy, we meant no harm to you.

Even if I was the daughter of the King, assassin, or spy, we meant no harm to you.

All things you’d pretty much be able to notice with a read over.

Though you could add the scenery to the scenery, I’d actually get the feeling of the story more.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 10/10

You started off with subtle mentions of things, of which I felt like I caught all of them, btw.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 12/15

I’m sure you would have been better off writing in a regular format instead of being overly complicated.  Because this is where I always notice the author is being overdone!
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 5/5

Sure, if I wasn’t reviewing and giving you my constructive criticism, we’d be getting somewhere.
`Total : 67/100

`Bonus : 3/5

-Quotes are pro.

Overall Total: 70/100

Believe me, this is a high score.