Seungho’s POV

“Morning, sweetheart~” I stretched my aching back as I sat up.

I miss sleeping on the bed, but what choice do I have when she does not sleep anywhere else but in that fort.

Minki was already awake, hugging her teddy bear and looking at something.

“What are you looking at, sweet?” I asked as I crawled over to her.

I pulled her onto my lap from  behind and snuggled my face into her neck, inhaling her ‘baby smell’.

“Mmm you smell so baby-ish~” I said.

She elbowed my ribs and tried to struggle away, perhaps irritated by the fact my moustache was tickling her.

“Does it tickle you?” I by snuggling my chin against her neck.

She chuckled as she tried to struggle away, hitting me blindly.

“Ouch ouch!” I caught her wrists gently.

“Why are you up so early hmm?” I asked, smoothing her hair.

She looked up at me, and then raised a piece of something.

“What’s this? Was it what you have been staring at?” I asked, taking the piece from her.

It was a photo. It was not just any photo, but it was a photo of Minji and I. I had no idea where she got it from.

“Where did you get this from, sweetheart?” I asked, staring at the photo.

It has been two years since Minji’s gone. To say that I have gotten over it would be a big, fat lie. More than gotten over, I think I just suppressed it. Suppressed the fact that I miss her so much I cry every night in my dreams. But in reality, there were no tears at all.

Minki leaned against my chest and let out an audible sigh. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and rested my chin on her head.

“You want to know who this is?” I asked her, my thumb circling over Minji’s face.

“Her name is Minji. Similar to yours, right?” I said.

Minki slide down to lie in my arms, her both feet raised to cup my cheeks.

“What sort of a position is this?” I asked.

She just chuckled and continue squeezing my cheeks with her feet.

“Do you want to know who is she or not?” I asked after awhile.

She rested her feet on my chest and stared at me.

“She’s your umma.” I said, staring Minji’s face.

“She was the one who fought to keep you, who struggled to bring you to this world. She’s very brave, isn’t she?” I showed her the photo.

She took the photo from me and stared at me.

“Repeat after me. Umma~” I said, pointing to Minji.

“Mmm~” She poked the photo.

“Umma.” I repeated again.

“Mmm~” She grabbed her teddy bear and ran back into her fort together with the photo.

I sat at where I was, watching her stare at the photo inside her fort. Minji, I miss you. Have you been well?

***
Since I was put on a hiatus, I took care of Minki on my own. I could have took her out every day to do fun stuff but I am too scared. As stupid as it may sound, the girls’ threat did scare me. I could not risk anything happening to Minki. I became a little too paranoid for my own liking, but I could not help it.

Minki was restless at home. It was just me and her all day long. She threw many tantrums, pleading in her gibberish words for me to bring her out, but I did not give in. I was dead bored at home too, but I rather she get angry with me than risk losing her.

“No, sweetheart. We’re not going out.” I said.

She screamed, threw stuff and ended up crying.

“Peeeeleaseeeeeeeee!!!” She kicked the door and cried.

“Sorry, sweetheart. Sorry.” I carried her up, trying to hush her.

She struggled and punched me wildly. For a two-year old, she sure has a lot of strength. When I still did not give in, she sank her teeth into my shoulder, biting down on me hard. I bit down on my jaw to endure the pain. I was reminded of the time Minji bit me during labour. Both mother and daughter possess the same strength.

“Peeelease~~” She cried, her tears soaking my neck.

I felt terrible having my daughter beg me like this.

“Alright, alright. Stop crying. We’ll go out. Erm… how about to your MBLAQ ahjusshis’?” I asked as I wiped her tears.

She looked at me, still sniffing.

“You can play with them there. Is it okay?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Go grab teddy friend.” I said, letting her down.

She grabbed her teddy by its head and came towards me. I laughed at the way she held the toy.

“Teddy will be in pain if you grab it like this.” I said, making her teddy’s hand instead.

She hugged the teddy close to her chest, looking at me, her cheeks tear stained. I wiped her face before bringing her down.

“So, finally letting her out?” G.O asked as he bounced Minki on his lap.

“Say whatever you want.” I mumbled, looking away.

“Hey, I don’t mean it that way.” He said.

