Seungho’s POV

Six months

“You look happy.” Haneul said when I came to pick Minki up.

“Really?” I asked, smiling to myself.

“Yea. It’s a good thing thou.” She said.

“I guess.” I said.

“Where did you go, may I ask?” She said.

“Oh. I went bungee jumping.” I said.

“BUNGEE WHAT!?” She yelled.

“Relax! Bungee jumping. What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just… Well, then was it fun?” She asked.

“Extremely exciting! I think I’m going to make it a weekly thing.” I said.

“You’re not serious, are you?” She asked.

“Actually, I am.” I said.

“Erm… Then just… be careful.” She mumbled.

“Where’s Minki?” I asked.

“Somewhere behind.” She pointed.

I went over to where she pointed to find Jieun playing with Minki.

“Hoho ahjusshi!!” Jieun yelled and jumped into my embrace.

“Hello, princess.” I smiled.

“Are you bringing Minki back already?” She asked with a slight pout.

“You want to play with her a little longer?” I asked.

She nodded excitedly.

“Sure. Go have fun.” I said, smacking her bum lightly.

“MINKI YA!!!” She run to Minki, making my little girl giggle.

I stood at the corner, watching them play. How I wish it was me who would make her laugh. It has been six months, things have been changing, but Minki’s hostile attitude towards me remains.

“Why don’t you go over and join them?” Junhyung asked, appearing behind me out of a sudden.

“And spoil the fun for them? No, thanks.” I said.

“You’re Minki’s father. She’s not going to hate you forever. I mean, Jieun didn’t like me very much when we first met.” He said.

Jieun turned over at the call of her name.

“Hi~” Junhyung waved dumbly.

Jieun grinned and continued playing with Minki.

“It’s different, Junhyung ah~” I said, heading to the couch to sit down.

“I heard you tell Haneul you went bungee jumping.” He said.

“Yea. It’s so fun! Do you want to go?” I asked.

He shook his head and smiled awkwardly at me.

“Ouh. You’re missing out a lot then.” I said.

“I don’t mind missing out on life threatening stuff like this. Hyung, I know you’re stressed up and all, but there are other ways to distress, no? There’s no need to do such dangerous stuff.” He said.

“Aye~ How is it dangerous?” I said.

“Perhaps bungee jumping is safe enough, but how about speeding on the motorbike?” He said.

I looked at him, and then away.

“Silence means guilty.” He said.

“I’m not guilty. Yea, I speed. It clears my mind. I have not died yet, have I?” I said, with a little harshness in my voice.

“While you speed and do all sorts of dangerous stuff for your pleasure, just bear in mind that Minki has lost her mother already.” He said, getting up and walking off.

He was angry with me.

“Come on, Jieun. Let Minki go home.” Haneul said after awhile.

“But hur~~” Jieun pouted.

“Let them play.” I said.

“They’ll never stop.” Haneul whispered as she carried Minki to me.

Jieun was pouting excessively behind.

“I’ll bring her earlier tomorrow.” I said, coaxing her.

“Okay~” She said, but still looking upset.

“Minki, go to Daddy.” Haneul said, passing Minki to me.

Minki clutch onto Haneul’s shirt, unwilling to come into my arms.

I sighed and forced a smile.

“Minki, be a good girl, come on~” Haneul said.

She struggled and made noises.

“Why not you just put her in the car?” I said, heading out.

Haneul sighed and mumbled words to Minki that I could not hear. She secured Minki in the car seat before turning to me.

“Thanks.” I said.

“Things will get better. Perhaps try talking to her more, playing with her.” She said.

“Yea, alright.” I smiled as I head into the car.

“Let’s go home, sweetheart.” I said as I waved to Haneul before driving off.

“Sweetheart, you know, Daddy really love you. I know I tried to… tried to get Mummy to abort you but… at that point of time, I really didn’t have much options. I don’t blame you for hating me, really. But I just hope you do know that I love you and even thinking of that was painful for me.” I said, despite knowing she might not understand anything after all.

