This will be the last day I'll be with her. I'm here just waiting for her to arrive. Useless isnt it? But I am making the most out of it, if she wont come I'll let it be. Maybe she doesnt want to see me. Yeah sure she cares but never she'll be sensitive about how I feel. 

Why did it come to this? I dont know too. We were happy back then but I guess we grew up and fell apart. I dont blame her though but I miss those days when we are loving each other passionately like fools. I wasnt thinking well. Anything is fine as long as she is happy. I dont care how much it will it hurt. I just want her to be the happiest girl alive.

I asked her some favors but I guess she forgot all of those. I dont mind. I just want to see her just this last time. I am here. Remembering all those happy memories with her. I think its enough for me to last long. Clinging on those things as if my life depends on it.

She is a wonderful girl when I met her. We shared things. Our thoughts, feelings and almost everything personal but I guess its not okay if life will be happy always. Sometimes we need to struggle. I chose to let her be happy. I am strong. Definitely stronger than her. I can move on with my life while she already did that. I am glad. 

All I wish is to hold her just this last time. Hold her like it will be the end of the world. Besides nothing last forever. We break and we heal. We became stronger, wiser because of the decisions we made in our life. We hurt but we learn.

She's right at some point. We wont last long even if we continue to be together. Well, we wont if one will let go and give up. It hurts now but I think this will be the only way.

---

She came. I hugged her. Letting my emotions to surface. I wont cry but I am very sure I'll be lonely. She was a bit startled but I didnt stop hugging her tight. Cause this might be the last time I'll be holding her. One thing I learned is that it doesnt matter if you know or not that it will happen. It will still hurt you if you dont want that thing to happen. 

"Am, you okay?" She asked me and I just shook my head vigorously. I smiled. I give the last smile I can mustered despite of the pain of being away from her. All my questions got answers. I was just too coward to accept it. Maybe. Just maybe pretending I dont know will lessen the pain.

"I love you Soojung-ahhhh~~" I said while hugging her tightly. I really love you Soojung. Too bad that you dont feel the same way as I did. I know now. Dont worry. You care but its not like I feel about you.

"I lo..." I kissed you to stop you from lying. I know you dont. I already know. 

"Im tired." I said and you looked at me. 

"Waeyo? You dont even do a thing lazy ." You chuckled and slap my chest playfully. I'm tired of being in so much pain Soojung. Thats what I want to say but I didnt. I dont want to burden you anymore with my feelings. 

"Hehe you know being lazy is tiring. I love you, princess. Please always remember that. You are the most wonderful woman I met in my life. No matter how much time passes by. You will be the only girl that I want in my life." I said lovingly but hanging my head low. Love isnt easy. That I know now. We swallow more bitter than sweet in our life. 

"You know you are weird today." You looked at me and seemed to be thinking what it might be the weird thing about me. 

"When am I not?" I laugh and hover on top you. I kissed you like it will be the last thing on earth that will keep me living. Im sorry princess but I have to go.

"Yah! Stop kissing *kiss* me." You said as you tried to avoid my kisses. 

"Wae? You dont want my kiss anymore? Aw. Too bad I'll be giving you a lot now." I said as I continued kissing you.

"Yah! Amber stop. Dont you want to eat something?" You said as you got up. I just shrugged and you walk towards the kitchen. Leaving me all alone.

Here we are. Here I am being crazy about you. Not caring about anything as long as it makes you happy. You wont know. You wont feel it. You wont even notice that me, the most unimportant thing of your life will be gone for good forever.

Gongju-nim Mianhe. I know its for the best. I want to be the happiest. From now no more promises. No anything from me cause today I know you'll be fine and better off without me.