“I know. It’s just… Ahh I’m being paranoid, but I couldn’t help it.” I said.

“I MADE MASHED POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Cheondong yelled.

“Minki ah! Minki, are you hungwee?” Cheondong asked in a disgusting sounding kiddish voice.

G.O and I cringed, but Minki giggled.

“Let’s go eat, shall we?” Cheondong said, pulling Minki out of G.O’s arms.

“HEY! I WAS PLAYING WITH HER!” G.O shouted.

“Play later. Eat first. Am I right?” Cheondong said, snuggling his face into Minki’s stomach, causing loud laughter from the girl.

For the past few days she has been gloomy all because I was being paranoid and kept her in the house like a criminal. But seeing her laugh now, I realize how much I miss her smile.

“Look at how happy she is.” G.O said as we watch Mir, Joon and Cheondong take turns to feed her.

“I think they are happier.” I said.

“Of course.” He said, looking at me.

“What?”  I asked.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Any more threats?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“Good.” He smiled.

“I’m going to lie on my bed for awhile. It’s been long since I actually lied on a bed.” I said, ruffling Minki’s hair before going to my room.

My room still looks like how I left it. Some of my stuff still lay around. I lie on my bed, propping my head up on my arms as I stared up at the ceiling. I remember the times I use to lie in bed with Minji. We would be silent at first, and then one of us will start a leg fight. We would kick each other as we stared at the ceiling, trying not to laugh. One of us would end up bursting into laughter, and that person would always be her. Then, the cuddling will start.

My finger circled the empty area she used to lay. I miss her so much.

I lost myself staring at the ceiling, thinking back of the times Minji and I use to spend in this room. But despite the aching in my heart, there were still no tears. Have I lost the ability to cry? I sighed and turned to the door to find a small figure peeking her head in, looking at me.

I pat the empty side of my bed, gesturing her to come. She looked a little unsure at first, but came anyway. She climbed into bed and lied down next to me, her teddy bear hugged tightly against her chest. We remained silent, like how Minji and I would. Then she kicked my thigh. I smiled to myself at how alike she is to her mother. I could not kick her, so instead I poked her arm. We continued until she started laughing and hitting me with her teddy bear.

“Little girl~” I grabbed her wrists gently. She was giggling like crazy.

I ended up laughing as well. I lean in to kiss her on her forehead.

“You know, you’re so like your Mummy.” I said.

She rolled off the bed and walked around my room, dragging her teddy along. I watch her look at my stuff and picking up whatever that interest her. In the end, she started piling my caps on her head. She turned to me with six caps on her head, struggling hard to actually see because the caps were obviously too big for her that they cover her eyes. I laughed so hard I hit my head against the wall.

“Come here!” I said, rubbing the back of my head while gesturing her over.

I took the caps off her head and adjusted one of it to the smallest to fit her head. It was still big, obviously.

“Wait.” I said, rummaging through my stuff.

“Don’t move.” I said as I secured the cap on her head to her size with a safety pin.

“There!” I said, pointing at the mirror.

“WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” She ran out of the room to show off her new look to her ahjusshis.

I stood at the corner watching the boys play with her.

“Hyung, did you poke a safety pin through your cap?” Joon asked.

I nodded.

“Wah~ Minki ah~ Only for you.” Cheondong said.

“Of course.” I winked at Minki.

I sat at the corner, watching them play. I never understood how Junhyung could amuse himself so much watching his kids play with each other.

‘They are not even playing with you. Why are you so happy like you’re part of it?’ I used to ask him when I find him smiling to himself like a fool.

‘I am part of it.’ He would always say, and then burst into laughter when his kids laugh.

But now I know why. Watching them play is indeed amusing, and although I am not physically part of it, I am mentally.

“Hello?” I answered when my phone rang.

It was from an unknown number.

“Oppa~” The voice called out.

I froze.

“Oppa!” The voice called out again, louder this time.

I stood up hurriedly and went to my room.

“How did you get my number?” I asked, feeling my heart race.

“We are resourceful fans, you know.” She said.

I could hear laughter from the background. She is not alone.

“What do you want?” I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Why do you sound so tense? We’re just having a party and we would like to invite you.” She said.

