Silent Music by jungminian0403

Monochromatic Pixel's Review Request Shop

 

FF link @ http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/37587/

[REVIEWED BY SHERIOKA] @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/


 

 

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : You made the title short and simplified, yet the title has a very big meaning to it. You did a great job on naming it. Next time when you write a story, you can try finding some more difficult words that have the same meaning to replace the easy ones. It’ll be more eye-catching. 5/5

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] :The poster was beautiful; the girl was perfectly fine, not a single notice of being deaf. I was thinking on what connection the title and the poster had, and when I read the forewords. I understood. I like it when you make readers think. And for the other posters, they fit that chapter well, but make sure not to put a poster that shows what’ll happen that obvious okay? 10/10

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : The forewords gave the readers lots of questions and making them think on what will happen next . I like that, making the reader’s think, they’ll want to keep on reading the story. People’s minds are basically the same, they think about the same things. You should know what everyone think about your forewords and make sure your ending isn’t something everyone knows will happen. Most people know it’ll be a happy ending, you can twist that. Some people think it’ll be tragic, even if it is, you shouldn’t say it in the forewords. It’ll ruin the story. I’m not sure how to say this; I hope you understand what I mean about that people’s minds are basically the same. If you have any question, ask me. 8/10

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] :After reading your story, it somehow feels like you get off the right track sometimes, so you should think before writing each chapter. Everything needs to be organized, that’s my tip for you. You mostly focus on the love triangle and not much about the whole music thing. So yeah, needs to be better. 9/15

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : Yeah, you stated the fact that people change real clear. I can also understand that just in one day, a person’s life can turn upside down. 8/10

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : About being deaf and everything, people write about something similar to that. As for the love triangle part, more people write about that. Next time, you should think of different ways and ideas to write a story. Think of something no one has ever written. Or maybe you could add more creative scenes throughout the story next time you update. The entire love thing…it happens a lot, I’m sure you can think of a different way to write everything. 6/10

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : Lots of mistakes, you should reread recheck every time you finish writing a chapter. It’s important not to make any mistakes. 4/10

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : Your flow’s at a very past pace, and some chapters are exciting, but some are short and has nothing important in it. You should even things out and delete the parts that aren’t that important. Stick to the plot. You have to make everything clear and simple for the reader, so you need to recheck your story so that it’s not too frustrating. 6/10

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] :It was okay, some parts were really confusing and you should state what’s happening clearly. You change the POVs and stuff like that real fast, but it doesn’t affect the story much, so I’m not going to say anything about that. 9/15

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : It was okay, the mistakes makes me frustrated and everything about her life being so sad, it’s not really interesting to read. And the fact that you keep saying non-important things and not a lot about her music life, what’s the use of this title anyways? And I thought she was close to being deaf? Wasn’t it hard for her to hear people talking? You should remember what you write. 1/5

`Total : 66/100

`Bonus : 2/5


Overall Total: 68/100

Thanks for requesting from Monochromatic Pixel. Work on your story hard!

 Music

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Comments

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Ladychi #1
Chapter 53: Yamaha ni encuentro está historia, alguien tiene una copia, please
CutieWay #2
I don't know how to explain this, but there is a move in which you move your chest while your fingers are going down. Also the move in which your body is following your body isn't easy for someone who wants to start dancing.
flyingyen
#3
Hey there! Sorry to be leaving a message like this in your comments but Ravenous Temptations are hiring for more staff! We are looking for dedicated graphic designers, reviewers, writers and advertisers! So please help us out because we are overloaded with requests and lack the staff to complete them ^^;;<br />
<br />
http://ravenous-temptations.blogspot.com
ElephantsandCrayons4
#4
Hello I was just wondering if my story was going to be reviewed? I put up a request on the day you said would be the last day of accepting reviews so I don't know if it's valid or not
janie6789
#5
Ahh kay. Thank you for the review and the encouraging words and the great score :D<br />
I really like my poster though!! :P I think the shop I used was fantastic. I didn't want a quote because it seems cheesy to me, and to be honest, book covers never show the story line anyways, so I disagree with you in that respect. I also find backgrounds to be distracting when navigating through the chapters, which is why I don't use one. ;) <br />
I think your comment on the length of it also got me thinking, and I may go through and have a compilation of the "must read" chapters for new readers so they can skip over some of them. Thank you very much again for the review :)
janie6789
#6
@Chp. 51: To be fair, the real Taemin went to normal school until after Ring Ding Dong, if I'm not mistaken. There was a rumour that he was bullied at school, with a series of pictures of him in class. He transferred to an arts school after Ring Dong Dong.
HanaKyu
#7
Omo. Thank you so much! LOL I targeted that I would get a 70.. Hihi. Yeah, I at grammar and describing things! ^^ But I will try my best to fix that! I really appreciated it that you have time to review my story. ^^ And again, thank you! <3
__eccedentesiast_ #8
Just posted up the review
__eccedentesiast_ #9
Thanks for the review I'll put it up when I'm not on my phone