`Story Title [did it catch my attention?] : 4/5

As unexpected seems like an incomplete title, but that’s only because it’s a conjunction.  Actually, selecting a title can be very simple.  The way you describe your main character is hopeless romantic, so couldn’t something as simple as that be the title?

Still, an incomplete title leaves more to be shown, and isn’t that what a title should do?

`Appearance [what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 6/10

It’s a little messy but I feel as if a very beautiful story is going to develop.  (This isn’t my own form so I can’t really tell you much here)

`Forewords [did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 3/10

Your plot is a little weird, but you tell everything you need to.  It certainly keeps the reader wanting to read more.  However, the most you could do is tell who the two guys are, you put pictures of them BUT, I dislike SHINee and I may not know who they are, so how would I be able read the story?

`Plot[was the plot cliché or was it interesting?] : 5/15

The plot seemed pretty unrealistic in terms of Korea.  Nobility and such things like how the ballot wasn’t shown on TV for the world to know weren’t really put to mind.  It’s just a girl’s dream.  The ballot could’ve also had a lot of fake entries since you don’t actually seem to need the participant’s signature…

It’s a girl’s dream to be swept by a prince, sure, but it’s not entirely impossible to make everything seem realistic.  Moreover if the prince isn’t allowed out of his house, the King shouldn’t be either, so what are their roles?  This means the monarchy is utterly worthless and they don’t actually have roles to do.  The monarchy is a direct way of utilizing country connections.

The plot is interesting but in the end, does it truly make sense?

After awhile of more reading, you seem to stray from your original plot.  The ballot seems to not even matter anymore.  Sure Minho is supposed to grasp her in a month’s time but…I just don’t seem to see the connection of your plot anymore.

`Characterization [was I able to learn about the characters?] : 6/10

You seem to successfully give each character their own personality.  However, you fail to piece Minho’s personality.  Obviously he doesn’t really have friends, so why is he the way he is?  He should be more secluded and etc.  A person’s personality does not form out of thin air; you need to be able to combine their surroundings and a few variations to create that person’s personality.  I hope that wasn’t too confusing, I’ve always been very bad at telling these things T-T

`Creativity/Originality [was it creative?] : 1/10

If you watched Goong or My Princess, it seems like an incredibly cheap version of the two dramas.  And in other terms, it’s just a type of story you can really find everywhere.

There were a few more things that bugged me that make this story very low in creativity.  Why does one of the latter always think of the other like she’s perrrrrrrrrrrrfect.  Why couldn’t he think of Key, because you can’t allow Minho to be gay T-T.  One tiny little phone number exchange is enough to make a man go crazy.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary [was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 2/10

*I’m quite shabby in grammar; I’d recommend you don’t completely follow my guidelines.

"Maybe I just wanted to hear it again, from another gorgeous person," he says. "but to no luck, she just tells me her bestfriend thinks so." 

"Maybe I just wanted to hear it again, from another gorgeous person." Key says, rapping the table with his fingers.  "But to no luck, she just tells me her best friend thinks so." 

I’d suggest going over your dialogue.  Think a little, is this possible to say in one-sitting?  Even so, you need action in between the dialogue if you’re going to phrase it like that.  Otherwise you’d just be better off putting the dialogue all in one quotation mark and putting ‘he says’ afterwards.

There’s also a major lack of capitalization.  Not putting in the tiniest effort of capitalization really shows how much effort you’re really putting into a story.

`Flow [was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 7/10

I believe your flow is pretty good, but I’d suggest you lean off from going with too many details in your story.  I actually wish your flow was a little bit quicker too.  It seems like there isn’t enough drama as I continue the story. 

`Writing Style [did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 4/15

Well you use Korean language, so why don’t you also use the honorifics?  Mr.Key seems awfully weird, and they all aren’t in America are they?  Respect their nationality if you’re going to be using royalty as your theme.

There’s a major lack of imagery so it just makes me wonder…wonder…and wonder exactly how does things look?

Please do not stray from the original line of your story writing.  A reader does not need to know the favorite color of the main character.  If you write about those types of things, you might as well write their whole 8 hours of time spending together.  Without missing even a detail T-T  I had to end the review at chapter 10 because I just started skimming to the point that I started skimming everything >.>  Your writing style makes it hard for me to continue and actually understand where you’re going with this story.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 0/5

`Total  : -/100

`Bonus : 0/5

Overall Total: 38/100