What is this?

What's going on?

What's happening?

Where am I?

GOD I feel so weak. So vulnerable. So powerless. So frail....My body....My body....Pain....Everywhere......

Why is everything so dark?

The members? Where are they? Hyungs....everyone....Where are you guys?

I feel so cold. Cold. Everything is so dark. I can't...see anything.

My chest. They...h-hurt so bad......

S-someone. Anyone...help....I wanna go home.......

Somebody, please.....please take me home.

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Leeteuk was sitting on a bench near Han River. He was all alone, all by himself. He was staring far into the distance beyond the gorgeous, most-proud river flow of the city. Admiring it's beauty and enjoying the peace it never fail to provide for every visitor that came along.

As he continued his journey of looking into the distance and finding peace, he thought of s. Mostly, he thought of Kyuhyun, Kangin and Sungmin. The three of them.

First, Kyuhyun. Their precious, lovable, baby magnae Kyuhyun who is now missing. Gone to GOD-knows where. Unable to be found, to be searched, to be detected and to be brought back. He doesn't understand why anyone would want to kidnap Kyuhyun. Sure, Kyuhyun can be quite the evil persona and a stuck-up snobbish sometimes but that was only his way of showing his love to the people close with him. Veritably, his love for him and for the members. He never meant any harm in anything that he do or say to other people. Leeteuk knew very well what kind of a person Kyuhyun really is. Kyuhyun is definitely the most hardworking, the most caring and the most selfless person he had ever met. Kyuhyun was always there whenever somebody needed some help. He never refuses to lend a hand to those who seek him. Who needed him. Never. Heck, Kyuhyun is one of the most kind person he had ever met. So, why would anyone want to do this to him? WHY? WHY? WHY?!

He just. Didn't understand.

Next is Kangin. Kangin, whom is the bravest person he had ever met. Even though he look quite mean on the outside but he is actually really caring on the inside. Kangin cares so much for the members he would do anything for them. Anything. And Leeteuk is one of the few people who knew of this matter. Kangin is the type of person that would go to the ultimate point for the people he loves. He would rather see himself suffer than to see them suffer. He doesn't care if he has to sacrifice himself for their hapiness. He never cares and he never will. He just. Never. That's the kind of person Kangin really is. So, what Kangin did for him and for the members, he can never EVER repay it. Not in a million years. Not in the longest time. Kangin had thrown away his reputation for Kyuhyun and for the members. Precisely, he had thrown everything away. Everything. Because of his actions, he is now suspended from Super Junior activities for who knows how long. He is also no longer allowed to participate in any variety shows and radio programs. He is even not allowed to involve himself with other celebrities in anything including s. His own freaking members. In fact, he had become one of the most hated idols in the whole entertainment world. AND for what? For them. For s. His brothers. His everything. Is this what the kidnapper was aiming for? For Kangin to fall down? For him to be hated by the whole world? OR, even more precise, for Super Junior to break apart? To fight one another? To be disbanded? Is this really it? REALLY ?!

He just. Didn't understand.

And last but not least, Sungmin. His sweet sweet brother, Sungmin. Leeteuk didn't even have the right word to say to him. Veritably, he just didn't know what to say to him. How can he? This dongsaeng of his. This selfless dongsaeng of his who had willingly cut himself in order to save their magnae, Kyuhyun. In order for him to be alive, to be unharmed, to be untouched, HE HAD FREAKING CUT HIMSELF. There is no way Leeteuk can ever forgive himself for what happened with Sungmin. How can he? How will he? He, the leader, the oldest member, the eldest brother of Super Junior, he, had let himself watched Sungmin suffer. He, had let himself endure his cries of pain. He, had let his dongsaeng get hurt right before his eyes. He, the supposed leader of Super Junior, HE, had blindy watch not one but three of his dongsaengs suffer right under his watch. Three of them. Did the kidnapper want this? Did he or she want him to feel guilty for the rest of his life? Did he or she want him to feel like the world biggest crap? Did that person really want to see him to break down? Want to see him suffer? Did he or she really want this? THIS ?!

He just. Didn't understand.

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Leeteuk stared at his reflection in the water. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes. He placed his hands on his chest. There was so much pain inside them that he found it hard to breathe. Every breath somehow, hurt him. Like there was tiny needles piercing right into his heart giving him nothing but emptiness. It was so painful that it hurt him like never before. He then looked back into the distance. Somehow, the river doesn't seem peaceful anymore.

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