“Shards of Us”

By:Know-Logic

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.

1-Title: “Shards of Us” seems like an appropriate title for a dramatic story, especially one which involves such a marital union. The title entails the necessary dramatic effect which presents this story as that of a romantic drama, whether the readers are ready or not, they’re gifted a story supposedly lead by a couple, thus relating to the “us” in the title. It’s quite clever!

Rating: [10/10].

2-Description/Foreword: The description is of appropriate length which is commonly recommended and noticeably beneficial. I thought the transition between the initiative narrative for the description was very clever and well done I nearly couldn’t feel that the introduction of the character came afterward. Good job!

Rating: [10/10].

3-Plot: Right, so the first chapter works as an amazing start, I sense anticipation within your audience which I believe is excited by the humble introduction of the characters. Sometimes, it is beneficial to preserve any sort of complexity for the . The speed of the story is quite nice as well; I can tell that you’ve taken the time to differentiate in terms of speed and frequency between important events to the less important events.

Since your story takes place in a busy city, make sure to take up slight space to illustrate the surroundings to your readers, simply because it is not mentioned as a primary aspect of a story doesn’t make environmental staging any less important. I suggest that you do a little follow up on the Age of Naturalism movement where the scenery is often illustrated as busy and chaotic, such attributes being produced by the restless prosperity in industrialization in modern communities such as the one in your story. Really, it doesn’t have to be anything rich or velvety, a simple reminder of the business of streets, or the brightness of city lights every once in a while will do it justice, make sure to avoid repetitive phrases though.

I wish there was an adequate space between the first mention of Oh Sehun’s name and the actual, proper sighting. Considering this story has an undeniably large aspect of romance and tragedy, usually, it is best for the emotional retrospective of said relationship or infatuation to be gradually laid out and slowly explained to the readers with each chapter. You can prolong this introduction or sighting by letting go of any sort of verbal conversations and resort to using the character’s inner voice to work as a narrative in order to strategically form a conceptual bond which will evidently and gracefully refer your readers to the “us” used in the title.

There’s a singularly intriguing phrase in chapter 3 which I was drawn into, it’s this phrase “She could run away from it anytime; no one was stopping her, but at the end of the day, she found herself returning.” We vaguely understand her emotional connection to this place and to Baekhyun but there’s an opportunity for you as an author to create a deeper understanding regarding this situation, whether it’s for reputation, money, or fame, mentioning that it’s an arranged marriage may not be adequate enough to meet with the general element of Recognition. There must be a moment in Romantic/Tragic drama where the character connects with the audience by recognizing the approaching conflict, if you’re planning on making an astonishing reversal or plot-twist where Hana makes an escape for it, then her state as an unhappy woman must be enhanced so her elopement would appear more signif