“It’s fine.” I said.

“Really? It’s fine?” She asked.

I bit hard on my lower lip, feeling angry at myself for allowing them to threaten me like this.

“Oppa, you’ll come, right?” She asked.

“When?” I asked.

“Tonight.” She said.

“Where?” I asked.

“I’ll text you the address. Come alone, get it? We’ll see you!” She ended the call.

I dropped my phone on my bed. I went back out and pretended to look normal. But I cannot help but wonder, would tonight be my last night alive?

***
I came up with a crappy reason to get the boys to help me take care of Minki for the night. I knew they were suspicious, but they did not press on. We respected each other’s privacy. I drove to the address, which was not far from our dorm.

I got out from the car and looked around. This place is close to forgotten. It is so out of sight that even if I died here today, it would take a few days for people to actually find me. I found my way to the address. It was an abandoned shop. I could hear their laughter from outside despite the shutter.

I stood outside for awhile, before knocking on the shutter. It opened almost immediately, as thou someone was there already waiting for me.

“You’re finally here.” One of the girls, I assume she is the leader, said.

The smell of alcohol and cigarette filled the room. They were clearly underage. Then again, how are they innocent girls when they are plotting to kill me?

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just have some fun.” She walked towards me, handing a cup of clear liquid.

“Bleach again?” I asked.

If I was going to die tonight, I have nothing else to fear.

She laughed and shook her head.

“Bleach later. Vodka now.” She said, eyeing me to drink it.

I gulped the cup of Vodka, wincing at the burning feeling it left on my throat.

“I don’t understand.” I said, putting the cup down.

“Don’t understand what?” She asked.

“Why don’t you just kill me? Why do you bother to even threaten me?” I asked.

“Killing you would be a crime.” She said.

“Aren’t you already committing a crime?” I asked.

They burst into laughter.

“How?” She asked.

“You forced me to drink bleach. Although diluted, it’s still considered a crime, no?” I asked.

“Forced you!?” She pretended to look surprise.

“Did we force our Oppa to do anything?” She asked the girls behind.

They smirked and shook her head.

“You drank it on your own. You’re suicidal.” She said, poking my chest.

I get it now. I shook my head and laughed, unable to believe it.

“We are really your fans, you know.” She said, arms crossed.

“Really?” I asked.

“Of course. Until you betrayed us.” She said, narrowing her eyes.

“I betrayed you? How?” I asked.

“You went around and slept with another girl, even have a kid with her! If this is not betrayal, then what!?” She pushed me.

I was not expecting it. I fell to the floor. I mentally slapped myself for putting myself in such an unfavorable situation. They started hovering over me. I could not even run now.

“Look at you! Our Oppa is not that weak! But look at you now!!” She kicked me my side.

I winced in pain, holding onto my side while staring at her.

“What did the girl do to you!? What did the baby do to you!? How dare you betray us like this!?” She shouted into my face.

“YOU’RE DELUSIONAL!!!!” I shouted back.

I tried to get up but I was pushed back down. They started kicking me and shouting insults into my face. I cannot believe that I would end up like this. I shielded my face with my arms while they kicked me. After they were done, one of them squatted down in front of me, pulling me up by the neck of my shirt.

“If we cannot have you, don’t expect anyone to be able to get you.” She whispered into my ear.

Hands started groping me all over. I struggled and tried to yell but my mouth was covered by someone’s hand.

‘Be careful.’ Minji would always tell me before I leave for any performances or fan meetings.

‘What could happen?’ I always laugh.

‘You think I’m joking?’ She asked one day, looking serious.

‘No. I just.. They’re just girls. Our fans, to be exact. They wouldn’t harm us.’ I said.

‘If you think this way, then you’re wrong. Believe it or not, girls are not as innocent as you think they are. And, if you want to compare the percentage of evilness between males and females, then you’ll be surprised. It’s just that girls hide it and unleash it all at once when needed while guys show off to the world how evil they can be.’ She said.

I always thought she was being paranoid, but today I know she was not. She was being dead serious, and I took her words for a joke.

“Mmmm!!!” I tried to struggle away from their grip, but they grabbed on me tighter, digging their nails into my skin.

