Seungho’s POV

She dropped the canvas, and headed over to the bench. I picked it up and went to sit beside her. I watch helplessly she bury her face in her palms, her shoulders raising and falling in a slow motion, as thou she was trying to control her cries.

After a while, she looked up at me and offered me a weak smile. I searched my pockets for tissue, and fortunately, I had some.

“Here.” I said awkwardly as I hand the piece of tissue to her.

“Thanks.” She mumbled, taking the tissue from me to dap her cheeks.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She looked at me.

“Of course not. Yang Seungho, you dummy.” I mumbled.

She chuckled, to my surprise.

“Funny?” I asked, smiling.

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m glad you’re smiling, at least.” I said, patting her head lightly.

She smiled, and then sighed as she looked at the destroyed art piece in front of us.

“What… happened?” I asked softly.

“I did not protect it well. My fault.” She said, stepping the side lightly.

“It looks like someone deliberately destroyed it.” I said.

She nodded.

“So, who?” I asked.

She looked at me, as thou not wanting to answer, but her actions told me her answer. She turned to the left, which was where she came from, which was also the direction towards the restaurant where the owner has some serious attitude issues.

“No one.” She turned back to me, smiling.

“Alright.” I smiled, playing along with her.

She looked down at her feet, kicking air.

“Come, I’ll buy you food?” I asked.

She turned to me, smiling brightly.

“What are you? A puppy? So excited at the sound of food?” I laughed.

“Meh~” She stuck out her tongue at me.

“Meh is the response for everything and food is the cure for all emotions?” I asked.

She nodded.

“That’s pretty easy to please.” I said, picking up her canvas.

She shrugged her shoulders.

We headed to an eatery nearby. It was midnight, therefore there were not many people around.

“You paint for a living?” I asked while we waited for the food to arrive.

“Sort of.” She said, staring at the cup of water as thou she has never seen water before.

“You live alone?” I asked.

“Kind of.” She said, playing with the chopsticks now.

“Why do you act crazy?” I asked.

She looked up at me.

“Act?” She asked.

I nodded.

“You’re not crazy, aren’t you? Then why do you act crazy?” I asked.

“Who told you I am not crazy?” She asked.

“Erm… It’s obvious?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“By far, you’re the only one who finds me normal. You’re the only one who would sit across the table with me for a meal. What makes you think I am normal? Perhaps you’re the insane one.” She said.

“Huh?” I looked at her, confused.

She shook her head, giggling.

“You’re not crazy.” I said softly.

“I am.” She said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the society said so.” She said.

“What has this got to do with the society?” I asked.

“Everything.” She said.

I looked at her, waiting for an explanation.

“Because I don’t meet the society’s expectation of a normal person, therefore no matter how normal I actually am, I am crazy in their eyes. It is a label they slapped onto me whether I liked it or not.” She said.

“And so? You just let them bully you?” I asked, feeling a little agitated.

“Well, it doesn’t hurt me, physically. If it makes them feel more comfortable, does it matter?” She said.

“OF COURSE!” I slammed my palm against the table.

She did not even seem startled, as thou expecting such a reaction.

“How could you let people bully you? How could you let people treat you the way you don’t deserve to be treated? How could you let them do this to you?” I asked, obviously angry.

“To survive.” She said, handing me a cup of water.

“What?” I asked.

I gulped down the cup of water.

“I’m not acting crazy or what, I’m simply being myself. Perhaps my behavior is not acceptable to the mass public, therefore they call me crazy. Of course I could stand up for myself, but wouldn’t that make them hate me even more? Why should I stand up for something that I obviously know would not have a good outcome to? I’m not trying to be a hero here, I’m just trying to survive.” She said.

“I…” I was lost for words.

“Of course we all want to be treated fairly. But really, nothing is fair. Even birds that seems to be carefree are chained to the skies. You are a celebrity, but you’re human too, and yet your freedom is being robbed off just because of your job, is it fair? No. But what can you do about it? People will always have their opinions about you despite who you are and what you’re capable of. Fairness is just something people fight for in order to fill that particular emptiness in them, but deep down we all know nothing is fair.” She said.

“If you can’t change the situation, then change yourself. I cannot change how other people see me, because that is their choice. I can tell them I am not crazy but they aren’t going to trust me because deep in their minds, they have already told themselves that I am crazy. Instead of trying to change something that I cannot handle, isn’t it easier to change myself?” She continued.

I looked at her, not knowing what to say.

“But doesn’t it hurt? Getting insulted and bullied like that.” I mumbled.

