Reviewer: Sherioka @ http://monochromaticpixels.tumblr.com/

Fanfic Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/38543/

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : It didn’t really catch my attention since many people use the same kind of title. But you got to the main point right away; and the title was simple and short. I give you heads up for that, but maybe next time, you can try writing down a few keywords and then combine them together; making a new word, a new title, something that’s fresh out of your creativity. Using some eye-catching words, eye-catching yet difficult words to catch a reader’s interest! Or use some signs to help. Like, “Marriage  Love” 4/5

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : I see that you made the poster! It looks fabulous, the colors are organized and I like the clip art. The whole poster looks cute; you even mentioned the minor characters. Really thoughtful! You’re a great writer and a great designer. What got me confused was the quote on your poster “Will not two people fall in love if they get Married without Love” I don’t get it. Make sure that the fluency of the quote won’t wreck the good image of your poster. 9/10

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : The conversation was fluffy and romantic. You emphasized the main parts with colors. I don’t know how to say this, since your foreword was basically well written. I liked the last phrase “…And the treaty is on.” It might be confusing to read at first, with all those relationships and questions that started to form in my head, but after actually reading the story, most of my questions cleared and the story unfolds. You did a great job on writing the forewords and catching the reader’s attention. 10/10

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : The plot wasn’t at all interesting, but it depends on how you develop it. But I liked how you stated the relationship and the treaty clear. Not like some writers who just gets to the main point and the girl and boy HAS to get married and their life after. You actually described the beginning of all this marriage and why. So in the contrary, your plot was actually interesting. 13/15

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : I learned about the characters, Key and Eunkyung’s personalities are really alike. And you put a lot of effort on what the other character’s personalities are, too. Just notes, don’t describe too much, and don’t repeat the same words over and over again. Like the word “darn” and “aish” you should repeat that frequently. Anyways, you did well on the characterization. Just be aware not to describe too much. 9/10

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : It was creative! You made surprises here and there without giving us any hint! I liked that, it makes the story fun to read! With problems along the way, by the way, try describing more of Key and Krystal’s feelings when their together okay? Same with Taemin and Eunkyung. 10/10

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : Nothing’s wrong with your writing, just make sure to watch out for the fluency of the whole story. Add punctuations, and reread each chapter, paragraph or sentence to see if it’s fluent enough. Or if there’s any mistakes along the way. I know you put lots of effort in it; I can see that, too. So, good work so far and keep it up. 8/10

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : It’s on a steady pace, you write what is needed in each chapter. You don’t make a chapter long or really short, the length is just right. You don’t make each chapter boring and full of…well, nothing. You actually progress the story bit by bit. Although it’s a bit slow, it’s because you have some side problems slowing down the real progress of the story. I’m not sure how to say this, but just one thing you need to know. Your story is on a really steady pace, keep it up. 10/10

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : Well, your story is kind of like an action movie. You state each movement and action way too clearer. You don’t need to describe too much. And sometimes, Key and Eunkyung’s happening the same thing although they are at different places. We wouldn’t want ideas to overlap right? It wouldn’t be as fun to read as the first time you used it. So watch out for writing down the same thing you already have. Like…Eunkyung’s parents are bothering her, while Key’s parents are doing the same to him. 8/15

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : It was cute, so much drama! I loved reading it. 5/5

`Total : 86/100

`Bonus :Little problems that could have been avoided!  4/5

Overall Total: 90/100

Reviewer’s Note: I give points away really easy, but I deduct them just as much. I’m doing this to help you improve! You know that already. ^^ Good job! And keep writing.