"Beloved Sonia" By: Nithya

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“Beloved Sonia”

By: Nithya

Reviewer: St-renaissance.

 

1-Title: “Beloved Sonia” is definitely an interesting title, it’s original and carries a specific proper noun (name) which means that a story is on order. A beginning, middle and an end, we’d love to know the story behind the name and the term of endearment.

Rating: 10/10.

 

2-Description: The description isn’t really helpful, it doesn’t provide any information regarding the story or helps illustrate the title. The description has failed to deliver its purpose and I believe that it might be more useful to have it be reshaped into a literary-appropriate paragraph where your readers can understand what they’re going into without having to read the whole thing. Maybe you’d like to consider something like mentioning the protagonist of your story in the description, and their motives/aims.

Rating: I won’t rate this portion until you’ve reconstructed it and given it proper attention.

 

3-Plot: The beginning is very interesting, there are a lot of useful information alongside an efficient background foundation. Even though there aren’t any environmental factors, the story centres in a limited sphere and can use social extensions such as class issues, race, gender, mental maladjustment and political corruption. Doing so can help expand the setting applied to the story which will inevitably reflect on your characters and how they accept/reject certain theories or philosophies. The general pace of the story is absolutely incredible, you don’t need to change a thing, it’s careful while maintaining suspense as the narrator slowly unveils hidden details of the character’s past. Your story falls under the Post-Modern (YA) genre which usually doesn’t shy away from focusing an investigative lens on the character’s opinions on social injustice, traditional practice, and scientific indulgences. The POV used here is the third-person point of view which is both common and efficient. Narrating a character’s life and story requires a general and impartial glimpse and can be enhanced by using elements such stream-of-conscious and soliloquies. The type of narration used here is personal but carries a hint of biographical narrative, it takes care of the character’s past and makes sure to involve the reader in their life as much as possible. There are few grammatical issues in the first chapter, for example: ‘Making his ends meet’should be ‘Making ends meet’, ‘New born’should be ‘Newborn’. Consider installing a lovely program called Grammerly, it helps you correct any grammatical or structural issues as you’re writing.

Here’s the thing, when we write a romantic story or any story with a romantic element, we must keep in mind that the audience will not care for the couple if their relationship is treated with shallowness. The audience must understand the importance of this relationship and whythey should feel something when it comes to an end. Gradually, the readers are introduced to each character sepa

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Comments

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BangMind
#1
omg, love your reviews, they are really in-depth and helpful. i wish you'll open in the future so i can request!
Sphinx_
#2
Chapter 81: Hello, thank you so much for taking your time in writing this very thorough review! There is a lot that I can learn from this that would help me improve not only for this particular story but for my writing in general as well. The discussion on the story's setting and how to deliver the characters' situation and thoughts to the reader are pointers that I needed to hear. Thank you for also giving me clear examples of those pointers. I'll read the review over and over, and make sure I improve from this.

I've credited the shop in my foreword already. Again, thank you and take care!
Sphinx_
#3
Hello, I would like to submit a request for a story review. It's my first time requesting one and I am a little nervous but here goes nothing!

-Title of your story/one-shot: Lost n' Found

-Number of chapters: 1 (with around 2690 words)

-Type/theme of your story: Slice of life

-State of your story: I'm contemplating if I should add another chapter, but for now, the story is "completed" as it is.

-Link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1477721/lost-n-found
Misskittyrose
#4
Are u accepting request?
vivibop
#5
Chapter 2: 1. Innocence Lost [Sehun]
2. 20 chapters (only 7k words)
3. Angst<3
4. Completed
5. https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1286739

Thank you!!
diamondELF193
#6
Chapter 2: 1-Every Rose Has its Thorn
2- 20 chapters
3-Romantic-Drama; Friends with benefits
4-Completed
5-https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/879665

I’ve done review and writing workshops in college, but this is my first time requesting feedback outside of school. Would love to have another opinion!
parkyume
#7
Chapter 78: i love how you spelled out every detail on where the goods and bads in the story as well as what kind of improvements i can work on. well, especially on the characterization and the plot! and yeah i never thought i didn't do proper character introduction since im too focused on the haha and when you mentioned that i did tend to leave the rest of imaginations to the readers! i'm actually very excited to include more of what's happening in the surrounding of the characters and to show more of their personalities and develop their characterization (this is going to be tough since i think my skills are lacked in this area)

i really appreciate the amount of information written in this thorough, super insightful and honest review on my story! thank you so much for taking the time to read and give me feedback!😍
parkyume
#8
Chapter 2: I’ve read the rules and my story is eligible to request for review!!! 😍😍😍

Title: Thorned Roses Under the Moonlight Shade (by parkyume)
No. of chapters: 9
Theme: , PWP, Joseon AU, Noble x Lowborn, In search of love, Possessive/Abusive Love, -driven plot
State of my story: On-going
Direct link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1427576/thorned-roses-under-the-moonlight-shade

I’d love it if you could help me finding out on how to develop the plot and characterization from here until the end!! You can give me advice and opinions!!! because that’s what I need!! 🤩🥸 Thank you so much!!!
parkyume
#9
HIII!!! I want to request!!! But I’m at work so can I request a slot & submit the official application by today??? 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I’m sorry I hadn’t read the rules yet 😭😭😭
purplerain-
#10
Thank you! I read the whole thing and I took notes on how I can further improve my writing. There's a lot to learn and I'm glad I requested from you. I didn't even know what a Character Cluster is! I would love to talk more about writing with you, but I do not know if you're busy or not. This is just a hobby of mine that I picked up and am trying to hone (A measly med student here). I would be interested in what I could further do to improve (except read books 'cause I do that daily). On another note, my favorite book is called "The Lies of Locke Lamora". What's yours? Agh, I've been rambling. I better stop. Once again, I thank you for your work, and as per the rules, I gave credits in the Foreword.

Happy Holidays!