Reviewer: Sherioka @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

Fanfic link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/31147/

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] :The title could have been simpler and shorter. Let’s see…You’re trying to describe that Junhyung regrets his feelings toward Yuri? Or something like that? Maybe you write down some keywords and mix match the words together to make a new combination. You shouldn’t make a title so long, and in the titles, every word has to be capitalized. Don’t forget to mention, you don’t need punctuation.3/5

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : There isn’t any poster or background, but I liked how you gave a brief introduction on the characters and you also game some pictures. I like that. 8/10
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : Your forewords is more like an introduction of the whole story. You shouldn’t say so much, describe so much, or detail so much. You should make it a bit mysterious, adding adjectives to it. You need to add punctuation too. Your sentences are long and just information. You’ll need more than just details to catch a reader’s interest. It’s like you’re making a movie not writing a story. 6/10

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : It was interesting, but what was Junghyun regretting? I don’t get it. 13/15

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : You described them well and did a good job on putting feelings into their thought and you made their emotions clear and it was funny to read. 9/10

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : So far so good, your story isn’t like others. You made Junghyun make the first move so fast. You’re on a good start; just keep on adding surprises and mysteries to add more spice into the story! 10/10

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : Little mistakes here and there, but over all…Nothing big to mention. Just reread and recheck every time you finish writing a chapter, a paragraph or even a sentence! Keep that in mind. 9/10

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : The chapter flow is steady, but you kind of rushed it at first. It was like; one minute Junghyun wants to go home, while Yuri’s heads over heals for him. Then, Junghyun starts liking Yuri. You didn’t describe that enough and the progress with the story is too fast. But the flow is okay. 7/10

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : You made it clear who’s pov it is, and you did a good job on stating who’s talking. And stating who’s talking the punctuation should be “ instead of ‘ And you should try not making the story like a movie! Every step he/she does what, and then what and then yeah. You describe too much. 11/15

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : It was cute, but could have been better. Don’t make the story as an action movie! 4/5

`Total : 80/100

`Bonus : I just love…Love…Jessica. So what if she’s mean? I like the bad people in stories. 5/5

Overall Total: 85/100