"Breakup Chronicles" By: Aneyeos.

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"Breakup Chronicles"

By: Aneyeos.



Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.


1-Title: "Breakup Chronicles" is an interesting title, it doesn't necessarily entail of any specific theme or genre, other than Romance and perhaps Drama. It's a bit confusing though, it may mislead some readers into thinking that the story consists of nothing but separate, unrelated chapters, each containing different plot/setting/characters. At least that's the message I've received.

Rating: [8/10].


2-Description/Foreword: Right, I can see you've got an idea of the theme and it's pretty clear (It's a back and forth between Romance and Drama). The description doesn't investigate into the title nor does it add something new, we've realised that there are two main characters (from the poster) and the description merely rephrases the title in a more detailed way. I think you should supply the readers with a more insightful glimpse into the general plot without giving too much, it doesn't have to be generous or lengthy, just sufficiently done. Also, the poster is really beautiful and fits the overall theme of the layout and colour palette.

Rating: [8/10].


3-Plot: The beginning is very interesting, we're immediately introduced to the main character (or one of the two main characters) Chaeyoung, and you've used the third-person narrative voice which is usually recommended in dramatic stories.

Now let's talk about the diction in your story, there are three necessary elements regarding diction that must be used in every story: Speech effectiveness, speech clearness, and speech correctness. The speech effectiveness in your story is rather weak, sufficient, but weak. Here's the issue, your story revolves around romance and drama, sometimes even tragedy, and this means that your choice of words needs to be stronger in order to obtain a reactive feedback. Try to use more sensitive synonyms and try to employ them as a connective agent between your message and the audience's hearts.

Speech clearness is so far, valid and intuitive, you've refrained from using unpopular terms and foreign language, which is usually used in drama but when you infuse that with post-modernist settings, it tends to grow more complicated. But you needn't worry about that.

Regarding the speech correctness, there are countless grammatical issues within the first and second chapters alone. English might not be your native language but your story shouldn't suffer because of such issue; consider running it through a Beta reader first. Let's investigate more deeply into the issue, your choice of words is not by any means bad, it's well but it's incorrect in regards to the sentence structure. Let me provide an example, during chapter no.2, in the first paragraph, “The students in the canteen made Chaeyoung and Lisa to groan." The additional preposition "to" is unnecessary in this case, you could say "The students in the canteen pushed Chaeyoung and Lisa to groan". The syntactic issues in your story doesn't render the reader incapable of grasping the core meaning of your plot, but it does pushes them to become slight

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omg, love your reviews, they are really in-depth and helpful. i wish you'll open in the future so i can request!
Chapter 81: Hello, thank you so much for taking your time in writing this very thorough review! There is a lot that I can learn from this that would help me improve not only for this particular story but for my writing in general as well. The discussion on the story's setting and how to deliver the characters' situation and thoughts to the reader are pointers that I needed to hear. Thank you for also giving me clear examples of those pointers. I'll read the review over and over, and make sure I improve from this.

I've credited the shop in my foreword already. Again, thank you and take care!
Hello, I would like to submit a request for a story review. It's my first time requesting one and I am a little nervous but here goes nothing!

-Title of your story/one-shot: Lost n' Found

-Number of chapters: 1 (with around 2690 words)

-Type/theme of your story: Slice of life

-State of your story: I'm contemplating if I should add another chapter, but for now, the story is "completed" as it is.

-Link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1477721/lost-n-found
Are u accepting request?
Chapter 2: 1. Innocence Lost [Sehun]
2. 20 chapters (only 7k words)
3. Angst<3
4. Completed
5. https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1286739

Thank you!!
Chapter 2: 1-Every Rose Has its Thorn
2- 20 chapters
3-Romantic-Drama; Friends with benefits

I’ve done review and writing workshops in college, but this is my first time requesting feedback outside of school. Would love to have another opinion!
Chapter 78: i love how you spelled out every detail on where the goods and bads in the story as well as what kind of improvements i can work on. well, especially on the characterization and the plot! and yeah i never thought i didn't do proper character introduction since im too focused on the haha and when you mentioned that i did tend to leave the rest of imaginations to the readers! i'm actually very excited to include more of what's happening in the surrounding of the characters and to show more of their personalities and develop their characterization (this is going to be tough since i think my skills are lacked in this area)

i really appreciate the amount of information written in this thorough, super insightful and honest review on my story! thank you so much for taking the time to read and give me feedback!😍
Chapter 2: I’ve read the rules and my story is eligible to request for review!!! 😍😍😍

Title: Thorned Roses Under the Moonlight Shade (by parkyume)
No. of chapters: 9
Theme: , PWP, Joseon AU, Noble x Lowborn, In search of love, Possessive/Abusive Love, -driven plot
State of my story: On-going
Direct link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1427576/thorned-roses-under-the-moonlight-shade

I’d love it if you could help me finding out on how to develop the plot and characterization from here until the end!! You can give me advice and opinions!!! because that’s what I need!! 🤩🥸 Thank you so much!!!
HIII!!! I want to request!!! But I’m at work so can I request a slot & submit the official application by today??? 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I’m sorry I hadn’t read the rules yet 😭😭😭
Thank you! I read the whole thing and I took notes on how I can further improve my writing. There's a lot to learn and I'm glad I requested from you. I didn't even know what a Character Cluster is! I would love to talk more about writing with you, but I do not know if you're busy or not. This is just a hobby of mine that I picked up and am trying to hone (A measly med student here). I would be interested in what I could further do to improve (except read books 'cause I do that daily). On another note, my favorite book is called "The Lies of Locke Lamora". What's yours? Agh, I've been rambling. I better stop. Once again, I thank you for your work, and as per the rules, I gave credits in the Foreword.

Happy Holidays!