Reviewer: Aznchika @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

Fanfic link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/36171/

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 3/5

-Though the title wouldn’t necessarily catch my attention if I was browsing through a list of fanfics, it did make me wonder what would happen in the story. Also, I recommend taking out the ellipses and period – it makes the title look more professional.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 5/10

-I admit the poster looked quite nice, but I couldn’t tell what the story was about. The main idea of having a poster is to draw the reader in and give some information about the story, for example, some quotes from the characters. Also, the appearance looks quite plain, so why don’t you get yourself a background? You don’t have to request one – just search it up on Google or so.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 10/10

-I found the description – aka the excerpt- interesting, and it immediately captured my attention. The forewords were written in correct format, and though it confused me at first since I couldn’t tell if it was the author or Kyuhyun talking, I decided not to take off points. Full marks!

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 15/15

-Let me just start off with saying how much I love the way you portray the entertainment business and ideas. It is not cliché at all and I really like the fact that you based it off of your life; a great author can relate their stories to their life, and I can say you’re on your way to becoming a great writer!

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 10/10

-Just like almost everything else in your fanfic, you had very realistic characters. I’m glad that you didn’t include those cliché characters such as ‘the blondes’, ‘players’, or ‘family-missing backgrounds’. I appreciate the fact that you made up characters that could be found common in the world, therefore I’ll give you full marks again!

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 10/10

-I love the creativity and uniqueness of this story. To be honest, I’ve never really been interested in this sort of genre in writing, therefore I don’t know if other stories have similar ideas and events.  However, I can say it’s not based off of [b]romance or comedy, but reality and how the world really is (which is rare on AFF), and I think that deserves a full ten points.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 9/10

-You did repeat a few words here and there, and there were some places where it was better to use a dash instead of a comma, but overall, I say your vocabulary and grammar is pretty good. This shows how much you actually care about your story, and I give you kudos for that.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 10/10

-The pace of the story was very smooth- the approximate time for each activity was realistic too, which could often be complicating since you have so many chapters, but you managed to pull it off. I don’t see any reason to deduct points.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 13/15

-I like your writing style – it looks professional and gives off a nostalgic aura. The only thing I’d like to comment on is the spacing. If you could space the paragraphs out more, then this would definitely be a 15 out of 15.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 4.5/5

-Though I only judged the story from the first twenty chapters or so, I can tell everything stays consistent. If it was shorter, I would most likely subscribe to it, but as you can see, I can also be a pretty lazy person. Other than the story length, I really enjoyed it. You have potential to become a great author – work hard and good luck!

`Total : 89.5/100

`Bonus : 5/5

-Bonus for being one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever read!

-Very creative and unique!

-Readers can definitely relate.

-Very well-written and professional

-And, well, I just love it [:

Overall Total: 94.5/100