"Anti-Hero" By: Sylviaplant.
|Rainy Day Cafe Review Shop & Blog | St-renaissance| NOT ACCEPTING !!“Anti-Hero”
By: Sylviaplant
Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.
1-Title: “Anti-Hero” sounds interesting enough, a bit quirky yet theatrically enthralling. It bespeaks of an approaching conflict which might shape the overall plot and appearance of the story.
Rating: [10/10].
2-Description/Foreword: Though the description is quite long, it is helpful for your readers. The foreword and description may contradict each other considering they’re very elongated and could come off as overwhelming. If you feel comfortable with editing the preview portion of the introduction and combine it with the first chapter as a glimpse into the character’s past or background, accomplishing such a task could smooth out the process of character introduction. It’s merely a suggestion though considering it is not mandatory.
The cover is absolutely fascinating and looks quite fitting and inspiring. It’s professionally designed and would benefit your story greatly.
Rating: [10/10].
3-Plot: The beginning is gripping, I see background info, and I see a conservative use of satirical devices for initiating humour. I did notice the use of a simpler language to narrate your story; it’s a classical Romantic method of connecting with the common audience considering that the time setting of the story is present time. The chronological transition between the two timelines appears a bit weak and fragile; the chapter itself is a bit too long considering the events taking place are prolonged and outstretched that it makes the story or the conversation appear aimless and tedious.
When attempting to construct a certain plot point, make sure you don’t lose your audience by straying too far from the plot, plus the conversations are too long and overly detailed which ought to title the characters as shallow. Let me explain, when writing a literary piece using the First-Person narrative, the focus should be on the inner monologues and those activities are a result of the lack of conversational qualities, meaning when using the FPN there shouldn’t be much conversation. However, when using the Third-Person narrative, following the Piaget’s theory, the internal monologue should consist of both conversers’ psychological stigma and emotional blueprint. In such case, you cannot use too much time and space for inner dialogue and instead replace it with a moderate conversation and significant exchange of fulfilling correlation.
I know you’ve mentioned that “superhumans” and humans will soon enough live together as one kind and whatnot, but considering that your storyline takes place amidst such transition then –initially- everything must revolve around those powers. The characters in your story speak of powers as if they were grades, they’re being casual about it, and when the characters attempt to discuss the powers it comes off as a simple heated quarrel rather than the theoretical analysis that might help the reader understand more about the powers.
Here’s the issue, it’s either one of two problems: the storyline isn’t fertile enough to sprout out a fantastically-charged plot such as yours. In this case, you can edit some simple monologues and dialogues and darken the general theme of the story, beguiling the given aura into Gothic Phantasm. This step will provide your story with theatrical elements of ho
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