øØ Language of Love Øø by tofuonew

Reviewer: ll0vex3_her @ http://monochromaticpixel.tumblr.com/

Fanfic link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/32512/

`Story Title : 3/5

I love the title! Especially the adorable symbols! Except that I didn't understand the need to placed "feat Onew + You" because we will know what's its about, you just had to place the title.

`Appearance : 6/10

It didn't really catch my attention on first glance. The symbols in the title is adorable though! And what an adorable poster! Loves Onew in it! So handsome!!

`Forewords : 5/10

Nice! It was something like a preview, and I love it. It seems nice and everything!

`Plot : 8/15

The plot is okay actually, its not new about a plot that has a runaway bride that falls in love with some other guy.. *guilty of having the same plotline..lols* Anway, wonderful! Like how you make use of the plot and added in so many different twists and everything!

`Characterization : 6/10

Your character descriptions are very clear and descriptive! And nice pictures~! *winks* The characters are very well potrayed.

`Creativity/Originality : 4/10

It wasn't much very creative because such a plot basically has many people writing it, including me. Such an ending also has many people writing it, once again, I did it before too.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 4/10

Good! There's nothing much to point out as your spelling and grammer are generally okay!

Chapter 1

Sungho stopped in his tracks and all of a sudden grabbed Mina by the shoulders so firmly that it hurt.

Correction: Sungho stopped in his tracks suddenly and grabbed Mina by the shoulders so firmly that it started to hurt.

Basically, there's not much mistakes apart from a few sentences here and there that needed to be corrected and rephrased.

`Flow : 5/10

It was going nice. Good thing that it wasn't too slow or anything.

`Writing Style : 6/15

Well, it IS easy to understand. A little boring to the fact but generally okay. Yes, overally its okay, except that..its not the type of style that would make me wants to continue reading..its so boring to the fact that it makes me not wanting to continue read it. However, loves how would described detaily about the surrounding things. Excellent!

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 5/5

I totally enjoyed this whole story!! So sweet, touching and beautiful! Such strong love between Onew and the OC! Once again, another first time from me giving full marks! Really, I never gave any full marks for any sections..lols. Happy to be my first? (lol, that sound weird xD) Anyway, thanks for choosing me as your reviewer! And super sorry for the delay!! Sorry!! No excuse should be given and here I bow to you as a form of apology! (its until my holiday did I managed to find time to finish this review..sorry T__T)

`Total : 52/100

`Bonus : 3/5

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Comments

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Ladychi #1 Nov 7, 2018 01:11:21

Chapter 53: Yamaha ni encuentro está historia, alguien tiene una copia, please

CutieWay #2 Jul 7, 2014 03:12:32

I don't know how to explain this, but there is a move in which you move your chest while your fingers are going down. Also the move in which your body is following your body isn't easy for someone who wants to start dancing.

flyingyen #3 Aug 13, 2011 14:52:28

Hey there! Sorry to be leaving a message like this in your comments but Ravenous Temptations are hiring for more staff! We are looking for dedicated graphic designers, reviewers, writers and advertisers! So please help us out because we are overloaded with requests and lack the staff to complete them ^^;;<br />
<br />
http://ravenous-temptations.blogspot.com

ElephantsandCrayons4 #4 Jun 20, 2011 11:50:28

Hello I was just wondering if my story was going to be reviewed? I put up a request on the day you said would be the last day of accepting reviews so I don't know if it's valid or not

janie6789 #5 Jun 13, 2011 19:18:18

Ahh kay. Thank you for the review and the encouraging words and the great score :D<br />
I really like my poster though!! :P I think the shop I used was fantastic. I didn't want a quote because it seems cheesy to me, and to be honest, book covers never show the story line anyways, so I disagree with you in that respect. I also find backgrounds to be distracting when navigating through the chapters, which is why I don't use one. ;) <br />
I think your comment on the length of it also got me thinking, and I may go through and have a compilation of the "must read" chapters for new readers so they can skip over some of them. Thank you very much again for the review :)

janie6789 #6 Jun 13, 2011 12:53:05

@Chp. 51: To be fair, the real Taemin went to normal school until after Ring Ding Dong, if I'm not mistaken. There was a rumour that he was bullied at school, with a series of pictures of him in class. He transferred to an arts school after Ring Dong Dong.

HanaKyu #7 Jun 13, 2011 02:56:44

Omo. Thank you so much! LOL I targeted that I would get a 70.. Hihi. Yeah, I at grammar and describing things! ^^ But I will try my best to fix that! I really appreciated it that you have time to review my story. ^^ And again, thank you! <3

__eccedentesiast_ #8 Jun 10, 2011 12:07:13

Just posted up the review

__eccedentesiast_ #9 Jun 10, 2011 10:24:19

Thanks for the review I'll put it up when I'm not on my phone