“Why are you denying us, Oppa? Shouldn’t you be happy? Don’t guys yearn for all these? Hmm?” One of the girls asked as she slipped her hand into my jeans and dug her sharp nails into my thigh.

My scream was muffled. My breath was getting choppier. All I could see was their evil smirks as they violated me. In no time, my shirt was torn off. They started scratching and pinching me. The more I tried to struggle, the more pain they inflict on me.

“Don’t. Move. Or I’ll cut you.” One of them hissed as she flicked open a Swiss Army knife.

I froze at the sight of it.

“Oppa, you’re so handsome, your blood must be sweet, right?” She smiled, tracing the tip of the blade across my chest.

I could feel myself shaking. The more I tremble, the more entertained they were.

“Why are you so bias, Oppa? Why is it that you allow another girl to have with you, even have your child, but you wouldn’t even allow us to touch you? Oppa, why? WHY!?” She shouted into my face as she stabbed the blade into my side.

The palm over my mouth was removed. I cried out in pain.

“You don’t like it rough? I bet you do. Look at you, so happy.” One of them said.

I gasped when I felt something wet against my stomach, like as thou someone was me. I looked down to find one of the girls her way to my bleeding wound.

“STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I yelled and struggled.

“Shut up!” I was slapped across my cheek.

I stared at whoever who slapped me.

“What are you staring at huh?” She said, grabbing me by my hair and crashing my head against the hard floor.

My head numbed and for a few second, I could hear or see nothing. Did she crack my skull? When my senses regained, I realized that they were trying to force a bottle of something down my throat. Two pair of hands held onto my head while the others tied up my wrists and legs and press me down on my chest.

“Have a drink, Oppa.” One of them said.

Bleach. Pure.

“No!” I struggled and kept turning my head away.

A hand grabbed my cheeks, forcing my mouth open. I choked on the bleach as I tried to block it out with my tongue. I swallowed some against my will thou. I had bleach all over my face, even inside my nose. I closed my eyes to protect them, but they still manage to burn me.

In the midst of the torturing, I heard the shutter open roughly, and then everything stopped. Am I dead yet?

“Unnie!!!!” I heard a voice yell cheerfully. The voice sounded extremely familiar.

“Who the hell are you!?” The one who was gagging me with bleach yelled.

She stood up, lifting her weight off my chest. I could at least breathe now. I tried to turn to see who it was, but my head felt like a thousand tons.

“Your worst nightmare.” The voice said. I did not need to look to know she was smirking as she said that.

I heard a lot of shouting, as thou they were fighting. I forced my head to turn and through blurred eyes, indeed, I saw them fighting. I was on the verge of passing out, but I forced myself to stay awake.

“Are you alright!? Yah! Yang Seungho!” I felt someone cup my cheeks and shaking me.

So familiar.

“Did you drink any bleach? Did you!?” She yelled.

“Mmm..” It was the only sound I could make out.

“. I told you didn’t I? I told you that girls were the most evil beings on earth and that you should be careful! So much for innocence!” She grumbled.

I tried to rub my eyes to see who it was but my hand got smacked away.

“Are you trying to blind yourself!?” She scolded.

I blurrily saw one of the girls approaching her with a bat in her hand. Whomever that came to my aid obviously was oblivious to the situation. I found strength in me to push her away just before the bat came in contact with her back. I choked as I took the blow on my stomach.

“YOU BLOODY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The girl shouted.

I grabbed her hand before she could run after them.

“Let… go.” I choked out.

“YOU CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY IDIOT!!!” She screamed at me as she cradled me in her arms, her warm hand rubbing my stomach.

“Minji… Are you… Minji?” I asked.

I could not see properly, but everything about this girl is so familiar. I wanted to touch her face, but she pushed my hand away.

“I’m warning you, stay alive, Lucky. You better stay alive.” She said before letting me lie down on the floor properly.

“Minji…” I grabbed air.

The figure disappeared and I was all alone.

Was in all in my head? Am I dying? Because they say when you are dying, you will watch your life play before your eyes, and then you will see your regrets. Minji is the biggest regret of my life, because I did nothing for her but let her down.