“Broken Sky”

By: Sehunnie99.

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.

1-Title: “Broken Sky” entails of a tragic journey, perhaps a story involving personal difficulties such as psychological illnesses or emotional trauma. I don’t think there could’ve been a more suitable title for an angsty, profound and tragic story, especially one that navigates through touchy topics such as self-harm and personal issues. It isn’t misleading or overpromising, it’s suitable and sensible.

Rating: [10/10].

2-Description/Foreword: The description portion of the story should entail hints and a glimpse into the plot-line without giving too much away, the problem with your description is that it’s too vague. Despite having multiple grammatical and syntactical issues, I think the description and the foreword section complement each other quite efficiently.

Rating: [7/10].

3-Plot: Right, the beginning is interesting; it contains every initial piece of information that nurtures the proper build-up which is vital to every short story. Here’s the thing, your storyline has drastically decreased in value due to the fact that your incorrect use of grammar and punctuation marks is of frequent occurrence. Try and secure a beta reader or at least run your story through an online editor before publishing it, it’ll help in enhancing the quality of your work. To be completely honest here, I’ve had to go over certain paragraphs twice or so, the writing isn’t bad but your point might get lost in translation and ruins the quality of your work. Look, I’ve already gone over this with more than one author, so don’t feel discouraged. The issue of domestic abuse or psychological imbalance is a grave issue; it’s very common yet prominent in importance, so when you do plan on writing about that issue, try not taking it lightly. Such issues cannot be grazed over so slightly, they must be thoroughly explored and carefully analysed, otherwise it might reflect negatively on your reputation as an author.

Your story is merely a one-shot, meaning it doesn’t contain any chapters or prologues, and thus your beginning, , and ending should be of considerable yet sensible length. The beginning is unnecessarily long and quite frankly, tedious. It is so because the use of diction is very simple and could appear repetitive. In literature, there are certain genres that require an elevated use of diction and proper grammar, one of th