“Capi per Somnium”

By: Sunchild.

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.

1-Title:

As usual, your titles are extraordinarily captivating and theatrically induced. Indulging into the adventure of creating a title using a foreign language, especially a deceased language such as Latin can be tricky. I personally had some issues with understanding the meaning embedded into the title, so I was compelled to rely on Google for an explanation; so far, I’ve understood something regarding a dream or something. I think it adds a hint of a historical approach, not to be taken too seriously. It’s a bit playful and inventive. I like it and so do your readers.

Rating: [10/10].

2-Description/Foreword:

Of course, the description is just as interesting as the title, the way you’ve interpreted the brief description sounds nearly poetic and rhythmic, it often wins attention. Including the description in the form of questions is a classical method of encouraging the audience to stay tuned and check on the story regularly. Again, you’ve introduced the characters alongside a brief description which will inevitably come in handy for new readers. Also, the poster couldn’t get any lovelier; it suits the general theme of the story alongside emphasizing on the two main characters.

Rating: [10/10].

3-Plot:

As usually advised, the story begins as a rudimentary projector for the main characters’ backgrounds, it works as a sort of guidance for the readers. I think the way you’ve managed to win the interest of so many readers by the first chapter is quite inspiring; it only authenticates the quality of your literary work. You seem to be a fan of working two timelines at the same time, it suits you and you’re a professional at it. So, don’t change a thing! The personalities and natural flow of the story seem serene and inviting, so it ought to assemble the pace of the story as that of a careful yet, smooth speed.

The second chapter carries off a similar vibe to the first one, the switching between timelines is tricky but it will keep your readers entertained in case you chose to lengthen the process of developing a plot. I do advise you to go back to the first two chapters and demonstrate even further the scenic surroundings of each character; it shouldn’t be merely an opening characteristic to each chapter, try and depict the environment in every scene. I see you’ve done that (sort of), but you can do so much more than merely gently graze the surface of the great world of nature, your readers depend on you to deliver every scenic element to them, it’s also an opportunity for you, as an author, to deepen your understanding of nature.

The fourth chapter is an ideal place to make a stopping point. I do wish for more dramatic events as the chapter progresses, the plot seems to be taking a rather stagnant pace as a result of the lack of theatrics. Though your story may possess an equable and serene ambience, it is in critical need for drama or angst. You have the opportunity to elucidate an entire world of dreams and nightmares, so why diminish the innumerable aspects of Surrealism? There isn’t any genuine depiction of the dream as an independent episode other than the brief illustration at the end of two chapters.

I cannot seem to make any sense of the relation between the chapters and their titles, I kept searching for a connection but I cannot seem to find any. Titles are found for a single purpose and that is to guide the readers to the intended chapter, you could only numerate them if you happen to experience some difficulty in executing a perfect balance between the title and the chapter.

The plot-twist with Rose appeared unexpectedly and as I’ve mentioned before, there weren’t enough events and situations proper enough to smooth this out, it came suddenly and shockingly, like a pothole. Since this story isn’t as popular as The Universe Collided, because it’s relevantly recent, you still have enough time and space to go bac