“It hurts so bad, but then? If I cry, would they stop?” She asked.

I shook my head slightly.

“There, you know it, don’t you?” She smiled.

“But you cannot let them treat you like that for the rest of your life.” I said.

“It’s not that long after all.” She said.

“What?” I asked, shocked.

“Noth… nothing.” She said hurriedly.

I was about to question further, but the food came, taking away my chance.

“Weee!!” She clapped her hands like a kid.

“Eat up.” I laughed at her action.

She held onto the chopsticks, and stared at the food.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“I’m thinking.” She said.

“About?” I asked.

“Which to eat first.” She said.

I laughed out. Of all things to think about. This girl is weird.

“Your favourite.” I suggested.

“Everything is my favourite!” She said, pouting slightly, making me want to pinch her cheeks.

“Okay, close your eyes.” I said.

“Why?” She asked.

“Just close your eyes.” I said.

“Are you going to prank me or something?” She asked.

“I don’t do such things. Quick, close your eyes!” I said.

She closed her eyes, but tried to peep.

“No peeping!” I covered her eyes with my palm.

“Open your mouth.” I said.

“What are you trying to do?!” She tried to pull my hand down, but I pressed my palm against her eyes harder, but not hard enough to cause her pain, hopefully.

“Just do as I say.” I said.

“What if you poison me? I still have to go according to your wishes? I’m like digging my own grave!” She argued.

“Poison you? With what? My saliva or something?” I laughed.

“Who knows.” She giggled.

“Open your mouth, quick!” I demanded.

She did as she was told. I looked at the variety of food in front of me.

“Wasker! I kelaiver ish gripin!” She said with open.

“What?” I laughed.

“FASTER! MY SALIVA IS DRIPPING!” She said properly.

“Oh! Hahaha! Then let it drip.” I teased.

She kicked my shin.

“Owwww!!” I winced in pain.

“You could have prevented that.” She said with a smile.

“Hur! Open your mouth!” I said.

I fed her a slice of kimchi pancake.

“Mmm!! Niceuuuu!!” She smiled.

“Like it?” I asked.

“Favourite!” She said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes! Your turn!” She said excitedly.

“What?” I asked.

“Your turn!” She slapped her palm against my eyes, not bothering whether I was okay with it or not. But then again, of course I am okay with it.

“Ahhhh~” She said.

I opened my mouth and chewed onto what she fed me, but regretted instantly.

“What the!!!” I almost cursed. My mouth was on fire.

She was a laughing mess while I drank the cold water straight from the bottle.

“How could you!?” I frowned, my mouth still burning.

She fed me a lettuce wrap consisting of green chili, garlic and a lot of chili sauce.

“Aigoo, so lousy. Cannot even handle a bit of chili.” She said.

“What?! Fine. Your turn.” I said, picking up my chopsticks.

She shook her head and moved away.

“You don’t have a choice, little girl.” I smirked as I pulled her closer, slapping my palm over her eyes.

“Open your mouth.” I said.

“Nooooo~” She whined.

“Come on. You have to be fair.” I said.

“Nothing is fair.” She laughed.

“That’s true. I gave you food and you gave me chili. How is it fair?” I said.

“Chili is food too.” She giggled.

“Mmm yea. Open your mouth, before I open it for you.” I said, squashing her cheeks lightly.

She opened unwillingly.

I dipped my chopsticks in the chili sauce and tapped it on her tongue slightly, letting her have a little taste of her own medicine.

“Hurhur~” She frowned.

“Spicy, right?” I said.

“No.” She laughed.

I shoved a piece of meat into anyway.

We continued playing like this throughout supper.

“Enough!!!” I said with my mouth half full.

She must be full already because she kept shoving food into my mouth.

“Not yet! Wait!” She laughed as she shoved another piece of something into my mouth.

“SKOP!!” I choked out.

“More? Okay!” She teased.

“MMMMPFFFF!!!” I struggled.

My cheeks were puffed and I could hardly chew. She was laughing really happily.

“You really enjoy it, don’t you?” I asked after I finally swallowed whatever she fed.

She grinned, shrugging her shoulders.

***

“What?” I asked as she handed me money.

“For food.” She said.

“No.” I pushed her hand away.

She frowned and blocked my way.

“Take it!” She demanded.

This is the first time ever since we met I seen her frown and demand like that.

“No.” I said firmly.

She glared at me.

“What? I said I would treat you, right?” I said, feeling a little scared at her glare.

“I didn’t agree to it!” She said.

