May 31, 2017.

This is it. The director's office, a place Soojung hasn't been to since "4 Walls". Clean floors, clean seats, the director waving his hands apologetically in front of him. 

Jongin, that child, ducks his head. But he doesn't cry, just nods. Soojung feels bad for him, but if she reaches out to touch him, he'll probably just run away...

And that was it. A quick ride back to her apartment; the rest of the day an empty passing of time. 

Clutching her phone, Soojung scrunches herself up on her sofa, watching the sky turn from pale gray, to a sick, dark blue, then, the comforting blanket of dark. It doesn't matter if the yellow dots before her eyes are the stars or the flashing building lights. But there's one little thing flickering there, a spot flitting here and to, blinking instead of Soojung's eyes. Strange. 

A simple text, and she briefly scrolls through a select few of the million news reports, before she gets tired of reading the same thing over and over. She raises her eyes back to the window; if a darting little light had been there before, it's gone now. 

Too bad, because one moment is enough to summon up those dreams of watching fireflies by the riverside, her head propped on his shoulder. Staring off into the emptiness outside her window, Soojung neatly folds away those dreams, sending them as close as possible to his window, somewhere off. 

Did the message get through? Her phone lights up, distracting her, and it's him. It's Jongin. Soojung sighs, wishing she had a glass of water by her hand. She doesn't. 

"Hello?" 

"Did you... see it?" 

"I did." 

She feels relieved, because his voice is as hoarse and void of life as hers is. He doesn't seem to know what to say. It's okay; she's not even trying. 

"I'll... wait. As long as I have to. It just seems... too far away to grasp right now, but it doesn't matter. I'll wait." 

He's kind. He's doing his best to make her feel better; like it's his most important mission as her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, she should say. What did she ever do, to find such a wonderful piece of luck? Ah... it'd be nice if they were together now. 

Twisting her legs together, Soojung remarks, "Thanks." 

The way his breath hovers in her ear, it's a smile. He talks about the members' reactions, how everyone seemed a lot more downcast than him. She closes her eyes and focuses on Jongin's voice, lights outside her window vaguely flickering through her eyelids. Dreams overtake her again, murmuring little responses while Jongin keeps talking, always to keep Soojung company. 

When she dreams about the shapes and pieces that got them this far, each little encounter which led to another, fumbling and fighting to be together even though they weren't supposed to, the dreams take her back to the furthest place. On a blinding windowsill, where they shared their feelings without words, with everyone watching them, they'd shared their first kiss. 

"...Sehun, he's worried about you more than he is about me, so shoot him a text when you can. Even when we first decided to go through with this, he didn't care all that much about me..."

Jongin's laugh tickles her ear, but the brighter he tries to sound, the further away he feels from her. She clings to her phone, to his voice, because his name is like words written into wet sand, the salty water having brushed by mere seconds ago, the meaning of those words just waiting to be washed away into the endless ocean with no trace left behind. She'll miss him, she'll miss him, she misses him.

"Jongin?" She interrupts him, but without a moment of hesitation, he responds, "Hm?"

"I wish I could take out every dream I've written in my diary and send them to you." 

A pause. "What? What does that mean?"

It means love. But she doesn't tell him that. They don't say stuff like that. Never did. "Just, you know." 

"I... don't know, Soojung. But, let's just say that I do. You never once let me look at your diary. A girl's diary is forever off limits, right?" 

"I'm glad you know. Just... when you have time, look outside, and see if there are any fireflies up there." 

"Fireflies? On the 7th floor? Maybe down on the Han river, but not..." 

Those dreams hurt them both, and it takes all of Soojung's willpower not to whimper. 

"If you get a chance, go have a look, is all." 

"Okay... I will." 

"Then... good night.... I hope... my dream will be a good new entry for my diary." 

He's quiet for a while, thinking, longing. And she misses him, too. 

"What... does that mean..?" 

It means love. It means 'I love you'. But she won't tell him that; not today, and not for a long, long time. 

"Good night, Jongin." 

"...Sleep well, don't be sick, and be sure to eat your three meals a day. Stay healthy, Soojung. I'll be waiting for you."

Neither of us ever got a chance to mention Kaistal's actual dating news, nor were we here when their breakup reports hit the news. I apologize for being late, but this is a little tribute to the past year that Kai and Krystal were a real couple together. I hope they were happy, and continue to be happy in their respective places from here on. This was also inspired by IU's "Through the Night". 

By Jellyfriedgreen7