Reviewer: Sapphira @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

FANFIC LINK: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/40509/

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 1/5

To be honest, the title of your story is super common. I didn’t even caught my attention or anything. Why not think of a title that is something new and that could make the readers think on why did you choose that title of your story.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 3/10

Well it didn’t actually caught my attention. When I read the part wherein you said that your story is heartbreaking, I was thinking to myself on what kind of story will it be. I was hoping it’s something new.

But it lacks a lot of informations. If you get what I mean.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 0/10

One word… EMPTY. Give more info about your story. Not just a simple description like “Sad love story, that will break your heart.”

Even though it’s a one-shot, you should still give something that could make the readers feel like reading more. Something like a question or a mystery that should be found out while reading your story.

But you know what I found? NOTHING.

Be creative!

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 1/15

When I started reading your story, I thought that this plot was really familiar. Then when I continued reading, I remembered that I watched this EXACTLY same plot/story in youtube.

So, I didn’t continue reading your story… instead, I immediately went to the Final Chapter and checked if I was right… and guess what? I was.

So, I already predicted what was happening… nothing new. And this is the first time I reviewed a story that I don’t have to finish reading. I’m really disappointed.

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 10/10

I think this is the one part where I can give you a perfect and high score. I don’t have any problems with the characters.

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 2/10

Sorry but throughout the story… I didn’t see any creativity or originality. Maybe the way you wrote up the scene and explain everything further…

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 8/10

I just saw common errors in your story. Please be aware of your punctuations. You should know what punctuations to use. Also the spacings… know if the word is two or one. Like the word “every day”. It’s two words.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 10/10

Not too slow not too fast.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 10/15

It’s easy to read, which I like. It is also quite detailed. Although I think it’s better if you made your writing style in a paragraph form.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 0/5

I’m sorry, but I didn’t. Like what I said a while ago, I didn’t have to read your story because I just know already the flow of the story.

`Total : /100

`Bonus : 2/5

Overall Total: 47/100

Hope this review helps. J