"What the dude?!" She said when her friend punched her square in the face. Blood was dripping from her lip.

"Tell me! Until when will you be like that?!" Her friend who was furious knowing that every night her friend changed a lot. The partying the drinking, girls every single night. Sure she was hurt but should she destroy herself in the process of moving on?

"You dont care. I can do what I want..." She shrugged it off as if it was a normal thing to turn your back on your friends.

"You know what... I finally get it why did she left you...you're not worth it." That made her look at him. Anger is evident in her face and she wanted to punch the guy but she knew better. She knew better because it's the truth.

Flashback

"What do you think? Like having someone who is older than you. I mean 5 years older?" The girl asked the tomboy as they were having their lunch date.

"Hmm I don't know..." The tomboy shrugged because truth to be told she doesn't know how to answer that.

"It's nice to have kids and be parents." The girl said happily as their conversation went on and on. Not even minding that her girlfriend was secretly hurting.

End of flashback

"She was so happy...so happy that she forgot about me." The handsome girl chuckled bitterly as she took a sip from her glass. This...alcohol makes her feel better.

"It's my fault though...being not what she wants. Guess I was really an experiment. Was I really?" She chose to close the doors. Shut more people in her life. Be sad and cry every second of her day and end up either drunk or tears dried up on her face.

Flashback

"You like someone else now don't you?" She said as she smiled at the other girl. her hair lovingly like she always do.

"I-I'm sorry Am... I-" 

"It's okay. I understand. I wasn't enough. I'm not a man that can satisfy whatever you want. Have a family and be introduced to your parents." She put her smile as if everything is fine.

"I was just finding the right timing to tell you... I..."

"Soojung-ah. I told you it's okay. I'm happy for you. I guess  you don't need me now. So goodbye then..." And I hope I won't see you again. She wants to add that but she decided not to. She wanted for her to feel happy despite of what she is feeling right now. She always put her first up to the last time because that's what she promised her.

"I'm gonna put you first if ever you will love me even just a little. That's how thankful I am for having you in my life." Her words back when she confessed her love. Back then when she still believed that everything is possible.

"You okay bro?" Her friend asked her. They were not used to this side of her. She was usually playful not this sad. So broken that it's such a pity to see her this way.

"Of course I am. Why are you asking?" She said faking a smile.

"Am-"

"Min... I'm okay having fun here in LA. You should visit some time." She said changing the topic.

"Llama you know that we're-" She knew what she will say next so she just said.

"Min sorry but I have to go I really need go somewhere. Bye love you." She ended the video call and closed her laptop. Who is she kidding? She doesn't even has somewhere to go. Another club? Bar? Find girls and get wasted? She shook her head that was her daily routine for months now and she still got no idea when to stop. She stumble to her old phone. The last message she sent her.

To: Princess ❤️

Please take time to read this. For you this will just be an long letter saying ty things. But for me it isn't like that. First I waited. I waited and waited for you to come around. For us to be okay. For everything to be alright. But you see I think I just waited in vain cause that was nearly impossible to happen. I love you but you dont love me. I'm good with it now. Since last October while fixing my papers and fixing myself in the process too. So stupid of me for not telling you right away but I really don't have the plan to tell it to you anyways. I tried fixing us, myself, but I guess too broken things won't be fix easily. I knew every single thing that's why I came up with the solution of leaving. I was just testing the waters at first but I know there is no way I can make you love me back. Crazy as it may seems but I love you, so much that I put you first and even forget everything behind. I tried not to show anything when you cheated but I can't help it. Do you know how much I am dying? I'm dying inside and I don't know how to make it every single day that comes. I want to give up and just lost it. I told myself that I'm unimportant so I guess leaving this world won't be a pain in the . I tried realizing my worth but I can't seemed to find it. I'm happy for you. Having what you want, having someone to like. Do you know that I less worry about you now? You really grew up to a wonderful person. Too wonderful that you realized I am not what you want. It's okay. I'm okay. When you get the chance to read this, I might not be around hogging, asking for you to take me back. I won't do that anymore. I'm tired. So tired of being a pathetic fool asking for your love and attention. I'm sorry for wasting your precious time. I knew you won't stop liking someone. Especially if it's just for me. Go love anyone you like. I hope you won't get hurt and you'll be loved. I always hope for you the best. The best of the best actually. I guess meeting me was a mistake for you but meeting you was the most beautiful thing happened to me. I love you like how the sun rises from the east and sets in. The most certain thing I know is I love you with nothing in return. Why? There is a gazillion reasons to love you. I won't try to unlove you cause that's impossible. Maybe I will just bury this feelings I have for you 6 feet under the ground. I already told my family about our breakup. The reason why and everything about it. Don't worry about your image. We won't meet in the future anyways besides I explained that it was all my fault. I didn't love you enough. I'll stop loving huh? I don't know what to give to my next one cause I already emptied it up to you. I'm afraid too. So afraid to get hurt. One of the reasons why I also want to work far away. You're right. You are one of the reasons. I love you and I want to move on. I want to make my great escape. By leaving somehow it'll lessen the pain. Every training and physical exhaustion I feel, makes me want to breakdown. But I thought that the pain you gave me was even more than that. I suddenly felt the lost of appetite in living and being great. I was so down and I don't know how to get up. Sorry but that's just how I feel like when you said you don't love me anymore. I'm glad that I never once cheated on you. It's not a choice for me cause that didn't really came into my mind. You deserve more than everything I have. Now I know why everyone seems to be leaving me. Why I'm always left out? Cause obviously no one can love me back. A freak like me. A creep and a weirdo. Hehe. You deserve the best. I love you. I'll miss you. So much. 

P.S don't worry about me running and begging. I wont. Never. I'll never be the sore loser that will beg you to love me back. You can be happy now. Goodluck. 

Everything is over now but is it for her really? Is it better this way when she's happy while she is still here broken and don't know where to start?