The New Beginning by justmeonly
Monochromatic Pixel's Review Request Shop
Reviewer: ll0vex3_her @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/
FANFIC LINK: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/22272/
Title: 2/5
Ok, the title actually sounds quite boring. It won't be some title that would catch my attention.
Poster(If there is one): 9/15
The poster is nice! I love the fact that there's stains of blood, it matches the mood of the story.
Description: 6/10
Nice, short and sweet. There somehow a hook to it that created the suspense that a reader, in this case me, wants to see and read.
Forward: 5/10
Its quite nice, matches the story. I like the prologue though xDD
Character descriptions (only if have one): 6/10
Its ok, at least most of the informations are inside and I could understand what's the role of everyone in the story.
Plot: 15/45
Actually..the plot is nothing unique or special. Its just like how anyone would basically write for a vampire story. Nothing much special to the extend that would make me want to read it at all. Another thing is that, the way you write it makes it even worse.
Writing: 15/40
Your writing is really very...how should I say? Just like the standard of a primary school student. You're sentences are really very weird to the extend that its somehow confusing.
Spelling/grammar: 9/25
Your spelling and grammer isn't really good actually. Most of your sentence are weird.
For example:
(chapter 2)
i pain
correction: I mumbled in pain
(chapter 2)
i asked to myself
correction: I asked myself
Please, the word "I" should be in capital letter and your sentences sometimes left out are, is, was, were and other connectors. And you have the becareful of your past and present tense.
Chapter titles (only if have titles): 4/10
Well, not much to say. It's just plain and boring. Quite obvious to the fact that I don't even find the need to read the chapter title.
Ending (only if completed): /20
None, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.
Rated scenes (only if rated): /10
Haven yet, so I won't count in the marks.
Total: 71/170
Criteria: B-
Criteria: B-
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