“Take it as my payment for the onigiri last week then.” I said.

“It was just one onigiri, not one carton!” She insisted.

“I’ll treat you this one, and then next time we’ll pay on our own, if it makes you feel better.” I said.

“There will be no more next time if you don’t take the money!” She said.

“Why are you so angry?” I asked.

“I’m not angry. Just, take the money, please.” She said, pushing the money to me.

I sighed, knowing I had to give in if I wanted to see her again.

“It wasn’t that expensive. You could buy the whole restaurant with this.” I said, taking 20,000 won out of the 50,000 won she tried to shove to me.

“I didn’t know the restaurant is only worth 50,000. The owner would not be pleased to hear it.” She laughed.

I smiled at her.

“Oh, shall we get dessert!?” She beamed, expression totally different from before. How did she manage to change so quickly?

“I thought you said you were so full you could drop dead?” I asked.

“There’s always room for dessert!” She pointed excitedly at the waffles café.

How could I say no?

“Then, can I buy you dessert?” I asked.

She bit her lower lip, looking a little unsure.

“Please?” I said.

She still was not saying anything.

“You really want that delicious waffles, don’t you?” I tempted her.

“I can pay for waffles.” She said.

“It’ll be nicer if someone else’s pay for it.” I said.

“Not true.” She said.

“Let me prove it.” I said.

“How?” She asked.

“I’ll pay, and you’ll know.” I said.

“Mehhhhhh~~~” She whined as I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the café.

She was making faces at me while we waited for the waffles to arrive, while I just smiled. When the waffles came, I cut a slice and fed her.

“Is it nicer?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I have to buy one on my own to judge.” She said while chewing.

“Don’t bother, I’m telling you, this is nicer.” I said, feeding her another slice.

She laughed, looking helpless. I won~

***
“I’m so full I could dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~” She said.

“You said that awhile ago, and then you saw waffles and went mad.” I said.

“Oh ya.” She laughed, as thou forgetting her actions.

We walked in silence, enjoying the night breeze, until she suddenly stopped.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

She took the canvas that I was holding for her and headed over to the rubbish chute.

“What are you doing!?” I stopped her.

“There’s no use for this anymore.” She said softly, tossing the canvas into the pile of rubbish.

“NO!!!” I yelled, but was obviously too late.

“It’s your hard work! How could you just throw it away like that!?” I asked.

“Sometimes, we just need to let go, despite how painful it is.” She said.

I did not say further, because I saw her eyes watered. I knew she was hurting badly. I walked her back to her apartment.

“Supper was fun.” I said.

“Thank you for dessert.” She said.

“No problem.” I smiled.

“Can I borrow your phone?” She asked.

“Why?” I asked, afraid she would do something funny.

“Please?” She pleaded.

“You have a phone, don’t you?” I asked.

“Why are you so stingy?” She pouted.

“I… Fine.” I handed her my phone.

She pressed around with it for a while before handing it back to me.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Nothing.” She smiled.

Her smile told me that ‘nothing’ was in fact ‘something’.

“YOU!!!!” I almost exploded when I found my phone records cleared again and her contact information deleted.

She laughed, as thou very proud of it.

“Why!?” I frowned, feeling slightly angry.

“Why not?” She asked.

“Is it so difficult to just let me have a way to contact you!?” I asked.

“When there weren’t phones, people had a way to contact each other too.” She said.

I did not say anything, I did not even look at her.

“If it is important to you, then next time, guard it with your life.” She said.

I looked up at her to find her smiling at me.

“Go home safely. Text me when you’re back.” She slapped my arm lightly.

“HOW AM I GOING TO TEXT YOU WHEN I DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER!?” I yelled.

“Opps~” She stuck out her tongue.

“Bye~” She giggled as she headed into the lift.

I could not even be angry with her. What is wrong with me?

***
I did not go home immediately. I went back to the rubbish chute. Thankfully, it was not cleared yet. Although I had to rummage through the extra piles of rubbish that was piled up here during the span of time I walked her home, it was not that difficult to find the canvas since it was pretty huge.

“Sometimes, some things are too precious to be let go.” I said, dusting the invisible dust off the canvas.

After that, I headed towards the restaurant.

“May I get you a table, Sir?” The restaurant owner greeted politely.

“A table might not be enough to slap sense into you. I think I need all the tables you have.” I said.

“Huh?” He looked at me.

“Remember me?” I asked.

He frowned slightly.

“What do you want?” He asked.