I turned to look at her. She was staring out of the window.

“Daddy loves you.” I said, patting her head lightly.

Nine months

I lost count of the amount of times I woke up to vomit. I had no idea if it was food poisoning or stomach flu, but I really could not be bothered. I was feeling weak all over to the point I had hardly any strength to walk to the toilet anymore.

After vomiting into the bin, I wiped my mouth and slumped back into bed. My stomach churned, making me feel so uncomfortable I could hardly sleep. I looked at the time; it was close to 3AM. Usually around this time Minki would be crying her lungs out for milk. Did I not hear her cries, or did she not wake up?

I forced myself up, using the wall as support, I made my way to her room. She was still asleep, but did not seem to be sleeping peacefully.

“Sweetheart?” I called out, turning her to face upwards.

Her body was hot to touch and her cheeks were flushed. I shook her a little, hoping to wake her up, but she did not. I started to panic. She has never fall sick before. I had no idea what to do. I searched for the thermometer and took her temperature. I freaked out at the digit flashing in my face; 39.8. It is considered high fever for adults, then what about babies?

I wrapped her in her blanket tightly, grabbed all the necessary documents and rushed out of the house. I could feel her trembling in my arms. I stared at the elevator. For some odd reason, it stopped at my level. I should get on the lift, but my feet seemed glued to the ground. I still could not take the lift alone. I needed Minji with me.

Just as I was about to turn to the stairwells, Minki made a whimpering sound, as thou trying to tell me she is in pain.

“Alright, sweetheart. Alright.” I mumbled.

I stepped into the lift, slammed the button to the ground floor before leaning back against the wall. I squeezed my eyes shut when I heard the doors close. As the lift started going down, I had no idea if it was me or Minki who was trembling.

I was starting to feel breathless and my stomach churned even more, but I held it in. I bit my lower lip so hard I could taste and feel blood.

‘You can do this, Seungho. You cannot let Minji down. You cannot let Minki down. If you can bungee jump, this is nothing.’ I psycho myself.

The moment the lift reached the ground level and the doors opened, I ran out. Not even wanting to think about it, I strapped Minki into the car seat and rushed her to the hospital.

“My girl is running a high fever! Help me, please!” I grabbed a nurse, startling her in the process.

“Seungho?” A voice from behind called out.

I turned to see Minji’s friend walking towards me. I have not seen him ever since that faithful day.

“Minki’s running a high fever! Can you help me!?” I hurried towards him.

He took a glance at Minki, and then gestured me to follow him.

“Put her down.” He said, pointing to the bed.

I stood beside her, watching him examine her.

“Her heartbeat is very weak. How long have she been burning up? Why didn’t you take her in earlier? Did you give her any medication?” He asked as he continued to do all sorts of things to Minki.

“I… I don’t know.” I muttered, looking worriedly at Minki.

“HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW!?” He yelled, looking angrily at me.

I looked at him, lost for words.

“You never seem to know anything, do you? When Minji’s sick, you never knew too. Now even Minki!” He pushed me aside.

I kept quiet and stared at my hands. Indeed, I never knew anything.

“Did you at least bring the necessary documents?” He asked.

I nodded, pulling out the whole stack of paper since I did not know what was needed.

“Go and register for her. Do you know how to do that?” He asked.

“I do, but.. why?” I asked.

“Why!? Because she’s burning up so badly we need to hospitalize her! She is only what? Nine months old? Do you know how dangerous a fever can be? Of course you don’t.” He scoffed.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“Would you at least put some effort into taking care of her? For Minji.” He said.

“I’m trying.” I said.

“Not hard enough then!” He said.

I was not in the mood to argue. I was only concerned about Minki now. I went out to register for her, and when I came back, I saw him holding onto a syringe.

“What are you doing!?” I stared at the needle.

“Do you think she’ll be well without medication?” He asked.

