[Daesung’s POV]

“Oh come on Seungri… Let me in… Please… I have candy?” Jiyong pleaded with Seungri to let him into his room.

“I said… Go away… YOU ING CANNIBAL!” Seungri yelled. “I wish to keep my skin… thank you.”

“Seungri… I just said it was a April Fool’s joke…” Jiyong banged his head on Seungri’s door.

“GO AWAY” Seungri yelled.

Youngbae walked out of his room. “What the hell is going on?” He asked as he looked at Jiyong.

“He thinks I’m a cannibal again.” Jiyong looked over.

“NOT THINK…. I KNOW” Seungri yelled.

“What…Why?” Youngbae asked.

“I played a April Fool’s joke on him.” Jiyong went back to knocking on the door.

“Dammit… Jiyong… Why did you have to bring that back up… It was a relief years ago when he finally stopped calling you that.” Youngbae rubbed his forehead.

Jiyong just shrugged. “Look I wanted to play a prank… So I did.”

Youngbae just closed his door. Seunghyun walked out from our bedroom and I followed him. We ignored the Cannibal scene next to us and went into the living room. We grabbed out jackets from the couch and left the dorm.

“So where are we going?” I asked him as we walked down to the car.

“To get lunch?” He suggested.

“But we have food in the dorm.” I replied opening the door and getting in.

“Yeah but I want someone else to cook for us.” He got into the car and started to drive off. I looked at him and then leaned my head against the window.

“Hyung?” I said softly.

“Neh?” He kept his eyes on the road.

“If… If things were different… back then… Do you think we would be as strong as we are now?” I asked him softly.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked pulling at a stop light. He still kept his eyes on the road.

“I mean… When you… Well when I tried jumping off the bridge. What if you guys had just accepted me right then before I left? What about when I found you with that girl and I tried killing myself… What if we never went to the movie theater that night… Introducing Woobin to Park… Being stalked and having nightmares. Almost losing you…” I said softly. Seunghyun slowly turned his head to look at me. “What if… None of that ever happened… Would… I… we be as strong as we are now?” I looked at him. Seunghyun caught eyes with me and then looked back at the road. He noticed it turned green and started driving.

“Daesung… I…” He his lips and continued to think. “I… honestly don’t know…” He sighed. I looked at him and then out the window again. “Why can’t you just forget about all that negative stuff and focus on what is in front of you? You have me and that’s all you’ll ever need.”

“Because… remembering the past is important. The past and what happens back then is what makes a person who they are today. I honestly think I wouldn’t be as strong as I am. If we never got together… I probably wouldn’t feel as confident as I do today.” I explained to him. Not focusing my eyes on him, but the road.

I could hear Seunghyun sigh. He breathed in deep and held it there for a few seconds before letting it out. “Daesung… The past is also what hurts you… If you remember every single thing that haunted you then… you will never move on.”

“But I have moved on hyung… You just don’t see it.” I looked at him.

“I do see it Daesung… I can see that you are trying your hardest to move on… but honestly I feel like you haven’t all the way.” He muttered.

“Are you cheating on me?” I asked under my breath.

“What was that?” He asked as he pulled into a parking spot for the park.

“I asked if… you were cheating on me…” I repeated. He sat in his seat, not answering me. I looked at him after a few seconds too long have passed. “So you are?”

“Daesung I am not cheating on you… I promise.” He looked at me.

“Then why did It take you so long to answer me!” I yelled.

“I was trying to figure out how to tell you I wasn’t.” He yelled back.

“All you had to do was say ‘No Daesung I am not…’ Is that so hard to say!” I opened the car door and got out. Seunghyun got out also.

“What is wrong with you today!” Seunghyun walked over to me. I slammed the car door shut and walked off. “Daesung! Answer me!” He yelled.

“Just leave me along Hyung…” I muttered and continued my walk into the park. He watched me for a few seconds before following me.

“Daesung… Get back here. We’re going home.” He followed.

“I’m not going anywhere with you right now… Just give me some space please.” I muttered and continued to walk away from him.

He caught up to me and grabbed my wrist. He made me stop walking and turn to look at him. “Get back in the car… now.” He muttered.

I pulled my wrist from him. “You can’t control me.” I muttered back.

“Daesung…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath again. Once he let it out, he opened his eyes back up. “Daesung… please. Just get in the car. What do I need to do?” He asked in a soft voice.

“Tell me the truth” I whispered looking at him.

“About what… There is nothing to tell the truth about” He said in a soft tone.

“Do you wish we never got together?” I asked him.

“Daesung don’t ask me that… Of course I don’t think that… I am glad we got together.” He held my hand.

I looked at him his hand holding mine and then I looked up at him.

“Honestly… I don’t believe you.” I slowly pulled my hand from his.

Seunghyun sighed. “Dae… I am telling you the truth… Why don’t you believe me?” He asked.

“I know when you lie to me Seunghyun. I can see it in your eyes. Your pupils get smaller. When you generally loved me… your pupils got bigger.” I explained to him.

Seunghyun shook his head. “Daesung... Please believe me when I say this… I do love you… I really do. I’m not lying about that.”

“Of course you’re not… Your pupils got bigger.” I muttered.

“But… I sometimes I do wish we never got together… to spare you from being hurt all those times.” He said softly.

I looked at him for a second before pushing past him to get back to the car. “Take me home.” I muttered. “I want to leave.”

Seunghyun stood there for a moment before walking back to the car. Once we both got in I was silent for the whole ride. Seunghyun on the otherhand….

“Daesung… I am glad we are together now though… Do you believe me on that?” He asked me. I just ignored him. “Why are you ignoring me! You got your damn answer!” He got mad.

I kept ignoring him and looking out the window. When we got back to the dorm. I got out and quickly went into the dorm and over to the bathroom. Seunghyun followed me into the dorm a few minutes later.

This caused Jiyong to stop bothering Seungri about the Cannibal thing. Seungri came out of the room. Youngbae opened his bedroom door and looked out with Monica in the background. “What’s going on?” She asked.

“Daesung come here” Seunghyun called out. I slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it. I the water for the bath tub and reached behind the toilet and pulled out a small knife. Seunghyun walked over and knocked on the bathroom door. “Daesung open the door. Please.” He said softly.

“What’s going on?” Seungri asked Seunghyun. Seunghyun ignored Seungri and kept knocking on the bathroom door.

Jiyong took Seungri’s arm and bit it. Seungri looked at Jiyong and pulled his arm away from him. “You cannibal…” He muttered.

“Daesung please… Open the door. Don’t do anything stupid.” He pleaded.

I continued to ignore him. I slowly got into the tub with my clothes on and sat down in the water. I held up my wrist and held the knife in my other hand.

“Daesung… If it makes you feel any better… I do wish we never got together then… I already told you this because I didn’t want you to be harmed the way you were back then. I’m telling the truth when I say that… I never cheated on you since that one time you found me with that girl. I admire you for your courage and faith Daesung. I admire you for your strength that you had when having those nightmares and facing Michael and then Park. I admire you because I wish that one day I can be as strong as you are. To answer your question from earlier… Daesung… Yes… I do believe that even if those things never happened… you will still be as strong as you are today. You never give up even when things got heated and tough. I admire you for that Daesung. So do the guys. Please believe me when I say this… I love you… I love you always and I will continue to do so… even after I die… Daesung… please don’t do what you are thinking about doing in there. I beg of you.” Seunghyun rested his head on the bathroom door and let the tears fall down his cheeks.

I sat in the tub. Thinking about everything that he was saying. I held the knife tight and looked at my wrist. I closed my eyes.

“I love you Daesung…”