I turned the canvas over, letting him have a look at his ‘masterpiece’.

“You did this, didn’t you?” I said.

“So?” He said.

I had a strong urge to kick his fat face.

“So, you better watch out.” I said.

“Threatening me?” He asked.

“Maybe.” I smiled.

“What are you going to do?” He asked.

“It’s not going to be fun anymore if I told you, right?” I smiled.

He narrowed his eyes at me. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and yanked me close to him.

“Don’t you dare do anything weird.” He hissed.

“Then don’t you dare hurt her again.” I said dangerously.

“I did not hurt her.” He pushed me away.

“Destroying something she loves so much is as good as destroying her, idiot!” I was losing patience.

“It’s just a stupid painting.” He commented dumbly.

“Gosh, why do people like you exist?” I asked no one in particular.

“What are you implying!?” He yelled.

“It’s just a stupid eatery after all, right?” I smiled.

He stared at me blankly.

“You don’t call something stupid or pointless just because you don’t know how to appreciate it, for saying such things would just imply how stupid you are and how pointless you are to the world. You don’t go around insulting something you don’t understand or bullying someone who does not fit into your definition. You’re not everything, you’re not the world, in fact, you’re nothing. So, who are you to criticize? Honestly speaking, the fact you’re still breathing is a miracle already. You’re just a waste of space.” I said.

“How dare you!!” His face turned red.

“How dare you!” I glared at him.

“One more time,” I poked his chest, knowing that such a gesture would anger him, obviously.

“One more time you get on my nerves, I’ll make sure you wish you were never born.” I said.

I walked off, leaving him in a state of shock.

I was so angry my hands were shaking. I do not quite understand why I was reacting like that, but the sight of her crying just pained me, and the fact he was the cause of it, I just wanted to kill him.

It was almost 4AM when I got back to the dorm.

“Where did you go? To the club?” G.O asked, walking out from the toilet.

“No.” I said.

“What’s that?” He asked, pointing to the canvas.

“Art.” I said.

“Huh? How come I don’t understand it?” He said, looking closely at it.

“Is this piece called something like… I don’t know. Vomit, or something?” He asked.

“Tsk! Move away!” I pushed him as I headed back to the room.

“Are you going to put that in the room!? It’s so huge! How are we going to walk?” He protested.

“If there’s a will, there’s a way.” I said.

“Don’t use idioms on me, damn it.” He said.

I put the canvas against the wall, facing my bed.

“It looks pretty creepy, now that I’ve looked at it properly. Is it called ‘Murder’ or something? Like… You see, the bright colours at the side, the splash of red in the middle, and that long gash. It’s like.. a psychotic killer’s mind.” He said.

“How do you know so much about a psychotic killer’s mind?” I looked at him.

“I…” He looked shocked.

“Uh oh. Please don’t tell me you have a part time job.” I teased.

“WHAT!? NO! Yah!” He threw the pillow into my face.

“Go away. It’s hers, okay? She threw it away, I picked it up.” I said as I changed into sleeping clothes.

“Why are you picking up rubbish? Is that your part time job?” He asked, staring at the canvas.

“Actually, that’s my full time job.” I said.

“Eh?” He stared at me.

“Picking up the rubbish of my other four beloved members, isn’t that like my full time job?” I said.

“Are you implying that we’re a burden huh!?” He tackled me to the bed.

We had a little fight before we pulled apart.

“How was the meeting today?” He asked.

“Not bad.” I said, recalling the times we spent together.

“Tell me!” He said excitedly.

“Hahahahahahahahaha! No.” I said.

“YAH!! WHY!?” He frowned.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” I said, turning off the lights.

“Fine, fine. Whatever. I shall let you sink into your sweet memories tonight.” He said.

“Woah, thank you.” I laughed.

“You’re welcome. Good night.” He said.

“Night~” I bend over to smack his head.

“Tsk!” He threw something in my direction, but missed.

In no time, he was snoring, but I was still awake. Although the lights were turned off, I could still see the canvas. I stared at it, trying to picture what it may be before it was destroyed.

I almost drifted off into sleep when my phone vibrated. It was a text message.

‘Because you bought me waffles……….. Next time, you wouldn’t get back what you lost so easily~ XP I hope you got home safe ^^ Sleep well. Nighty.’

So much for ‘sleep well’. With such a message, I can forget about sleeping now. G.O’s loud snores seem to be mocking me. But it is fine, being kept awake because of this. 

***

Seungho: One more time you get on my nerves, I’ll make sure you wish you were never born.

When he saw the text message