FANFIC LINK: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/31121

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 5/5

-I really like the title! It captured my attention, and it got me interested. I had a nostalgic feeling, and so it gave off a first impression! Good job!

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 8/10

-The background was fine- I had no problem with that. The poster, however, I felt that there was too much on it. It looked nice, yes, but I just felt it looked a little messy. The character faces didn’t blend in so well, but I guess it’s okay.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 10/10

-Your forewords had everything in it! It included the characters, a small summary of the story, and some other important information! It’s pretty hard to find a ‘perfect’ introduction nowadays. They’re usually missing some important parts, and some aren’t even complete! Also, the ending of the forewords made me laugh [: The guys are so adorable!

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 12/15

-I wouldn’t say it was cliché, but I wouldn’t say it was eye-catching either. The characters didn’t have a good spice to them, and the storyline wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. I could tell you did tried though. That was what really counted! It’s better than those fanfics with too much in them, in you know what I mean!

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 9/10

-I had no problem with the characterization either! I can judge the characters based on their actions and thoughts. The only thing I would want to add is the fact that your characters are a bit too dull. They’re not exciting. I suggest making more round characters in the future. The thing I appreciated, however, was the fact you didn’t write Mary-Sues, or at least they didn’t seem to be so in my eye. Good job with that [:

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 9/10

-It was pretty original for the most part. It set a nostalgic feeling and I really liked the fact you didn’t use those overly common storylines. Great job!

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 8/10

-There were a few mistakes here and there, but they weren’t major. I could still understand the message you’re delivering to the readers! However, you might want to work on your grammar problems. You tend to misuse words, such as in the sentence: ‘No one of us talk’. It’s supposed to be ‘None of us talk’. You might want to read over your writing, just to make sure.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 10/10

-I had no problem with the flow! It’s was perfect! Great job on not making it go too fast or too slow! Full marks [:

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 9/15

-One major problem I had with your writing style was the random Korean words you would add to your story. Words such as ‘yah’ and ‘yoboseyo’ are okay, but a majority of the words you added aren’t understandable to those readers who aren’t as knowledgeable about Korean as you are (for example: me) such as the words ‘Waeimnikka’ and ‘Jeongmal’. I had a few blank moments here and there. It’s all right to add the easy words once in a while, but make sure your readers can still understand.

Also, I grew slightly bothered by your overuse of ‘…’s. I prefer you just place a period and get it over with.  

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 2.5/5

-Your fanfic was all right. I didn’t hate it. It’s just these aren’t the kind of stories I usually read. Also, I don’t really like any story that features a girl that used to live in the United States. The storyline was kind of dull and the characters were just there if you know what I mean. I bet I would’ve enjoyed it more if it was a bit more exciting.

`Total : 82.5/100

`Bonus : 2/5

-Thumbs up for Donghae and Jaejoong!

-Thumbs up for Yoona and Jessica!

Overall Total: 84.5/100