Minji’s POV

They stared at me with dropped jaws.

“You…” Doojoon muttered.

The silence in the room was eerie.

“Hey.. Please. I thought I just said not to treat me differently.” I broke the silence.

I turned to Seungho, who was still not looking at me.

“You guys don’t have to look like that. It’s not like I’m going to die tomorrow.” I said.

They looked up at me with wide eyes. Haneul looked teary.

“Please don’t cry.” I went up to her and gave her a hug.

“Please say you’re kidding.” She muttered.

“Sorry.” I said.

I pulled away from her and let Junhyung hug her.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I said to him. He was giving me those apologetic eyes in which I really hate.

“Look guys, the reason why I’m telling you guys this, is definitely not to spoil your mood, neither is it to gain sympathy.” I said.

“But…” Mir muttered.

“But! I’m not going to die tomorrow or next week, so please, please, please don’t treat me differently.” I tried to aegyo a little, but they still seemed upset.

“She’s still Minji, whether leukemia or not.” Seungho opened his mouth, finally.

They turned to look at him. He smiled weakly at me, arm stretched out, gesturing me over.

“You knew?” Junhyung asked.

“Of course.” Seungho said softly, kissing me on my forehead.

“I just thought I should not be hiding anything from you guys, since… we’re friends.. or.. are we, not?” I asked.

“Of course we’re friends!” Joon said loudly.

“Then don’t treat me differently. Don’t look at me with those eyes. Let what I just told you go, don’t dwell on it. Okay?” I said.

When we were leaving, Junhyung came up to me and hugged me really tightly. I was so stunned I could not even breath.

“Stay strong for yourself, Seungho hyung, and all of us, okay? Don’t be my fan anymore. Be my friend instead.” He whispered before pulling away.

“I…” I was too stunned to speak.

“Okay?” He asked.

I nodded robotically, still in shock.

We bid goodbye and went separate ways.

***
“What did Junhyung say to you just now?” Seungho asked when we were alone in a café nearby.

“What?” I asked, poking my straw into his drink and drinking from his cup instead.

“What did he tell you when he hugged you?” He asked, sounding a little impatient.

“Why do you guys drink something that’s so gross?” I asked, regretting the fact I even tried his Iced Americano.

“Answer me.” He said. He sounded like he would shout if we were not in public.

I looked up at him and smiled.

“He said…” I muttered.

“What?” He asked.

I beckon him to come closer.

“He said…” I whispered into his ear.

“What?” He asked again.

“He said that… Seungho hyung… is actually…” I whispered.

“Actually what?” He frowned.

“Actually a… very, very… cute panda.” I whispered.

He stared at me while I laughed my head off.

“I’m serious, you know.” He said, trying to suppress his laughter.

“Really!” I said.

He sighed and stirred his drink.

“Alright, alright. He just asked me to be strong and all.. You know, the usual stuff you say to someone who is dying.” I said casually.

“Please don’t say that.” He muttered.

“Sorry.” I poked his index finger.

“Don’t drink that thing. It’s so disgusting.” I said.

“It’s nice.” He said, sipping the disgusting brown liquid.

“Eww~ Anyway, he also asked me to not be his fan.” I said.

“Really?” He asked, sounding a little too happy.

“Yea, he said to be his friend instead.” I said.

“Ugh~ No. Just stick to being his fan. It’s more than enough.” He said.

“What!?” I laughed, smacking his arm.

Seungho’s POV

She rode back, and I insisted to accompany her. I did not feel good letting her come back alone at such timing.

“How are you going to go back now?” She asked, looking at me.

“I don’t wish to go back.” I muttered under my breath.

“You don’t wish to?” She asked.

I bit my lower lip and looked at her.

“Let’s sit down then!” She said, sitting on the ground.

“Hey! Get up! It’s dirty!” I laughed at her sudden action as I pulled her up.

“Then what do you want to do!?” She laughed as well.

“I… don’t know. Maybe I’ll.. just go.” I said.

“But how can I let my boyfriend go off when he is sulking like that!?” She stretched the corner of my lips.

“I’m not sulking~” I spoke through stretched lips.

“You actually look more handsome like that, you know.” She teased said.

My eyes widened.

“Kidding. You look better like this.” She squashed my cheeks.

“Itsh pwainpul..” I tried to speak.

“Stay over?” She asked.

My eyes widened and I choked on my own breath. I coughed awkwardly because she was squashing on my cheeks.

***

“Can I ask you something?” I asked as we cuddled on her bed.

Since my schedules were in the afternoon the next day, I decided I could stay over at her place.

“Ask anything.” She said, playing with my shirt.

“Are you scared?” I asked.

“Of what? Death?” She asked.

I nodded.

She laughed out.

“Is it even possible to not be afraid of something you don’t know the outcome to? I mean, all of us don’t know what lies after you close your eyes forever. There might or might not be another world, you know.” She said.

“Why… don’t you seek treatment? Or something like that?” I asked.

She sighed and patted my chest.

“It’s okay if you don’t wish to say.” I mumbled.

“There is nothing you cannot know, darling.” She said, propping herself up on her elbows.

I looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I was pretty much born with leukemia. Ever since I could remember stuff, I have been diagnosed with leukemia.” She said.

I felt like as thou someone squeezed my heart.

“From young…” I muttered.

“My best days were spent in the hospital.” She laughed.

“Sorry.” I said, touching her cheek.

“Don’t apologize, unless it was you who caused me to be like that.” She said.

“No~~” I said.

“Then don’t apologize.” She poked my nose.

“Anyway….” She continued.

“I guess leukemia for me is here to stay. This is my… let’s see… third, or fourth relapse?” She said.

“Third or fourth!?” I pretty much shouted.

She laughed and covered my mouth.

“I’ve did all sorts of therapy, had whatever transplant, and failed. I guess, it’s just how my life is supposed to be.” She said, lying in my arms.

“But don’t give up.” I said, pulling her close to me.

“I’m not giving up. I’m just… not doing anything about it.” She smiled.

I sighed and she slapped my stomach.

“I’m on medication, silly. But that’s all.” She said.

“Don’t you… want to live longer?” I asked softly.

“Who doesn’t? But is it my call? It’s not.” She said.

“How… long?” I asked timidly.

“What how long?” She asked.

“Live…” I muttered.

“How long of life do I still have?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Why? So you can calculate how long you need to find another girl as a replacement?” She said, looking up at me.

“NO!” I yelled, feeling offended.

“Hey, I was just teasing. Sorry.” She looked at me.

“Don’t ever say that. I.. I’m not even thinking about anything like that.” I said, looking away.

“Alright, I’m sorry.” She kissed me on my cheek.

“Sorry I yelled.” I apologized.

“I deserve it.” She smiled.

“You don’t.” I shook my head.

“Okay enough.” She covered my face with her palms.

She removed her palms from my face a few seconds later and sat up, legs crossed.

“I don’t know how long I have left.” She said.

“Don’t know?” I asked.

“Yea, I really don’t know.” She said.

“Oh.” I mumbled.

“But it’s not going to be tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.” She laughed.

“Okay~” I smiled, pulling her to lie down.

“It doesn’t matter how long, as long as it is you, everyday is infinite.” I whispered into her ear and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

“Why infinite? Is it because I’m so boring that one day with me feels like forever?” She asked.

“Yah! Minji!” I got pissed at the fact she had to spoil the moment.

“Kidding!!!” She giggled.

Those giggles were enough to put a smile on my face. I wish I would be able to hear it forever. 

***
MInji: Don’t drink that thing. It’s so disgusting.