Are you going to blame me if I became cold and distant? 

Are you going to blame if I suddenly felt unwanted?

Are you going to blame me if I showed up one day just to say goodbye? 

You cant but I know you will.

Its been so long. A very long time we spent together. Emotions we invested to build this kind of connection between us. You were everything I ever wanted. I always tell you that. But am I your everything too? Did you wished that you can be together be with me for a lifetime? I bet you dont. 

"Krys?"

"Dae?"

"Are you going to invest on something even you know you'll just have loses instead of gain?"

"No. Of course not. Investing is all about your profit."

"I thought so too."

"Why'd you ask?"

"Uhh n-nothing. I just thought of that. You know. You are planning to buy some shares right?"

"Yeahh. I want to take risk. Besides buy low sell high. Many prices went down."

"For this quarter?" I said and you looked at me surprise.

"Woah."

"Wae?"

"Nothing. You seemed to know a lot about business. What happen to Engineer Liu?"

"Still the same Engineer Liu. The same handsome Liu." I tried to lighten the mood a bit. Trying to hide the sadness I felt. Have you ever had the idea of what Im feeling?

"Cocky as ever Engineer. So whats up with your projects?"

"Still the same. We are on schedule and I hope there'll be no problem in the future."

Am I supposed to be happy? Yeah. We are both successful in our chosen careers but why I still felt empty inside. Why is that Krys? Is just me or is it the reality? Is this how our story goes?

"Babe?" You asked and worry is evident in your eyes. Sometimes its like this. I really felt you care about me but most of the time you just know but you never done anything to ease my pain. A little assurance wont hurt right? 

"What?"

"You spaced out. Is something wrong? You know we can just go home. I know you are tired."

"No its fine. Besides you want to watch the movie right?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Come on. The movie will start now."

I dragged you inside the movie house. It doesnt take long for the movie to start. I cant understand whats the movie is all about but when I looked at you and you seemed to be focused on it. My mind is definitely somewhere. I heard you sobbed and gave you my handkerchief. You lean on my shoulder. For anyone who will see I know they'll think we are a sweet couple but for me its just a chance given to me to be happy in a limited time.

The movie ended and I drove you home.

"Goodnight Krys." I said to you

"Goodnight Am. So when will I see you again?"

"I-I dont know."

"Are you sure you ok?"

"Yeah. Why wouldnt I be?"

"Right. I'll go inside now. Drive safely. I love you." You were about to enter when I spoke

"Uhh Soojung"

"Wae?"

"I think I might take back my investments now."

"Huh?"

"Just to avoid further losses. Good bye Krys." I entered my car before you reply. I know its not nice to leave you hanging. To just go without clearing things out but I should love myself too. Think of myself first. Its selfish but am I just going to settle with something that I havent had permanently in the first place. 

I love you so much that it will break me when one day you'll show up and tell me you dont want us anymore. I am not being smart. I am just protecting myself for the unbearable losses I might encounter if I stay.