I just remembered waking up with someone I dont even recognize. She said she's my wife but why I cant feel it. The way she touches me. I cant even mutter I love you to her. Why does it feels so wrong being with her?

"Yiyun-ah!!!" I heard her call me first thing in the morning. This girl is no joke. I mean judging from her house. The interior and everything inside and out of it. She got bodyguards and been out all day. Coming home at 6 pm to have dinner with me. She really loves me I can feel it but I am just not sure if I feel the same.

"Hmm?" I asked while combing my hair. It is a lot messier having long hair. She said she still find me beautiful despite of my long hair. The weird thing is I didnt see any picture of us together except for the graduation picture hanging in our room. 

"You want to go out?" She asked me and I was surprised. For the last 2 months of my recovery from coma. Well she didnt allow me to go out. She said for safety measures so i didnt disagree. Oh yes. I was in coma for the last 2 years according to her. I asked her if I got a family who'll be worried but she said I am an orphan. She's the only person I got. 

"Jinjja? Thank you Soo-" she cut me by kissing my lips torridly. Her hands are all over me while I dont know how should I react. Damn. I just hope we wont do anything early this morning. It just dont feel right. I know I should trust her but when it comes to being intimate my body doesnt want to.

"I love you Yiyun." She said when she broke the kiss. I felt relieve. 

"So what are we gonna do today? I asked and breaking off the awkward atmosphere after the kiss.

"Lets go shopping and we'll do what you want to do." She said with a smile. I can really feel the love. Her eyes say it all. I just dont know why it isnt the same way when it comes to me.

"Can we visit my friends?" I felt that the temperature dropped low. Suddenly her cheerful aura was gone. Did I just upset her? Whats with this woman? One second happy the next she is scary. I can always see it when I asked her about my past or whatever about me.

"Am I not enough for you Yiyun ah?" She said and the sadness is evident in her eyes. 

"No. Of course. Its just I miss them and they might help me regain my memories back." I said with a smile trying to loosen up the tension.

"They are gone." She just said with a flat tone.

"Gone?" I asked confusedly. What does she means by gone? I began to worry. Are my friends already dead?

"Ohh. Dont worry babe. I mean gone. They are all gone. They decided to stay abroad so its impossible to see them now." She said with a smile. I felt relieved. I thought

---

We hang out in the mall. While she is fitting the clothes she bought. I went to the restroom. Damn. I cant hold it anymore. I need to pee.

After I ran my way to her when I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Oh. Sorry miss I am in a hurry. Are you okay?" I asked her and offered my hand. The moment our hands touched I felt a sudden jolt of electricity. Woah. That was new. My body sensed a familiarity. Do I know this woman?

"Amber?" She said with widen eyes. Amber? Who's Amber? She is now touching my face. I dont have the strength to stop her. Her touches were so familiar that I cant have enough.

"Ugh. Miss sorry but my name is Yiyun not Amber. You might mistaken me from someone you know" I said but she shook her head. I can see the happiness in her eyes. The longing and there is also pain.

"Yiyun-ah! There you are. Where have you been?" I heard Sooyeon voice calling me. I turned my head to see her. She is indeed worried. I was about to look at the woman I bumped into but she is already gone. The only thing left was a handkerchief. I guess it belongs to her.

JSJ that was the initials in the handkerchief. I was still in a daze until we went home. The familiarity is too much. Just too much that I need to see her. I want to see her. Why I can feel this heart beating so fast just by simple touches of her when I dont even feel it with my so called wife.

Who are you? Why do I feel this way? Do I know you? Will i see you again? 

JSJ

i hope I will see you again. Cause you left my heart longing for your touches.

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