“But… but… She’s just a baby and… the needle is so thick. Is there no other way?” I asked, my heart aching just thinking about having the needle poke into Minki.

“What do you think?” He asked.

“You could have prevented this.” He said with a glare.

He is right. I could have prevented this. If I was more attentive. If I did not sleep all day.

I picked Minki up, holding her tightly in my arms as he injected into her. Her cries were like blades, stabbing me in my heart.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” I whispered to her.

“She needs to be hospitalize until she is well again. The nurse will bring you up. I’ll be there later.” He said.

I cradled Minki in my arms as I followed the nurse up. I put Minki onto the bed gently so as not to wake her. I watch in pain as the nurse hooked all sorts of machines onto her.

“Will all these cause pain?” I cannot help but ask.

She smiled and shook her head.

“Thanks.” I said.

“Do you need a bed?” She asked.

“Erm…” I mumbled.

“You aren’t staying?” She asked, looking a little amused.

“I am. Definitely.” I said.

“I’ll prepare a bed for you then.” She said.

I stood at the corner, watching Minki sleep and listening to the annoying beeping sound of the machines.

“Get well, sweetheart.” I said, not daring to near her since I was not well myself.

As thou I have been holding all the discomfort inside, the moment I knew she was going to be okay here, the churning in my stomach hit me again. I did not want to vomit in her room despite the bin being just beside me. I had no desire to spread any more bacteria to her.

I ran out of the room and vomited into the bin outside. I had nothing to vomit except stomach juice and water since I have eaten nothing.

“What’s wrong with you?” A voice asked.

I looked up to find Minji’s friend staring at me. Before I could answer him, I started vomiting again. He patted my back and handed me water to rinse my mouth after I was done.

“Are you sick?” He asked.

“It’s nothing.” I leaned against the wall, rubbing my stomach.

“The fact that you’re vomiting like that is not nothing.” He said.

“It’s just either stomach flu or food poisoning. I wouldn’t die from it.” I said tiredly.

“Sorry to burst your bubble but you will die from it if you don’t take care.” He said.

I rolled my eyes at him before going to sit down on the couch outside Minki’s room.

“Come, I’ll check on you.” He said.

“No need.” I said.

“Is this another suicide plan of yours?” He asked.

I glared at him.

“Just go away!” I kicked him.

“.” He muttered before going into Minki’s room.

I took out my phone and dialed Haneul’s number. I only dared to do it because I know she would still be awake.

“Seungho? Is something wrong?” She asked.

“Erm… Haneul ah~ Could you come to the hospital?” I asked.

“Hospital? Why?” She asked.

“Minki’s running a high fever. I rushed her here, and they needed to hospitalize her.” I said.

“WHAT!? WHICH HOSPITAL!?” She shouted.

“I’ll text you the address.” I said.

“Alright, I’m on my way. What do you need?” She asked.

“I just need you to stay with her.” I said.

“You’re leaving?” She asked.

“No. But I don’t feel too good myself. I don’t wish to be spread any more virus to her.” I said.

“Alright. I’m coming.” She said, ending the call.

I closed my eyes, but could not sleep. How could I sleep with Minki still running a high fever? I opened my eyes when I felt someone shook my arm.

“What?” I said in a frustrated voice when I saw Minji’s friend.

“Do you remember how many times have you vomited?” He asked.

“Tsk~ Leave me alone.” I turned my back to face him.

“You think I want to do this? I’m doing this for Minki’s sake. If not because you’re her only kin, I wouldn’t be bothered. Even if you don’t value your life, for goodness live for her.” He said.

“I lost count.” I mumbled.

“When did you start vomiting?” He asked.

“This morning.” I said.

“When was your last meal?” He asked.

“This morning.” I said.

“What did you eat?” He asked.

“Bread, but I vomited it out in five minutes.” I said.

“Then, you just kept vomiting? What did you eat last night?” He asked.

“Ramen.” I said.

He took my temperature and started scribbling stuff onto a piece of paper.

