Jimin POV ~

It's been three days since I've seen JB. Well anybody for that matter.  Every time somebody stops by I never answer the door. I get texts but I don't reply. I don't know. I'm not mad. I'm just trying to figure things out. In a few years I'll be out of highschool. Will they still be there for me then? Will we still be together then? It's not really depression or anxiety I'm feeling it's just ... Confusion.

So much has happened in the last year. I try to put the sadness in the back of my head but it doesn't help. I try to smile but I always have to make sure this is real. I live in constant fear that my world will fall apart again. I still text Jb to make sure he's okay but that's just something to keep my mind off everything. The members ask why I've been so quiet and like I said I ignore them. I just want peace and quiet. I trust them. I've forgiven them even though I know I shouldn't of. The problem is I don't trust them with JB. JB is scared they'll hurt him and he has a right to be. I know they would do it just to protect me but I don't want pain coming on anybody else. JB is a good person he's just in pain like me. He's been through abuse and pain and he doesn't need anymore of it. If they hurt him we'll be right where we started.

I want things to go back to normal to be honest. It was easier. Just bring me back to when they were bullying me but JB still had friends. Jin didn't have to keep secrets and Namjoon wasn't trying to make up for everything he did. Jackson was still scary and Zico was still stupid. I'd rather go back to all that pain and regret than live with this confusion and every second having to worry about how others are feeling. I'm not gonna let it bother me anymore. If I ever want to be happy than I have to stop worrying about everything.

I have a new look I should have a new personality too. I guess It's official, I'm not gonna care anymore. I'll do what I want to do, not what others peer pressure me into doing.  The question is, what do I want to do? I need to keep my priorities straight.

1) keep this I don't care attitude. 
2) keep JB safe from the others. 
3) try to convince the members to forgive JB but not be so obvious that I know where he's at. 
4) make everybody be friends again. 

Not a bad list. Now I have to actually stick to this list. 
I quickly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I wasn't sleeping I just think best when I'm laying on my bed. I quickly combed through my hair and ran out the door. I had to find the members. I don't know why but I wanted to find the members , before they find JB.