Reviewer: aznchika @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

FANFIC LINK: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/23471

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 5/5

-Nice title! It caught my eye and got me interested! Just by reading it, I could tell this wasn’t going to be a happy, energetic fanfic.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 10/10

-The poster is beautiful! The colors draw me into the story and make me curious about what it’s about. Gray and black goes best with angst stories, as you can see, and it brings out the highlight of your fanfic.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 10/10

-I found the prologue interesting; it made me curious, and it set the angst mood for the rest of the story. I also really liked the teaser and trailer you put up. The trailer left a big impact as a first and meaningful impression, and from then, I really wanted to know what happened. Great job!

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 15/15

-I didn’t feel the plots were cliché. Each had its own story and meaning behind it, and it amazes me the way you describe the emotions and mood throughout the fanfic. The one-shots were really interesting. Most of the time, angst stories would be about someone passing away or dealing with a sickness, but this is pretty creative. Full marks!

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 9/10

-Great characterization! I could tell what the characters felt and thought throughout the fanfic, and I really enjoyed learning about their past. However, I did get confused on the Jonghyun story. Why did he kiss her? If he really loved Sun Hee, he wouldn’t do so. Other than that, great job!

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 10/10

-Like I said before, these stories were creative and original! I enjoy reading something new, and this fits my mood. Full marks!

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 6.5/10

-You seem to have trouble with switching between past and present tense. Also, you tend to add some commas in the wrong place and write short sentences. It would sound better and more professional if you connected your sentences, so they would flow better. Here are some examples:

 You wrote: ‘His hands were groping on my shoulder, I smiled faintly’.

It’s a run-on sentence. It’s better written: ‘His hands were groping my shoulder; I smiled faintly’.

You wrote: ‘As much as I want to argue with Sun Hee and convinced her, that he wasn’t, my shoulders just shrug.’

Better written: ‘As much as I wanted to argue with Sun Hee and convince her that he wasn’t, my shoulders just shrugged.’

You wrote: I look around, from my right then to my left. I felt somebody is watching over me. I turn around, I saw Kim Ki Bum looking at me. I smile uneasy at him and look away.

Better written: I looked around from my right, then to my left. Feeling somebody was watching over me, I turned around to see Kim Ki Bum looking at me. I smiled uneasily at him and looked away.

You wrote: He stopped. I smiled. I jogged closer to him. By the time I got there, I was panting.

Better written: He stopped and I smiled before jogging closer to him. By the time I got there, I was panting.

You wrote: “What promised?” I smile innocently at him as I ask him that question. I tried to act ignorantly in front of him trying to test his patient.

Better written: “What promise?” I smiled innocently at him as I asked him that question. I tried to act ignorant in front of him, trying to test this patience.

You wrote: I blushed. I sat on the floor beside him and started scanning the notes. I asked, “What if, for example, Ki Bum didn’t pass the exam at Konkuk, what would you do afterward?”

Better written: I blushed and sat on the floor beside him before starting to scan the notes. I asked,” What if, for example, Ki Bum didn’t pass the exam at Konkuk? What would you do afterwards?”

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 8/10

-I felt some parts went by too fast. You skipped some scenes- though they were minor- but it slightly confused me. The time seemed off and I didn’t know how long it was until the next scene. Maybe you would want to add in a small warning or so, so the reader can tell.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 14.5/15

-Your writing style was pretty good, I mean, I didn’t have any major problems with it. The only thing I think you would like to improve on is to connect more of your sentences, so it would flow better. Other than that, I liked your style!

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 5/5

-To tell you the truth, I don’t often read angst stories, but this collection of one-shots are- by far- the best I’ve ever read! Each story had its own meaning to it, and I felt somewhat intact with the Jonghyun story. Great job and full marks! [:

`Total : 93/100

`Bonus : 3/5

-I reallyyyyy liked the stories! They were interesting [:

-Love SHINee!

-Creative and Original :D

Overall Total: 96/100