She's staring at the window. As if waiting for someone who will text her, call her. Say I love you to her but who isnt she fooling. There is none who will.

It is the same time in the year when they fell in love. That was in the past now. She is the one who decided to broke it off. Seeing how painful it for her but she chose to free her. This isnt the same thing they had before.

She got her own life. She isnt the same girl she went after for. The one who knew her better than anyone. The one who she turns to when everything was hard. She felt so miserable. Without her. She's probably busy now. Meeting new people or better with someone new. 

Flashback

"Soojung-ah!!!! I love you to the moon and back!!!" She shouted as they went to a hill to unwind after series of exam.

"Yah! Amber! Quit shouting." Though she is shy. She knows she is blushing from the cheesiness of her girlfriend.

"Know what princess, you are the most beautiful girl I ever met." Amber said sincerely. Her eyes are sparkling. No doubt she is crazy for the girl in front of her.

"I felt not wearing make up when I am with you. I dont think I am beautiful." Amber knows Krystal's insecurities thats why as long as she can she'll do everything to ease them. To assure her that she is indeed the most beautiful thing happened to her.

"But you are beautiful. Without make up on. I prefer you bare face. It just that your natural look. Even having a messed up hair, you still look perfect. How is that even possible?" Amber asked quite curious.

"Stupid you just love me so much thats why you are saying that."

"Nahh. I dont think so. You are beautiful Krys. You are not almost perfect because you are already perfect." Amber smiled dorkily at her. Without any response, Soojung closed the gap between them giving Amber a sweet kiss.

End of flashback

"You are crazy you know that?" Peniel approach Amber who is down to her nth bottle. He knows how much his friend is suffering. Krystal is indeed a vital part of Amber. Its like her vitamin. Energy drink. Sleep. Or whatever that will give her energy. 

"When am I not?" Amber gave a weak smile. She wonders why she is grieving when she is the one who decided to leave. Sure that they arent the same. She is not blind who will be selfish to keep her. She is curious of her love's whereabouts and her heart wont change. She really loves the girl a lot. More than herself actually. The girl who she always put first before anyone. 

"Am, you are nearly 21. Its been months. Do you want to know something about her?" Peniel asked because despite of them breaking up. Soojung is not that hard to track. They both belong in the same circle of friends. Amber decided to isolate herself. Be alone and bear with alone. They wont understand.

"I just dont know why Peniel. We were so happy. Just why?" She kept on asking. She thinks she doesnt know the answer but the truth is she just cant accept the fact that the girl who knew her just grew up to be a woman. She chose to live her life without her. Yes she did took her back but it hurts Amber more knowing that the girl she used to protect doesnt need her anymore. In any aspect. The girl who used to be crazy about her. Maybe they were too young back then. Full of colors everywhere. There is nothing that can stop them. Everything is nice. Everything is perfect but its all in the past now.

"Am... Stop. You need to move on. Just accept it. You two grew apart. That's life. You cant be happy all the time. You cant have everything you want." Amber just broke down to tears. Again. After so many months. She keeps on hurting but she cant do anything about it.

"How? How to stop myself from loving her? If she already took a place in my heart? When she is always here." She said pointing in her heart. She lost her. The girl who was a cry baby back then. Was now a grown up woman who can stand on her own. Her friend cant do anything but to accompany his friend. Grieve with her. Hoping that there will be the time that she'll be back to her usual self.

It is so fast. She loves her. She always will. She just hope she is fine though it hurts. Hurts so much.