“I don’t think it’s food poisoning, perhaps stomach flu. But you’re having a slight fever. I’ll go get you your medication. Don’t fall asleep until I get back, okay?” He said.

I nodded.

I dozed off despite against my will. I felt so weak I was struggling to even open my eyes.

“Seungho!” Haneul called out.

“Hey~” I said, trying to sit up.

“Are you sick too?” She asked, helping me up.

“I’m okay.” I smiled.

“Your definition of being okay is really unique then.” She said.

I chuckled weakly.

“How’s Minki?” She asked.

“Asleep.” I said, pointing to the room.

“I think you need to be admitted too.” She said.

I laughed and shook my head.

“It’s just stomach flu. I wouldn’t die.” I said.

“You’re Minji’s friend, Haneul, right?” Minji’s doctor friend said as he headed over.

“Yes. Hi.” Haneul smiled.

“You’re here for Minki?” He asked as he sat down beside me.

“Is she okay?” She asked.

“Stable for now. Hopefully her fever subsides soon or else it might be dangerous.” He said.

Haneul nodded, looking at me.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“For what? It’s not your fault she fell sick.” Haneul said.

“What are you doing?” I asked when Minji’s friend lifted the sleeve of my shirt.

“What do you think?” He said, jabbing the needle into my arm without warning.

I winced in pain while Haneul covered her face. She hated things like this.

“You could have said something!” I hissed.

“You could have said something too.” He said.

“What?” I asked.

“When I scolded you just now, why didn’t you tell me that you were sick?” He asked.

“How does that matter?” I asked.

“I see. You do enjoy being scolded by me.” He said.

“What are you doing again?” I asked, staring at him hold another needle.

“IV drip. You vomited to the point there’s nothing left. You can’t even sit up now.” He said, jabbing the needle into my arm again without warning.

“Ouch!!” I yelled.

“I know you’ll refuse if I want to admit you, so just rest here. I’ll come check on you as and when. Erm, Haneul, can you come out occasionally to make him drink these? He needs to keep his body hydrated. It doesn’t matter even if he vomits it out. Just make sure he drinks.” He said.

“Alright.” Haneul said.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled.

“Whatever. I’ll be back.” He said.

“Why not I get the boys to send you back?” She asked.

“I want to be with her. Even if I’m outside. I want to at least be here.” I said.

“But you…” She frowned.

“I’m okay. Don’t worry. The nurse prepared a bed inside, so you get some sleep too, okay?” I said.

“Why not you sleep inside?” She asked.

“I don’t want to be vomiting in her room. I’m good outside. I can see her from the glass too.” I said.

“Shout for me if you don’t feel good.” She said.

I looked at Minki from the outside, wishing very much that I was the one inside with her. My body gave in to the tiredness and I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, I saw Cheondong staring at me. I was lying on his lap, but when on earth did that happen?

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I… I’m okay.” I said, struggling to sit up.

The IV drip was off me and my stomach felt much better.

“Why didn’t you tell us that you were sick? We would have taken care of Minki for you so you could rest.” He said.

“I’m not that sick.” I said, looking through the glass to see Minki.

“She’s up and playing with the others.” Cheondong said.

“Really? That’s good to hear.” I smiled.

I stood up, a wave of dizziness hit me.

“You alright?” Cheondong asked, stabling me.

“Yea. I’m good.” I smiled as I walked towards Minki’s room.

I watch her from outside, smiling at her every movement. My active baby girl is back.

“Why don’t you go in?” He asked.

“No. It’s fine.” I said.

“She’s your daughter, hyung.” He said.

Minki’s eyes and mine met. I smiled and waved at her. She stared at me for a brief second, and then she smiled back. It did not last long, but it was enough to make my heart flutter. I had no idea if she was genuinely smiling at me or was it because her uncles were tickling her, but whatever it is, it is the first time in nine months she gave me a respond. I felt as thou I was in love all over again.