Normal POV

         The news of Dara’s backing out of Cold Heart caused quite a stir among fans and netizens. And once again, several speculations have surfaced and got strengthen, making her trend on search engines for both positive and negative causes.

           “So is Dara unnie and Donghae oppa really dating or is it just a media play?”

          “Dara and Jaejoong is the real deal, the dating rumors with Donghae oppa are just cover up so people will get distracted from her getting the female role for Cold Heart”

          “Did she back out because Donghae oppa might be uncomfortable or is it because it was too real with Jaejoong? I heard there’s a lot of kissing scenes…”

          “Eh~ I don’t know~ Whoever she’s dating, I don’t care”

          “She needs to straighten it out though, I don’t want feeling confused. Donghae or Jaejoong, just pick one!”

          “I worry if Dara is the reason why Donghae oppa isn’t inside though?”

          “Oh I hope not or else I would really dislike her…”

          Fangirls have gathered in a hallway by the Sukira window, waiting for the show to go on-air. Super Junior is scheduled for Sukira radio today, and unlike their usual guestings – which would only take 2nd half of the show– today they’ll sit in for the entire hour. And like what the fans said, all members are inside except for Donghae.

         “Where’s Hae?” Leeteuk asked, but only got shoulders shuddering in response.

         “I think he went with manager hyung to buy snacks” one replied, all unaware of what’s going on.

         “Excuse me, maam. You can’t go in there!” A disturbance was suddenly heard from outside the door, and it sounded like the guards are stopping someone from barging in. “That’s only for radio guests!”

         “I need to talk to someone” a girl’s voice answered and the door swings open. All heads turned as they saw the petite girl standing in the doorway, panting heavily as she struggles on catching her breath. Her eyes are red and swollen.

         They swiftly rose from their seats in worry, gathering around her. “Dara noona, what happened?! Are you alright? Is there something wrong?”

         “W-where’s Hae?... I…I need to talk to him” she says rubbing her hands on her eyes as she sweeps away the tears to clear her sight. “Please…”

         “He’s out with hyung for a short while. He’ll be back soon. You better sit down first while you wait” Heechul says, patting her head.

         “No! I need to see him now” Dara cries, slapping his hand away.

         The guys exchanged glances, asking each other to go and get Donghae quick. Siwon was the one who volunteered to run downstairs to do the searching, but when he was about to open the door, manager hyung arrives in time. “Where are you going?” He asks.

         “Hyung, where’s fishy?” they asked him right away.

         The relaxed hyung just raises his shoulders. “I don’t know… We weren’t together. He says he’ll just get some fresh air” he says innocently with a bag of snacks in his hands. “Why?”

         Fresh air…

         Fresh air…

         Everyone turned silent thinking of Donghae’s whereabouts, but Dara seems to have known of the possible place he can be and without words, left immediately, leaving the guys in questions.

         “What could have happened?” Shindong asked.

         “I don’t know. But it doesn’t look too good…”

         “Aish chincha… when will their problems ever stop?” Yesung exclaims in a frustrated sigh. In fact he wasn’t the only one who’s feeling like that, everyone seem to be a little annoyed of that fact too.

        “I believe those two need a break, seriously…” Kyuhyun commented and for he naturally has a side where he has a sharp tongue, today is no exception.

        “Abwoya! Don’t say something like that!” others protested while Sungmin wraps his arm around the maknae’s neck, signifying to slow down on his remarks.

         “What? Isn’t it tiring to see how they’re always riding on a rollercoaster ride, and worse to see that only Donghae hyung seem to be the one to do everything for the relationship” another member joins Kyuhyun’s side.

         “We can’t just jump on saying that. We don’t know what’s going on behind doors, Dara noona might be doing something for Hae too and we’re not just aware of it because we’re not on her side”

         “But why does it seem that Donghae has to always suffer and get exhausted”

         “I’m pretty sure Dara noona is equally suffering with whatever is going on too.” Siwon says. “Did you see her face? She clearly cares and loves Hae hyung”

         “But why is she keeps hurting Donghae?”

         “Ya! She doesn’t okay?”

         “Ya… Are we seriously going to debate on this?” Heechul steps in the middle of the word war, halting the disagreement between two camps.

         It’s surprising to see how the opinions of Super Junior are now starting to divide when they usually unite on deciding and handling things.

        “Look whatever is going on, let’s stay out of it” their leader says. “It may look bad now, but you know them, they’ll easily survive this like the old ones”

        Everyone stayed silent, although some are really opposing to keep the relationship from continuing, it is not a matter they should meddle in. They agreed to help Donghae out with his relationship and support him whenever.

         “But what if this time they don’t?”

         On the rooftop, Donghae was resting his elbows on the railings, hands covering his face, drowned by his own thoughts and feelings. It’s the same rooftop where they first had conversed, where she asked him out, where everything has started. The dark sky is as black as back then, the stars shining brightly as before, and the wind feels bitterly cold. Everything just reminds him of that night, the only difference is, that time his heart was jumping for joy, but now, it’s stressed, confused and broken.

         He heard the door open behind him, but he didn’t bother facing around and see who it is. It was very quiet and only a quiet sniffing can be heard. He felt warm hands being slid around his body and from the back Dara embraced him.

         Just as he thought, it’s her. He still didn’t move though, he stayed where he is, submerged in his hands while she submerged her face on his back. Silence wrapped among them. Dara couldn’t stop crying.

         Her mind is in a blur, she doesn’t know what to do or say. She was upset and afraid of where they stand now. Donghae not saying a word makes it feel more agonizing and scary. It’s understood how he could be possibly wounded and mad to what he has seen.

         Dara wanted to say sorry, even if would sound differently, but had this lump in it that resisting her to utter any words.

         “Dara, tell me, is there still something I am fighting for?” Donghae broke in, tilting his head up uncovering the upper half of his face. “Or is it still gonna be about GD? Just for GD?”

         “No…” Dara groans. “GD and I are over…”

         “Then what did I see, Dara?” he asks, cold enough to call her by her name.

         “That was nothing, please don’t misunderstand” Dara says, hugging him tighter. Even with broken words and being drowned with her tears, she tried to explain what has happened.

         Admittedly Donghae feels pain inside his heart, but he loves Dara too much that the moment he saw the kiss, he actually didn’t get mad, he forgave them right away. However seeing it triggered something more, creating much impact deep inside him.

        Doubt.

         A doubt if he can still keep on going, if he is capable of handling more pain or if he still have the strength to move forward.

        Seeing that kiss didn’t make him jealous…

                …rather it made him weak.

        “I’m tired, Jagi” he murmurs lowly, against his palm, with clear defeat within his voice.

         Dara has been supposing to hear that sooner or later cause for the past days it’s been awfully obvious that he is exhausted. Thus it wasn’t a surprise that he did now. However, the pain of finally hearing it wasn’t as she expected. It felt like a knife just stabbed straight to her heart.

        GD was right then, Donghae did eventually get tired too.

         “I’m so tired… I just want to give up”

         “No! Don’t… Don’t give up” Dara says, tightening her embrace. “GD and I are really over, trust me. It’s you who I chose… I love you…”

         She forces him to turn around and face her. And he followed with his head still d