“Vengeful Romance”

By: Muasbby.

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.

1-Title: “Vengeful Romance” is not a bad title, it’s not necessarily imaginative or creative yet it’s dramatically engaging in the aspect of promising the readers a roller coaster of diverse events. It showcases a hint of conflict, love, and possibly a promising resolution.

Rating: [8/10].

2-Description/Foreword: The description is of suitable length but I think it may contain some grammatical and syntactical issues, so you can just proofread it later. As for the foreword portion of your story, it’s really long and when you choose to quote a conversation or dialogue from your story the audience will most likely be confused and might not understand it thoroughly. The cover is really beautiful by the way!

Rating: [8/10].

3-Plot: Right, so the beginning is usually the field for subtle environmental illustration and prominent introduction for each character. The introduction to your story is good so far, but it’s rushed; the characters are introduced as a clump which will evidently lower the value of each character. You can take things slower by explaining every event further based on importance and relevance, for example, Mani’s little brother has a colourful background of illnesses and injuries that should be brought to attention instead of the conversation about the twins’ academic achievements.

The general layout of the story is fine but the problem lays in the overly-detailed description of everything. There’s no need to vocalise every thought that comes across every character’s mind. Instead of writing “’Hey,’ Yongguk asked, poking her thigh”, you could say “Greeted the older man, playfully nudging her thigh as he sought after her undivided attention”. There’s no physical or literary need for you as an author to vocalise every thought and notion, this is why your story is ten chapters long with 4k words in every one of them.

I’m not entirely sure which character is main and which is minor, I don’t think it’s a good idea to grant a minor character the POV, at least not this early. Why does the character of Daehyun deserve its own POV? As the audience, we don’t know anything about this character so you have to introduce the character before awarding it with its own POV.

Does your story serve different timelines? Does it participate in the idea of chronological interruptions? It’s very confusing because of the number of characters that keep flocking into the story every paragraph. Sorry, I’m just a bit frustrated because the story is clearly beautiful but I cannot understand most of these events because of the characters. As soon as you start working on the characters, your story will come together and will appear more intact, so don’t stress yourself over it.

The story won’t go anywhere if you keep changing POVs and introduce characters during every dialogue. You need, no actually, you have to fix this issue, it’s critical. By removing unhelpful characters, the story will start taking off because of the lighter weight, like an aeroplane!

There are little fruitful potentials with the climatic turn-of-events or plot-twist, if you do have an issue regarding a roma