FF link @ http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/37587/

[REVIEWED BY SHERIOKA] @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : You made the title short and simplified, yet the title has a very big meaning to it. You did a great job on naming it. Next time when you write a story, you can try finding some more difficult words that have the same meaning to replace the easy ones. It’ll be more eye-catching. 5/5

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] :The poster was beautiful; the girl was perfectly fine, not a single notice of being deaf. I was thinking on what connection the title and the poster had, and when I read the forewords. I understood. I like it when you make readers think. And for the other posters, they fit that chapter well, but make sure not to put a poster that shows what’ll happen that obvious okay? 10/10

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : The forewords gave the readers lots of questions and making them think on what will happen next . I like that, making the reader’s think, they’ll want to keep on reading the story. People’s minds are basically the same, they think about the same things. You should know what everyone think about your forewords and make sure your ending isn’t something everyone knows will happen. Most people know it’ll be a happy ending, you can twist that. Some people think it’ll be tragic, even if it is, you shouldn’t say it in the forewords. It’ll ruin the story. I’m not sure how to say this; I hope you understand what I mean about that people’s minds are basically the same. If you have any question, ask me. 8/10

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] :After reading your story, it somehow feels like you get off the right track sometimes, so you should think before writing each chapter. Everything needs to be organized, that’s my tip for you. You mostly focus on the love triangle and not much about the whole music thing. So yeah, needs to be better. 9/15

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : Yeah, you stated the fact that people change real clear. I can also understand that just in one day, a person’s life can turn upside down. 8/10

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : About being deaf and everything, people write about something similar to that. As for the love triangle part, more people write about that. Next time, you should think of different ways and ideas to write a story. Think of something no one has ever written. Or maybe you could add more creative scenes throughout the story next time you update. The entire love thing…it happens a lot, I’m sure you can think of a different way to write everything. 6/10

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : Lots of mistakes, you should reread recheck every time you finish writing a chapter. It’s important not to make any mistakes. 4/10

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : Your flow’s at a very past pace, and some chapters are exciting, but some are short and has nothing important in it. You should even things out and delete the parts that aren’t that important. Stick to the plot. You have to make everything clear and simple for the reader, so you need to recheck your story so that it’s not too frustrating. 6/10

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] :It was okay, some parts were really confusing and you should state what’s happening clearly. You change the POVs and stuff like that real fast, but it doesn’t affect the story much, so I’m not going to say anything about that. 9/15

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : It was okay, the mistakes makes me frustrated and everything about her life being so sad, it’s not really interesting to read. And the fact that you keep saying non-important things and not a lot about her music life, what’s the use of this title anyways? And I thought she was close to being deaf? Wasn’t it hard for her to hear people talking? You should remember what you write. 1/5

`Total : 66/100

`Bonus : 2/5

Overall Total: 68/100

Thanks for requesting from Monochromatic Pixel. Work on your story hard!

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