Jimin pov~

Eventually I got tired of being stared at by Suga. I told them I had to get home to eat dinner with my mom and walked out. Jungkook came running out right after me. He looked like he wanted to ask me something. "Jimin wait!" He yelled closing the door behind him. I turned around quickly. I had to go see JB we had to make a plan. "Yeah Jungkook?" I said a little annoyed. He noticed I didn't call him kookie or jungkookie like normally but he continued on as if nothing happened. "When you were in that coma, did you hear anything?" He asked shyly. I thought back to the words "I love you" by Jungkook but I could've sworn that was part of the dream. If I asked about that though it would be embarrassing if that wasn't what he was talking about. "Uhm.... No I didn't hear that much, besides when Namjoon said I was in a coma," I said sheepishly. He looked down embarrassed. "Uhm anyways, next week is your birthday right?" He asked already knowing the answer. 
"Yeah I guess it is, I've been so busy I've forgotten ," I said suddenly remembering I was turning 17. 
Jungkook's birthday was a few months after mine so he was still 16.

"Uhm... I was wondering, for your birthday , maybe we can go see a movie sometime before then?" He asked quietly. My mind was in a different place, was he serious? Was he asking me out on a date? Then I realized, Jungkook doesn't like me. That was all a dream.

He's probably gonna invite V anyways. I've always been jealous of how close V and Jungkook were. V always told me Jungkook was just a brother but did Jungkook feel the same way? I don't have time to be a third wheel I have to figure out what to do with JB. "Uhm ... I'm really busy, so I can't," I said quite annoyed. His smile fell and was replaced with anger. "You've liked me all these years and the one time I ask you out you tell me no? What's your problem?" Jungkook said rather rudely.

"The problem? Jungkook you never liked me. You've led me on for almost 9 years now and you think I have a problem? Jungkook I am so stressed right now. I'm the one who just woke up from a coma and now I have to deal with everybody else's problems. I'm trying to help everybody but sometimes I just can't make everyone happy. Jungkook you don't love me, I know that. I'm done chasing after you. It seems like every time I put my heart out to you or the other members or to JB or to my family or to anybody it gets shattered. I have been through hell and back so yeah I have a problem. I'm sick of being everybody's doormat. I'm sick of being treated like I don't matter. I'm sick of having to tiptoe my way around everybody to make sure someone doesn't go off the deep end. You want to know what my problem is? It's all of you. You because you broke my heart and you were the only one I've ever felt true love for. Namjoon because he believed other people before believing me, his bestfriend. Taehyung because he's always been there for you when I couldn't. You're in love with him I know you are. Jin because even though he knew it was wrong, he did nothing to stop it till it was almost too late. Suga because he never says anything. He goes with the flow and tries to make up for it like nothing happened. J-hope because he's always been better than me. When we were kids he stole all the glory at our performances. I wanted to be up front too when we danced but there was only one spot and he always got it. That's just you guys. Why don't we talk about other people huh? Zico, he started this. Now he acts like absolutely nothing happened. I know I told him it was alright but sometimes I at least want a little more effort. Kyung, he always made an effort to ruin my papers or reports. He would do anything to destroy my grades. Taeil, he was book smart and before he joined block b I always stood up for him when others called him a nerd. Then he became just like the rest. Ukwon, he's nice and adorable and innocent but he always threw something at me or passed notes to me to get me in trouble. Because of him my permanent record is trash. P.O , he's so tall that he always put my stuff on the top shelf. Id be late to class everyday because of him. B-bomb, he called me ugly everyday. The girls would cover him and because of him I was voted ugliest kid in school. Jaehyo, jaehyo never even speaks at all, he joins in on the kicking sometimes but other than that he does nothing and everybody still loves him. Got7 oh got7, they may of got here late but they caused just as much damage to me as the rest. Bambam, the cutie pie boy that could never hate on anyone right? Once he pulled out a whole lock of my hair and laughed as my head bled. He smashed my face on a table until I chipped my teeth he was terrible. Yugyeom, he would follow me into the bathroom and laugh at me for hours when I cried. Mark, Mark is a sweetheart don't get me wrong. But there were times when he laughed. He could've done something, he's the teacher's pet , he could've told the principal or somebody that this was going on. Jackson, jackson is the scariest kid I ever met. He's been in fist fights , he could kill me if he wanted to just like JB. He never physically touched me but he made me do everything. I failed classes because I didn't have enough time to do both his paper and mine. Luckily the teachers knew I was better than that and I didn't get held back. Youngjae, he would do something wrong and always blame it on me. After that graffiti incident he blamed me for I got a week of detention with guess who? Block b. Jr, he doesn't care. I get he's changed and he did I can tell but, when we were alone because the others were sick he would give me the worst beatings of my life. I know he regrets all of that but he doesn't know how to express his emotions. He's probably in there right now freaking out because he misses JB but he also hates him at the same time. He doesn't say anything because he can't. Oh and JB, JB is pretty much the only one being real with me. I have a bond with JB I've never had with anybody else. It's like we know eachother. You may not understand that because you only see him as the monster that put me in the coma. He ruined my life too but sometimes I have to get over stuff. That's what you all expect me to do right? A year and get over it? Pretend the last 3 to 12 years never happened? Because why? Because you said you were sorry? Jungkook you guys don't understand the difference between forgive and forget. I forgive you , that means all the things you've done to me I don't hate you for it. But I won't forget it. That means you can't fix me all the way. I may recover but I won't be the same. I won't pretend what you did to me never happened. All we can do is try to change right? So Jungkook I'm not going to chase you anymore. Go to V , you always liked him more than me anyways," I finished turning away. By now the tears were falling from his eyes and my eyes were watering too. I turned back to say one more thing ," Jungkook, I know you're recording this on your phone because you always do that when you get scared something violent is going to happen. I know you more than you know yourself Jungkook . You used to be the reason I existed. But sometimes things happen and you just Realize although you love them, they won't ever love you back. So Jungkook I'm never ever gonna hurt you. But I want you to show that recording to everyone in there. If they want to know why I'm away or hiding something, tell them that's why. They should know too Jungkook," I said storming off.

It felt good to let that all out but I just made things worse. They're never gonna forgive themselves now. And it's all my fault. My fault. No. For years I thought everything was my fault but it's not. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes life hits you with a hurdle and you have to jump over it. And when you reach the finish line you realize, you've finally made it.